


Hold Me, While You Wait

by misseuri



Series: Eternal Love [1]
Category: Babii, offgun
Genre: Angst, F/M, Failed Relationship, LGBTQ, M/M, Romance, Selfless, Yaoi, alternative universe, burn bridges, fan fiction, menxmen, offgun - Freeform, offmild
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 60,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misseuri/pseuds/misseuri
Summary: When feelings instantneously vanish like the wind , turn into cold one, Particulary happened on Off and Gun ,They've been together for within 6 years and things remain the same how they used to be since day one . Until one day Off profess that he wants come to an end their relationship just because he doesn't feel the connection anymore and he wants to explore some new stuff inlove ... wait for a new love, on other hand Gun feeling sorrow and shattered ask a favor that will last forever."Let me Hold you ,While you wait"
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat, Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Eternal Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009380
Comments: 26
Kudos: 82





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> i've been inspired by Lewis Capaldi's Hold me while you wait song and it's story behind , it was so downcast and it burst my heart until an idea came out on my mind and i've decided to compose it, Personally i'm so inlove with my idea but i'm not forcing all of you . Writing is only my passion and to entertain as well . I've also decided to write this in english foor other babii's out there because i wanted to share my story . English is not my first language and i'm not fluent , even so i tried my best to make all of you understand the story at least. sorry in advance for grammatical errors and mispellings in a head, i hope you'll enjoy the story. i will update whenever i have a vacant time
> 
> thankful,  
> MISS EURIDITE
> 
> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**"Somethings**   
**aren't meant to last**   
**forever**   
**smell the rose**   
**while it's still alive**   
**But do not hate it**   
**for wilting"**

**___________________________________**

Off and Gun are both silently sitting in the couch while staring on the blankly wall in Gun's condo living room. Wondering about everything they've been through within 6 years , will unforseen vanished with a glimpse

"Are you tired'' Gun suddenly uttered , to break the ice inasmuch they remain silent since off asked to slip away

"I'm not...I'm not happy anymore" he replied, a tears suddenly formed into gun's eyes

"W-what h-happened ? It's just i find it strange... we w-were just both happy yesterday but now...what a perfect twist of fate " Gun unbelivably said " Is there something w-wrong with me?''

Off turned his eyesight at him but he regretted it. Seeing gun in tears it's making him fall apart . He wanted to wipe those tears away , like he always used to do ,however he doesn't want to give a false hope the latter one

He sighed

"I know it may sound cliché, stupid lines that we often hear in movies or series ... It's not you ,it's me. It's me the one who got sick. It feels odd that i don't want to hold on anymore in this relationship, and you don't deserve that gun" and he turned his gape away from gun

'' b-by any c-chance... is there someone'' he asked and off chuckled

"Relationship's always end up because of that bullshit third parties, nonetheless ...i aprised you before all else ain't one of them..you know that gun i will forthwith tell to you if i fall out inlove , i never lied at you never . I've always been honest with you at the outset.I don't have one...for now"

Gun looked at him sadly '' then...what made you gave up ?"

Off smiled at him bitterly "i have no idea , i can not give you the reason you deserve for now but all i know, i woke up one day feeling odd and discover that i just want to explore new stuff in love. I want to fall inlove again with a different story, different protagonist...something new . i want to slip away all of sudden"

"so you got sick of me?"

'' I Never got tired of you , not a chance ...it's just our relationship who made me sick and i'm not happy anymore. We were too comfortable at each other, we know how to understand each other , to comfort and something. we may not argue most of the time even so that's what making our relationship odd. We don't have the connection,the spark ,the thrill. We aren't even opposite , and viceversa to those other relationship, they might argue most of the time, facing circumstances and so on but that's the rule ,And we are not part of them"

"how could you ? , it's pointless"

"i know because i actually do"

Gun suddenly stand up from the couch and walk towards the window and face the fresh air coming from it.

"Can you give me atleast an acceptable reason? owing to the fact ain't sufficient" he said without looking at him

''as i said , i want to explore new things , i want to fall in love again with someone new, discover some affections that i haven't felt before" he said and Gun sarcastically chuckled

"bullshitness" he mumble "Off...you just don't love me enough to make you retain in our relationship" he replied at him and stared at him

"i do love you ...but it isn't same as before i don't know how things have change but i don't want to carry on it anymore"

"Aren't you just confuse?"

"I'm not gun"

"then why?" he hopelessly asked

"i..i'm sorry"

"you don't have to apologize off. Feelings evanasce on the spur of the moment, and you didn't mean it to happen yet even i want to hold you back it'll be selfish of me and i don't want to make you stay in that way" he bitterly said

"You deserve it gun, even so you don't deserve me since i'm not good enough to be abudant for you"

"You were enough off, you didn't just aknowledge it" the atmosphere sudden became quiet for what he said , making off to release a heavy sigh

"Do you stll remembere our story?" Gun break the ice

"How can i?" he replied and as the cold wind blows as their memory 6 years ago flashes on their head.

**END OF PROLOGUE.**


	2. Day One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**"His love was a bit like spring;**   
**wild as the wind**   
**and flickle as the weather,**   
**but his love ran**   
**deep as tree roots"**

* * *

**June 2012**

"You're not gonna believe for what i heard!" Jane exclaimed

"then we won't " new mocked and jane hit him on his head reason for the latter to groan

"What again, don't tell me it's about the flying rumors about our Terror Teacher was seen making out with our Varsity Player First? Or is it about your ex who got dumped by your cousin and you were so happy because he deseves it?" Gun Sarcastically said

"I bet, she always exclaims about it" New agree.

Singto suddenly snorted " Just cut it off Jane, we are so damn sick of it"

"How Could you!" and she made a face "It isn't about that! What i'm actually going to tell is, it's about the new transferee! Like he is so damn hot, i learned that he came from Thailand and now his Parents decided to Stay here for the good!" she griddy said

"Uh Really What's his name" Gun Boredly asked

"Oh... I think Off Johnpaul? Something like that"

"What a weird name" Gun snort

"We didn't complained about your name tho, Gun? Like seriously " and New Chuckled

He picked up his Note book, then rolled it and instantly hit Newwiee's head making the latter groan

"What the fuck" gun just rolled his eyes

"shut up! I realized something!" Jane

"What is it?" They said in unison

"I THINK HIS OUR CLASSMATE LOOK!" She pointed out the door behind them, because the three of them are sitting at the back while Jane is sitting on their front

They turn their glance at the door, and Gun's heart suddenly skipped a beat abnormally

He Fell in love at first sight with him. When he saw him, like he had known him or felt comfortable with him already, and he had never met him before, even at this point, he had only seen him across of this Small Classroom.

Gun doesn't believe in love at first sight, neither in love. He isn't an avid fan of Romatic movies or what, he always work his ass and he'd rather compose some Poem or listen at 90's Stereo. Until Off Happened

He isn't that stupid enough not to realize about the foreign feelings, he wouldn't deny it,but what made him confuse is, Is He a gay? Nor Bisexual? Even though he hasn't had some girlfriends nor dated before he knew itself that he's straight as pole

'This is driving me nuts'

And He knew from that day, as the Boy set foot in their Classroom it is the day he Came into his Heart.

* * *

Gun was in rush considering that he's already late on his Biology class which located on other Building of their University and the only way to arrive instantly there is through passing at Soccer Field.

In view of the fact that he's in hurry he didn't had the chance to notice the bag where lying on the ground and unfortunately he tripped upon it, and he fell badly.

"What The fuck!" He said, annoyed.

He looked at the owner of the thing who made him tripped and he wasn't expecting it's Off, the Transferee. And yes his heart skipped a beat for the second time which made his cheeks heated. He turn away his gaze to avoid his eyes

'What a wonderful day it is!'

Off walked near him, and he extended his hand and offered it on Gun

"Sorry about that i was careless didn't think about it can harm someone, need a hand" He said making Gun's eyebrows a line

'Is he even sincere?'

"No Thanks Just be careful next time" Didn't accept his hand and He was about to get up when he almost fell again, but fortunately Off Catch him right away

Gun's Face immediately turned into tomato and his body started to shaken making him weird

'Why the hell i'm feeling nervous? Did i felt being giddy because of his small gestures? What the fuck'

"I think You're not ok" and he carries him in a bridal style " I'll bring you to the clinic"

"You're just being exaggerated, put me down!" but the latter ignored him "I said put me the hell down!"

"Stop being Stubborn, it's pretty obviously that you can't walk you left foot and you got sprain"

"But---"

"No More buts or Else!" Off eyes suddenly landed at the little guy's Plumpy Lips and he moved his gaze right away before the latter notice him

"Or Else?"

"Shut up or you going to regret it" He said

Gun doesn't want to admit but he got little bit scared of him so he just decided to shut his mouth before something happens that can make him regret of his Entire Life.

* * *

"Just leave some cold compress at your foot and as much as possible don't move it too much or else it wouldn't heal within 3 days" The Nurse said and They Just Both nodded, Off hasn't still leave, he stayed beside him.

Gun assure that he can handle it by himself and Off Can leave him alone but the Latter insisted to stay. Even he doesn't want, he have no choice.

Frankly speaking Gun wanted the guy to Go away because the longer Off Stay the longer his heart beat faster

"Anyway i haven't still introduced myse---"

"Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn you came from Thailand right?" He cut him off

"Woah it looks like you pretty know me huh" he unbelievably uttered

"You're the girls center of attraction, mostly your name appear everywhere" he boredly said

"Well it wouldn't hurt if i introduce myself, Formaly isn't?" He said and Extend his hand "I'm Jumpol Adulkittiporn but you Can call me Off" and his lips curled up

His smile is really contagious, it lights up the world and it made Gun Lost his words. It feels like all of his troubles in life fade away now seeing that smile... His smile reflected the light of the sun when it is the brightest.

'That fucking Smile'

He shook his head and chuckled Sarcastically

"You ok?" Off suddenly uttered

"Yeah ido"

"So Your name?"

"Gun... Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat" and a little smile written on His Face.

"Gun... Friends ?" The latter offered, he looked at his hand for a second

'Friends? Why am i even disappointed? Jesus Chris am i already deadly inlove with this person, i cant believe at myself'

"... Friends" and he Accepted his hand as he let the guy To enter his Life... And heart.

* * *

Months had passed Off and Gun are getting along quite well, they always seen sharing their foods everybreak time, hanging out every weekends, watching some netflix and etc.

They didn't know what happened but it just happened that they suddenly felt connections like they have known each other long time ago.

But the further they became closer, The more Gun's Feelings Grew,and against his will Gun became distance. He wanted to get rid his feelings but whenever he tries , he just finding himself sitting besides the latter and talking about their lives and future's

gun just sigh.

He's currently at the university's roof top due that he skipped his class just to avoid off. Don't get him wrong he doesn't want to neglect his studies, but he needs time....he need some space to get rid his feelings

He took a little step forward to the edge of the rooftop,he lift his leg and step on it then open his arms posing like a free bird

Other people might mistaken him as someone who's trying to kill himself but the truth is he's just taking a deep breath and seizing the air inasmuch it's comfortzone whenever he feel down ...his a Risk taker after all just to let you know

he close his eyes and feel the moment and he took a deep breath but then he got surprised when someone pulled him back from the ledge and they both fell on the ground

"WHAT THE HELL--- Off? what are you doing here?" gun asked him ,yes off was the one pulled him back

"are you out of your mind? what are you trying to do? are you nuts ,trying to kill yourself gun if you have a problem share it on me suicide isn't the answer to our problem it wouldn't solve it even you take your own life!" he furiously said and held gun's shoulders

Gun was speechless he wasn't used seeing him mad because the guy was always cheerful and always crack some jokes but seeing the new side of him....

"Off..." the only word was left on gun,off looked at him seriously

"I've got nothing to complain when you gave me a cold shoulder thinking that maybe you just want to take some space alone with yourself,i've got nothing to complain when you were ignoring my calls and messages but seeing you standing at the ledge it's definetly absurd gun!" off cupped his face "You are worth gun and whatever running through your head don't hestitate to run at me i'll listen to all your problems,hear me out gun!" and off pulled him into his chest and snuggled himself upon his neck

gun gulped 'how can i tell him that i was just taking deep breath and i wasn't even planning to end my life jesus chris'

Gun pushed him slowly and directly locked his eyes on him "O-off it isn't what you t-think"

"huh?"

"i w-was just t-thinking some stuff out there and just taking a breath" he said and turned his gaze away

"H-huh, t-taking a breath at the ledge? a-are you nuts?" he unbelivably asked

"there's nothing wrong standing at the ledge i'm already used to it?"

"what do you mean?"

he sighed "i'm just wondering some stuff off" He replied

"So my hunch was right you got some problem" and gun's eyes grew when he just realized that he just spill the tea

"you are just being delusional off" and he turned around but off held his arm

"if something troubling you....you can tell me" he said whispered

"don't bother off it is nothing important." he took a step away from him but then off was too stubborn to let gun slip away so he followed him and stops him fort he second time then he made gun turn around

"tell me what is it while i'm still being nice to you gun ---

"why bother ? it's useless off"

"if it's about you it is important" he said and gun's heart skipped a beat again.He look at the latter's eyes and he saw how sincere off's eyes yet he's trying his best not to give in

'why off? why do you have to make me fall inlove ?'

"Gun if it's you i don't mind wasting my time listening to all your troubles, i don't mind to wipe off your tears whenever it falls from your eyes ,i don't mind to spend money to buy you a drink whenever we want to talk about stuffs and end up wasted with you....and i don't mind joining you from all events will happen on your life in ahead"

"Why Off?" he seriously asked

"what do you mean why?"

" why are you doing this" gun furiously said

"gun i don't get what you want to point out , just tell me directly what you want to say stop beating---"

"You're making me confuse with your actions every time you smile at me it's making me annoyed ,whenever you giggle i hate it and everytime you try to be sweet...it makes my knees weak, and whenever i'm trying to give all i can to avoid you" he locked his eyes on him "all you ever did was to mess it up, you ruined my system"

"G-gun i still d-don't get it" off said made gun sarcasticly chuckled

"how stupid can you be" he whispered and shook his head ....he took a deep breath

'i want to end this '

he pulled off's collar shirts and didn't have the second Thought to brush his lips against him making the latter eyes grew wider

off wasn't shock because the little guy kissed him but because how soft the latters lips is...how softly gentle he brushes hi lips he felt like he's kissing a girl . Gun is so attractive Guy he won't deny it he is too pretty to consider as a guy as a matter of fact he can be compare with a girl even though he is small.

However he didn't realize that the latter was catching some feelings at him it was beyond of his beliefs about the guy.

Gun pulled out from the kiss "Now you already know about my feelings i'm asking you to avoid me whenever are paths across, just think that we Never happened....because the futher we're together the longer i fall deeply into you, so do me a favor." he said and walked away from off...but it doesn't mean he walk away from off he's heart is still with him,he left his heart with off.

While Off is just staring at the figure who's slowly fading in his sight and hasn't still sinking what just had happened between them.

* * *

Days had passed and off did what he asked and he can't feel not to dissapoint at the latter even though he is already expecting it he is still hoping the guy would not listen by his complains and still treat him as a friend despite all and yet the guy was no where to be seen because it has already been 3 days and the guy is absent with all of their subject.

'you wanted it dumb so stop complaining'

Gun just let out a sigh and organized his things

"hey Gun i just notice that off isn't attending the class for the whole 3 days" Singto asked

"yeah i also noticed it is he sick?" new asked

"why are you asking me? it isn't like we're living under the same roof tsk" he avoids.

" well aside that both of you are always like two pease in a pod, you do have feelings on him so it's automatic that you know what is happening at him" Jane frankly said made gun eyes grew and he looked at singto and new but their facial expression aren't shock in fact it is just like a normal one

"w-what are you t-talking about---"

"come on gun stop biting the bullet you are already obvious that you have a feelings with off" new snorted out

"y-you are h-hillarious i would never have a f-feelings for him besides we are b-bot--"

"you are both guy? them what do you call about me and krist?" singto

"i mean off is straight as pole--"

" Gun it already came from your mouth and you don't want to admit it because you are scared by the fact that once you confess your love at him he might just reject you ...gun get something out of your system and if things didn't get well then go back to the drawing board and move on" jane replied

"it easy for you to say but you don't know how afraid i am'' gun seriously said new tapped his shoulder

"don't be afraid to throw the caution to the wind yet the ball is in you court gun not on us we are just encouraging you "

"i...i already confessed at him" he whispered and suddenly jane chocked because she was drinking her favorite drink...milktea

"YOU WHAT!?" They said in unison

"i wont repeat what i said" he said and turned his gaze away

"then what happened?" singto asked

and gun sarcasticlty chuckled " you know the quote " A snowball's chance in the hell"

"huh what does it mean?" jane whispered at new

"he means not a chance at all" he replied and jane just nodded

"so what do you mean not a chance at all...by any chance did he reject you?" jane asked

"honestly speaking? i don't know...."

"what do you mean you don't know?" jane

" don't tell me you didn't made him speak?"new asked

"w-well...it seems like that" he said and shyly rubbed his nape.

"you are so stupid gun!" jane furiously said

"hey you can't blame me besides he won't favor what i asked him to" he said

"what did you said'' singto

"i told him that just get out off my life and i don't want our paths to cross again ,and just pretend like we didn't happen"

"i know you are capable enough making desicions on your own but you are very wrong with this one ---you know what i want to swear at you but i'm too perfect to be a bitch and my beauty is like an angel instead suit yourself goshhh i hate it here imma gooo" Jane madly said and grabbed her bag and walked

"gun i know you're just scared but you just drop the hat you aren't still sure what might happen in the future if you only made him speak" singto

"“You can't stop the future,You can't rewind the past,The only way to learn the secret...is to press play." new

"what do you mean"

" he means if you just let him speak maybe it wouldn't turn out like this if you only didn't let your ego eats you considering that you do not have the idea what might happen in a head of us you should gave the benefit of the doubt yet you can't even bring back the time just to decide what you really should have done" singto explained

Gun let out breath And he wondered.,And the more he wondered, connecting about him and off, the more his heart collapsed.

* * *

Gun was staring at the cealing sorthing outh things , what if singto was right? that he should gave him a chance off to speak but no one can't blame him he know there's 99.9 % that off might reject him , when in matter of fact the guy is straight as pole ....geez this is driving him crazy.

He pulled out his hair out of frustation cupped his face

"what should i fucking do...god damn it give me a sign" he whispered.

Gun rolled himself in his bed and went under his blanket but a noise suddenly caught his attention and he found out it came from his cellphone. he annoyingly picked up his phone and it made him shocked when he found out it was off.

He clentch his shirt ,near on his heart because he got nevous and feeling giddy at the same time, he inhale and exhaled ang took a seconds before he answer the call

"H-hello"

'fuck,this isn't the right time to sutter gun ,pull yourself together'

(come down) off said made him confuse

"h-huh"

(i'm at infront of your house and within a minute i want you to bring your ass down here) he seriously said and gun suddenly rush toward the window and off wasn't kidding he saw the guy leaning like a model on his car while looking at him .

"w-what are you doing here?"

(no more question just do what i said or else) and he ended the called didn't gave gun an opportunity to respond.

he went at the mirror to check himself and went down ,rushed towards the window . he took a deep breath and release it.

He slowly walk open the door and took a step forward to off, but the latter suddenly walked and pulled him into a tight clasp made his eyes grew and he can easily hear off's heart beating so fast

"Most of my life, I felt alone. Even when I was with people. That was until I met you. I-i tried to run away... but the further i go, the longer that i longed for for you. The longer I deny it, the more you eun through my head. I tried to get you of my system, but I just found myself drowning in the shallow of lies, and I don't want to keep on being a fool" Off said, as Gun pulled out from the hug.

Gun won't deny it his heart is pounding over flowing by the latter's flowering words but he isn't that dumb not to doubt it. Maybe the guy was just confused by his feelings itself about him, maybe he was just too scared that he might lose gun..

"Off you do not know what you are talking about maybe you just felt pity about it. You don't have to return this feelings of mine ,you don't have to worry about it this will fade sooner just give me some space" Gun said and was about to walk away when off stops him by running away through holding his wrist

"Gun the day you kissed me at the rooftop it was wonderful and ---"

"Then why did you choose to remain silent that day?" he cut him off

"i..i was fucking coward that time but i don't want to keep it by myself anymore thinking that i'm losing you ...thinking that you might meet someone else in future who's enough to make you smile...to make you happy,it's killing me" he seriously said

"not good enough" gun said

"i'm afraid gun"

"ain't enough"

"how can i make you believe? how can i make you stay ..what else is there" off desperately said ,gun let out a sigh

"The true reason i should stay right where i should rather be and not the door of our house where once i step on it everything will fade" gun turned around and face him " Three words, Eight Letters...say it and i'll stay and i'm yours" he said with hopes in his eyes

Off didn't waste any seconds he pulled gun's naped and press his lips against gun's and made the little guy shock he wanted to pull away from his kisses but he found himself drowning by his kisses. Off felt gun wanted to lose by his grip so he wrap his left arm around his tiny waist and pulled closer. he tried to press his lips together yet off bite his lower lips which made gun's lips apart.

Maybe time stopped when his lips met his, but the flutter only intensified. Gun’s heart pounded in his chest as his knees got weaker. he could only focus on how gentle and soft he felt against his mouth, how addictively he invaded all his senses.

It still wasn’t clear if he dreamed this moment to life, but there was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around his. Off kept his eyes half open, sneaking a guilty peek at his every time.

He wasn’t sure if nature rooted for this moment or if his mind tricked him into a perfect present, but every breath he took smelled like jasmine and for the first time since he’d known himself. If anything, the warm feeling of gun's breath, although destabilizing, was inviting.

They both pulled away when they out of breath and locked their eyes at each other. Off rest his temple on his and closed his eyes...

"i love you gun...i'm inlove with you,i've tried to killed it , to run away from it but i can't and i don't want anymore" he said and locked his eyes " and thinking about you walking away from me is the hardest part ,even you don't want i'd make you stay"

"but off we are both guy a-are you---"

"I love you gun, so what the fuck? why bother to think what other people may think about us? they are not us they doesn't know our story"

Gun's heart is pounding, no words can describe about what he really feel know ...it was priceless and honestly speaking everything hasn't still sinking on him . He never dreamt this moment he never hoped yet fate has a plan for him and it seems his spring is full of joys.

"O-off.."

"Gun will you let this dumbass to claim you as my person?" he whispered underneath his breath

gun's lips curved upwards...a genuine smile "i'm yours" and they sealed their promises into a kiss.

'I never believe in love at first sight , i wasn't fan of romantic stuff but in a strange twist of fate i met a cheerful transferee guy from thailand who stole my heart. We were just a stranger, who turned into a friends secretly catching some feelings and now...he's my man. My man i never dreamt but fate gave him unexpectedly who would join me through ups and down , someone who will wipe my tears away,and he's name was Off'

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the next update, i'll update once i finished composing the chapter ,vacant time as well. Khub Phun na Kha ＜3
> 
> for more follow me on my twitter account : @mrsphsnts ( to read some filo au's)


	3. Self Less

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**In giving up what we had**   
**And letting go of your hand**   
**I gotta let you know**   
**That I need to let you go**   
**It's hard to say goodbye but I can't run, no**   
**I'm ready to let go**

* * *

  
Days, months and years had passed, the unexpectedly love story bloomed for a long, fights came, struggles passed and promises happened.

Who would ever think a story began only with a simple glimpse who starts to catch some feelings. The Guy who never believes in Love at First Sight Met his Greatest Love. Gun Could not ask for anything anymore Everything seems meant for them both. Their Parents even accepted them, both side

Off and Gun have already passed many paths and they remained strong, Holidays Spents together even birthdays. A perfect relationship everyone could ask for

But then...

One day off became so distance. Gun didn't want to give it meaning so he chose to let off but as the longer, the Guy stay away from him the further he became.

Gun tried to bring back like how they used before,he became extra sweet , which he barely do before...He did everything but off remain the same . He wanted to ask the latter about it but he's afraid off might get him wrong...thing's might turn complicated

But the day came that he feared...

Off came into his condo unit unexpectedly and he told he will talk about serious matter. On the other hand gun thus far got the idea what might happen but he chose to play innocent, call him bummer or what but he is.

Off and Gun are both silently sitting in the couch while staring on the blank wall in Gun's condo living room. Wondering about everything they've been through within 6 years, will unforeseen vanished with a glimpse

"Are you tired'' Gun suddenly uttered, to break the ice inasmuch they remain silent since off asked to slip away

"I'm not...I'm not happy anymore" he replied, tears suddenly formed into gun's eyes

"W-what h-happened? It's just I find it strange... we w-were just both happy yesterday but now...what a perfect twist of fate " Gun unbelievably said " Is there something w-wrong with me?''

Off turned his eyesight at him but he regretted it. Seeing gun in tears it's making him fall apart . He wanted to wipe those tears away , like he always used to do ,however he doesn't want to give a false hope on the latter one

He sighed

"I know it may sound cliché, stupid lines that we always often hear in movies or series ... It's not you ,it's me. It's me the one who got sick. It feels odd that i don't want to hold on anymore in this relationship, and you don't deserve that gun" and he turned his gape away from gun

'' b-by any c-chance... is there someone'' he asked and off chuckled

"Relationship's always end up because of that bullshit third parties, nonetheless ...i aprised you before all else ain't one of them..you know that gun i will forthwith tell to you if i fall out inlove , i never lied at you never . I've always been honest with you at the outset.I don't have one...for now"

Gun looked at him sadly '' then...what made you gave up ?"

Off smiled at him bitterly "i have no idea , i can not give you the reason you deserve for now but all i know, i woke up one day feeling odd and descover that i just want to explore new stuff in love. I want to fall inlove again with a different story, different protagonist...something new . i want to slip away all of sudden"

"so you got sick of me?"

'' I Never got tired of you , not a chance ...it's just our relationship who made me sick and i'm not happy as before. We were too comfortable at each other, we know how to understand each other , to comfort and something. we may not argue most of the time even so that's what making our relationship odd. We don't have the connection,the spark ,the thrill. We aren't even opposite , and viceversa to those other relationship, they might argue most of the time, facing circumstances and so on but that's the rule ,And we are not part of them"

"how can you say , pointless"

"i know because i actually do"

Gun suddenly stand up from the couch and walk towards the window and face the fresh air coming from it.

"Can you give me atleast an acceptable reason? owing to the fact ain't sufficient" he said without looking at him

''as i said , i want to explore new things , i want to fall in love again with someone new, discover some affections that i haven't felt before" he said and Gun sarcastically chuckled

"bullshitness" he mumble "Off...you just don't love me enough to make you retain in our relationship" he replied at him and stared at him

"i do love you ...but it isn't same as before i don't know how things have change but i don't want to carry on it anymore"

"Aren't you just confuse?"

"I'm not gun"

"then why?" he hopelessly asked

"i..i'm sorry"

"you don't have to apologize off. Feelings evanasce on the spur of the moment, and you didn't mean it to happen yet even i want to hold you back it'll be selfish of me and i don't want to make you stay in that way" he bitterly said

"You deserve it gun, even so but you don't deserve me since i'm not good enough to be abudant for you"

"You were enough off, you didn't just aknowledge it" the atmosphere sudden became quiet for what he said , making off to release a heavy sigh

"Do you stll remembere our story?" Gun break the ice

"How can i?" he replied and as the cold wind blows as the memory 6 years ago flashes on their head.

* * *

  
"We had sweet love story" Gun started " It was a sudden affection i felt for you . I didn't believe in love at first sight, word stops for a while like a slow motion and other stuffs. Nevertheless i felt those emotion when you step in at our classroom and i was sitting at the back across the door then my heart skipped a beat for you. It was hard for me to accept at my system that i fall inlove with a guy but then..." he wipe his tears away "...i just love you so much that i conquer everything " he said

"You must resent me a lot right now" off said and his head stooped down in guilt,but gun slowly shook his head while He sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"how can i off?" and off turn his gaxe at him "How can i hate the person who made me happy?who taught me what love is? Every moment i spent with you shined, considering the weather was good, in as much the weather was bad and because the weather was good enough, i fell inlove all over again because of that moments. So tell me off how can i hate the heartbreaker if it is you? I love you even i wasnt't good enough" He said sorrowfully while his heart is falling apart

"Gun...i'm sorr--" A tear drop from off's eyes

"in spite of that this will pass...It may take a long time before to heal this heartache but as long i know as well as you'll find the happiness you deserve the joy you'll search to the one you will spend your life for...i know it would be worth that i let you go" he sniffed and wipe his tears away using both of his palm and genuine smiled at off "do you still remember my vow?" he asked at off and he just nodded as an answer due he lost his words

Off felt guilt , he doesn't desesrve to hurt gun who loved him unconditionally who joined him through thick and thin, who took care of when he was sick and the one he relied when he was at the edge of troubles...who pulled him back and hug him ,told him how he treasure the guy

off love gun but things aren't same as before he doesn't want to fool his self anymore and gun as well even he tries to bring back everything like the old days...it is already impossible

"You're success is my success, You're pain is my Pain, You're Happiness is my Happiness, You're sorrows is mine as well because i love you and loving you means eternity and i vowed to join every journey you'll face even if it's going through rough time i'd still stays beside you , i will die first before to leave you hang in" Gun said and they both burst into tears as they heart crushed

Gun lift his left hand and slowly reach off's face to wipe off his tears " i told you i hate seeing you in tears because you look so awful" and he chuckled "even so..." he cupped the guy's face and locked his eyes on him "There's only one thing i want to ask for"

Off looked at him seriously " Let me Hold You while you wait off, i want to take care of you until your greatest love come, i want to show you my love before your the one love you beyond and i want to take you to her until the end" Gun said

"Gun" but gun sealed him with a kiss , _a sad kiss._

* * *

  
"YOU DID WHAT!?'' white furiously said, his cousin.

Gun is presently at His cousin condo , and he told everything happened because he have no one to share his thought

"Are you fucking kidding me gun? The heck i'm so ashamed to be your cousin,seriously are we really related to each other? because i'm not stupid as you! what are you trying to be? The greatest support character who played martyr?"He sarcastically said

"Can't you just atleast cheer me up ,i didn't went here to listen by your naggs" he said and his cousin sarcastically chuckled

"And what do you want me to do? to jump because of happiness? should i organize a party for you to celebrate your freaking dead heart ?"

"white..." gun uttere like was about to cry . White release a sigh

"I'll be back just hang there, i'll get you drink" and he left his room and went to the kitchen to get some beers, on other hand gun release a heavy breath

Gun knows it is a desperate move, but no one can blame him he just love off so much that he can let the guy alone while he's searching for the greatest love of Off and he promise that he will never leave the side of the letter

Anyone might call him martyr, stupid , and whatsoever . He's just a human who's loving a person searching for his the one, and for gun ,off's happiness is the only one matter here . He'd rather be selfless than being selfish for forcing him to stay. It is already enough that he felt how to be loved by Off

White give the beer to Gun and he accepted it, his cousin sat besides him

"But why so sudden?"

"3 Months ago off slowly became distance and i noticed it but i choosed to remain quiet about and played innocent thinking that he might having some troubles and he's doing his best not to caught but i was wrong with that though i never knew that impossible things..could actually happen instantaeously" And sipped on his drink

"you should've Fix it instead of letting him go"

"You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now." he meaningfuly said

"That's rich of you,but i Don't still get it why will you bother to make yourself look like a fool when someone can love you than he did? it ain't satying for---"gun cut him off

"He's worth staying for we were just not really meant to last for a lifetime , and i just love him so much even if it's hurting me i will still take the risk for him, i let him go spite of his happiness"

"bullshitness ,you are nuts" he said and the atmosphere suddenly became quiet only the noise coming from the open window where you can hear the rhyme of cold wind blowing and the commotion from outside...minutes had passe the small guy break the ice

" i don't have the idea where i went wrong? I thought he was okay Time passed , so i thought he put everything behind his. but he still remember everything our monthsary special days and so on, i thought everything was alright but he was already having a hard time to profess about what he really feel about me " and he stare on his bottle "Do you ever feel like you're not the protagonist of your own story like you're just the supporting character and whoever plays the role, it doesn't matter. The story will remain the same inasmuch the plot has been written and it just so happened that you've the only one available to play the part even so it isn't yours" and his chin began to trumble ,white patted his shoulder

"h-have you already told him---"

"White there's no point to let him know about it besides i won't use that excuse to let him stay you know what i hate the most, that's so pathetic...i don't want anyone feel sorry for me...besides he will have his own life sooner or later there is someone who will look after him"

"but gun he have---"

" I don't want to talk about it please white i'm trying to forget it for awhile " he begged and white just nodded and put his cousin's head onto his shoulder

_'someone asked me if i have to choose between Love and sad what it will be, and i chose sad love instead. I never thought it could actually happen to me...love that i thought would last forever has finally set and there is no way to rise again'_

a tear drop from gun's eyes.  
___________________________________  
Gun is silently sitting at the bench while staring at the sky and connecting the stars above, but he can't aligned them anymore as their story has no chance to be aligned again.

a figure suddenly sat besides him reason to caught his attention and he found out it was off genuinely smiling at him

"how are you?'' he asked

''how did you know i'm here?'' he confusely asked off turn away his

''white called me that you already told him everything and about our compllicated situation as well" gun's eyebrow aligned

"You haven't still answered my question, i said what are you doing here"

"we've been together for whole 6 years gun, of course i know everything about you, thus what are you expecting?" off stares at the sky above " i can still remember ,i'm the one who taught you to look at the stars whenever you're down considering it can bring peace in your life instead standing at the ledge and posing as free bird, you were a risk taker but...i happen and pulled you from everything " he sadly said on the last part

gun looked at him, his heart ache's once again ,as tear drops from his eyes

'it's funny that the guy who used to make my heart beat for countless time , is the reason why my heart shattered into pieces' gun sarcastically thought

as the stars above sparks, a memory came back into gun's mind

* * *

  
**FLASHBACK :**

They're both leaning on Off's Car and gazing at the sky . Off's Left hand is inside of his pocket while his other hand is playing with gun's hand.

"I've never seen so many stars in the sky" gun suddenly uttered

"Hmm...and so do i?" And they chuckled "Gun.."

"Hmm?"

"Shall we wander around more?" Off asked

"Let me guess, you don't want to go home yet?"

"It isn't like that ..." He reflutes

"Have you had fight with your parents?" Gun said and faced him then directly locked his eyes at him

"No..not really " Off let out a breath "It's just you know.."

"What?about us?"

"No no of course not you know that they accept our relationship wholeheartedly it's just"

"Then what?"

"I'm just not an ideal son for dad" he sadly said " i feel sorry that i always end up dissapointing him, I wanted him to trust me, despite anything he'd heard. And more than that, I wanted him to aknowledge me. Not the stuff he thought he knew about me. No, the real me. I want him to stop comparing me with my siblings i don't want to be the blacksheep anymore, i don't even want to be his pride and neither i ,i just want to be his son...a father and son. " gun held his face

"Hey That's not true, you're the best" Gun cheered up "He loves you, no parents doesn't love their child ,maybe he doesn't know how to show it ,maybe he just want only good for you, but believe me he loves you in every way" Gun sinceirly said "I think i get it now" he smiled and looked up in the stars " you want to be bright as the moon but feel s though . You're just a star as as a dust particle, is that it?"

Off shruged "yeah...you can say that" and a moment took by silent and the older decidedd to break the ice " however do you know t isn't a good analogy, those fixed stars whereas the moon is a natural satelite , the star may look like tiny dust particles but most of them are much larger than the moon both mass energy-wise---" off catch sight of gun who's looking at him unbelivably

"tsk"

"that is why people talk shit about scientist , yeah that is" and he rubbed his nape out of humilation

"i think it is a good analogy" gun uttered

"huh?"

"you are the star over there "he pointed out the star who's sparkling as a crystal itself " the one that looks as a tiny dust particles , a fixed star that is much bigger than the moon , so don't run away anymore .... I'm sure your dad will realize it eventually like i did, so cheer up " gun said

The corner of his lips curled up , he reach out for gun and pulled him closer and tightly hugged him as he bury his head "thank you for building up my courage " he sinceirly said , gun giggled

"well...i think that's the rule as your...faen?(boyfriend in thai)" he said and off chuckled

"cuttie little mouse" he said made the latter face turn into a frown

"Hey take it Back"

"nah , i don't take back what i mean" and gun hitted his arm made off hissed but a chuckle escaped from his lips after it made gun rolled up his eyes.

Suddenly silence reigns as they both seizing the moment and admiring the beautiful view from above,Off remember something.

"Gun can you do me a favor"

"mmm?"

"do you still remember the scenario at the rooftop when i saw you standing at the ledge where you were about to throw your life----"

"i told you i wasn't planning to end my life dope" gun hissed and pulled out from the hug

"then what were you doing there"

"how many times do i have to tell you that i was just taking a deep breath ang..sorting out some things" he blurted out

"How?" he asked and gun sighed

"i don't since i was young i got used climbing up onto tree ,roof and other dangerous stuff. It feels like i'm free and i can be whoever i am" he confessed

"i see...but can you don't do that again?" he favored

"what?"

" i don't want you to risk your life like that you don't know what might happen you can missedly step out nor what"

"but i'm a risked taker"

"and i don't want to lose you" he senceirly uttered made gun lose his word and he slowly turn his sight at him and so off. The world seems stopped for a while as their gaze locked at each other , the cold wind blows and the stars shining like diamonds at above as their hearts beat as one...

Off softly reach for both gun's hand and trail his thumbs through it, at a leisurely pace brought gun's hand onto his lips and softly planted on it.

" My Love are arelike the stars and wind and wind, no matter what happen, where ever you go you can always feel it, you can always see it and it will only shines for you. I'm the one who turn you're troubles into a peace ,considering stars will never judge you , starts will never leave you....and stars is the symbol of our love because we are aligned for each other, and it is the universe command" he said and did'nt gave him an oppurtunity to speak nonetheless he sealed his lips against him and as off vow to gun the stars witnessed it

_'If we are really alligned for each other , then i'm asking a permission from the universe that fate won't take you away from me, because i finally found my home on you'_

* * *

'tell me off? how can i look at the stars as same as before when everytime i look at it, it only brings pain in me and not the peace and joy you taught me throught over it? you once said we are aligned for each other but it seems universe didn't heared my prayers to not let fate take you away from me...because as the time goes by the further you walk away from me.'

"we aren't aligned for each other " gun blurted out and off looked at him

"gun..."

"The day you asked me not to do my bad habits anymore i obeyed your favor , not because i love you but because it really helps me a lot everytime i'm having troubles and you are away for your bussiness trip , i'll just lift my head at the sky and admire the stars who's shining and reminds me of your love and as well you" the sweet smile escaped from gun's lips turn into bitter and a tears formed on his eyes " and i didn't regret it until now and i will still look at it with joy and smile"

'no.. that was before off, i'm sorry if i'm lying to you inasmuch i don't want to make you worry anymore, i can not tell you what i really feel , i don't want to show pain that you caused me ... Eventheless all i want is to see you smile, the smile i used to love when you were still inlove with me, this is your story where you'll search for the other part of your heart while i'm the fake Protagonist'

"G-gun i-i'm sincerely sorry" Off said and like a bad habit whenever he felt guilt,his head stooped down. Off is already lost with words and he really feel guilty at Gun for the pain he cause him yet ,here still the guy ,sitting besides him and smiling at him even though it was fake,off knew gun was trying to hide his aches ....because gun doesn't really want him to felt guilt at all.

"Why are you sorry? It isn't something like you really wanted to happen. Your Love just fade away ,we are just meant to meet but aren't for each other. That's Love off , There's always one who'll get hurt while the other one will get tired....Life doesn't always end with a Happy Endings,there's no thrill if it is." Gun said

"But why would you still bother to stay by my side gun while i'm searching for my the one?that is totally irony"

"Because i want to see you smile for the last time" gun said and a moment took by silence

"L-last time?"

"Come'on off, i can't Be inlove with you until you get married, i need to find the one who destined for me, after i accomplished my mission i promise i'll get over you cau'ze i can't even guarantee to see you settle down with someone. Therefore when the right time comes I want to face you with wholeheartedly heart that someone else own" Gun said and chuckled ,while off just nodded and gulped

"Off"

"Hmm?"

"When... When the search is finally over,take care of her huh? Don't hurt her ,Don't even make her cry , You should Love Her with wholeheartedly and i'm hoping this person will be your last, and aligned the stars for her" Gun asked and Off smiled then nodded

"I will"

"That's Relief"

_'Sooner or later there'll be someone who will join you for Gazing and connecting the dots at above, There'll be someone you will cuddle with everytime the wind cold blows,someone who is really aligned for you and that isn't me'_

* * *

They are both inside Off's car because The Latter insisted to take him home, Gun refused at first but Off insist and he didn't bother to argue with him and just agreed

The silence made them awkward , gun doesn't know how to start the conversation and off as well...but hours passed they remained silent until they reach Gun's condo

"Thankyou "

"no problem" and gun smiled

"Goodnight"they both uttered and made them chuckle and gun just shook his head , he was about to unbuckle the belt but it looks like it's stuck

'Fudge not now'

Gun use all his force but nothing happened , on the other hand off seemed to notice it and didn't think twice to give him a hand. As Off leaned closer to him made gun startled and instantly turn his direction at him but it looks like he made a wrong move , because they both stunned as they tip nose bumped and the few inches away could make they're lips brush at each other

They were like that for a minute "O-off.." he uttered reason for off to comeback from his sense and Off pulled few inches away and slowly smiled at him and locked his eyes at him

"i..i just realized it's been a long time since i was close like that at you and i kinda missed it, you were still cute as before" Off said and chuckled made gun hissed

"don't be amaze by my cuteness you might fall again" gun joked and off stops for what he said , gun noticed it

'stupid gun'

"gun---"

"Don't take it too serious hahaha i was kidding i don't really mean it , ahm i think i'll go ahead now because it's getting late and your condo it's kinda far away from so yeah night" gun said and didn't gave off an oppurtunity to reply by cause of he immidiately rush to get off from his car.

Off just sighed

'this is not good'

* * *

  
As Gun arrived at his condo he lean on his door ,he could hold the heartbreak no longer and he fell to the floor in a disheveled heap as his grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

however his eyes landed at a small rounded diamond around his ring finger, and he burst as he remember when Off gave this promise ring as he asked him to be his king in Prom Day

Gun slowly trace his finger on the ring as his emotion cross on his face, sadness, happiness, aches and fears

* * *

  
**FLASHBACK : 2012**

Gun can't help not to felt embarrased , everytime as he passed the corridor of the school , each student will smile at him nor they'll whisper something on their friends which gave an anxiety

'what's with people right now'

Nonethelesss Gun didn't gave a shit yet he just continue his way on their room or else he'll be late on his 1st period most of all the professor is a Terroe, but what made him confuse his friends are standing infront of their class while holding a white roses, actually each of them are holding a white roses

"what the heck is goin on?" Gun asked but his friends just mischievously smile at him which made him more confuse, they gave him the flowe one by one. "what are you all doing?" he asked for the second time around but they didn't still answered his question instead they pointed inside their classroom, out of curiousity gun just followed their lead

As he entered the room he got startled, his eye grew wider when all of his classmates are holding a card and inside of it's written "CAN YOU BE MY PROM DATE?"

"What are you doing off?" gun said and shook his head because of his boyfriend silliness suddenly jane went beside him and gave him a small piece of paper

'meet me at the auditorium'

Gun didn't waste any seconds and he rushed toward the auditorium, as go through passed the hallway some students are cheering for him, like they already had the idea why he's in rush

Finally after a minute he already reach the audi. He bend to hold his knee's because he's panting, after he took a breath he slowly pushed the door and stepped inside. Soon he entered the audi the room is dark , he scan the place to look for off but there's no sign of him.

After a second a spotlight suddenly lighten up at the stage ang he found the guy who's making his heart skipping abnormally and all the caused of these silliness...Off standing at the stage while holding a guitar and smiling sweetly at him, the smile he loved.

"hey little mouse, this is for you" off said and started to strum the guitar

"If ever you wondered  
If you touched my soul, yes you do  
Since i met you i'm not the same  
You bring life to everything i do"

Gun took small steps towards him with a sweet smile while, A tear tickled his cheek, symbol of happiness

"Just the way you say hello  
With one touch i can't let go  
Never thought i've fall in love with you."

Off step down from the podium and meet gun at the half away and locked his eyes at him

"Because of you  
My life has changed thank you for the love and the joy you've bring  
Because of you  
I fell no shame i tell the world it's because of you."

after he finished the last part of the song he immidiately wipes his tears away " did i do something wrong?" Off worriedly asked

"Dope! of course not , it's just i felt so overwhelmed from everything you put an effort" and the corner of Off lips curles "Off about your question--" off suddenly put a finger between Gun's lips, he didn't gave him an oppurtunity to finish his sentence

"Gun before you answer my question" off suddenly get something from his pocket and he found out it was a ring rounded by small shining diamonds

"Off...."

"Silly, this is only a promise ring " Off chuckled made gun face turned into tomato "Gun Can you be my date to the prom day?"

"As if i have a choice " he joked

"are you picking a fight with me?" Off asked with a frawn on his face made gun giggle and softly planted him a smack on his lips made Off stunned and turn his face onto soft one yet did his best to held his smile

"Do you think that will work" He asked and the small guy just playfully shruged off

"i guess?"

"well it actualy is" off said and pulled his nape closer to him and brushes his lips againt Gun, as off gently brush his lips on him , gun couln't help not to smile , Off as well, Off pulled out " so it a yes" and gun just nodded

as off slowly slid the ring into his finger "Gun as for now this is my promise ring that will be symbol of my love, every promises that i vow for you , symbol that you're the only one i'll love, because gun i can't picture myself ahead without you in my life you are the best thing happen in my life, i love you" he said as he completely put the ring on it, and gun hugged him tightly " i love you too" he whispered made the latter smile

_'The joy is inevitable between the two of us , After conquering everything' - gun_

* * *

"You told me this ring will be the symbol of your love , the symbol of every each of your promises but why it seems it lose it's value?" he sadly said

Gun get his phone from his pocket and scroll through his gallery

**_'Love 2012 prom'_ **

it is their actually first picture at the prom night, that was the most amazing day happened in his life that he spent with off

* * *

  
**FLASHBAK: 2012 Prom Day**

"Come on let's dance" gun kept insisting off to dance with him, but off kept refusing as well.

"For the nth god damn sake time, i told you gun i don't know how to dance and i don't want to!" gun felt annoyed by his boyfriend's action.

"Then why did you bother to invite me to be your date for the prom if you won't even dance with me? "

"Gun are you mad?" he worriedly asked, but gun shook his head

"I'm not, i'm just annoyed. dancing during prom night is the most exciting experience with your loved one, but it seems like i won't have that experience.." but then an idea something came up on his mind " i heared Jaylerr will attend the prom" He whispered and off seemed alarmed about that

Jaylerr knows being the most Popular and the boy next door and chick magnet even more some rumors flying that JJ Is planning to hit gun

Gun was shock when Off suddenly grabbed him at the middle of the dance floor and it looks like the situation became viceversa because of his boyfriend sudden gestures, i mean who wouldn't when your boyfriend will suddenly grabbed you and kiss you briefly....he felt unease, gun buried his face into his boyfriend chest while Off just hugging from his side

it isn't something like his ashamed at off stil they have to keep low key their relationship most of all not everyone accept the same sex relationship, homophobics are still laying around

"have you gone mad!?"gun hissed still burying his own face

"So what? you're my boyfriend at all"

"STILL!" he was about to answer him back but a sweet song suddenly played

_'You make me smile,_   
_take away all my fear_   
_you hold me real close_   
_when you wipe away my tears_   
_you love me for me_   
_and I’m thankful to have you with me'_

Off suddenly reach reach out for gun's hand "Shall we seize this beautiful moment?" and gun eye's landed on their hand and smile

'there's nothing wrong if i think it is only the two of us who's existing in this world for a while isn't?'

_'Soon enough girl_   
_I’mma give you everything_   
_i’ll get on one knee_   
_and i’ll give you this ring_   
_it symbolises our love_   
_it’s you and me for eternity_

“Shall we begin?” he nerviously asked

He smiled and nodded as he took his hand and twirled him into his arms.

They fell in step, letting the rhythm control their movements. All the scenery and people around them dissolved. It was him and and off, alone.

His Almond chocolate eyes glistened, and a smile spread across his beautiful face.

"i thought you don't know how to dance?" gun teased off

"A-a little p-practice won't be bad, i g-guess" a chackle escape from gun's lips considering his boyfriend being cute

_'You are my rainbow after the rain_   
_you are my medicine after the pain_   
_hold me close_   
_don’t let go_   
_and stay with me'_

Uncontrollable feelings surged through their bodies, and off's fingers tingles in delight. His hand brushed across his cheek. Off's body was acting on its own, no chains to hold him back from this pure paradise.

He drew him close to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around his neck.

His Brown locks fell over his eyes, like a curtain blocking out the lights. he desired to see those almond eyes.

' _When I hold your hand girl_  
 _i’m keeping you safe_  
 _i’m looking at your eyes_  
 _and all the details on your face_  
 _You mean the world to me_  
 _and i wanna prove that to you'_

Gun began to withdraw his hand to brush away his hair, but off's hand clutched onto him. Off carefully laid his thin hand on his shoulder. He delicately brushed off his bangs , and his chocolate eyes twinkled back at him in greeting.

His lips went to my ear as he whispered ever so softly.

“You know how to be romantic.”

"I can be romantic as you want"

"tch corny"

"hey i'm being honest" and they just chuckled but moments of later off suddenly became seriously "i think i'm falling inlove deeply" Off said made gun confused

"huh what do you mean?"

"I'm inlove with you but as the time goes by , the further we spent together and discover new things about you it amaze me and making me fall deeply in love with you and there's no way to rise out of it, i'm drowned by your love"

_'You are my rainbow after the rain_   
_you are my medicine after the pain_   
_hold me close_   
_don’t let go_   
_and stay with me'_

Gun set his head on Off shoulder. "I feel the same Off"

They continued to dance, too lost in the music to halt. Time passed as their feet moved in the steps of the foxtrot.

Gun brought his head up and sleepily opened his eyes. he leaned in and planted his lip on Off. He wrapped his arms around gun's neck in return and held him tight as the kiss continued.

_'girl close your eyes_   
_cause’ i want you to see_   
_the future i have planned for you and me_   
_hold me close_   
_don’t let go_   
_and stay with me_   
_and stay with me_   
_and stay with me.'_

**meanwhile...**

"They should get a room the heck!" New exclaimed

"I never felt so single in my whole life!!! " Jane dramatically said and bottom up her wine

"I think i should call krist, i'm so gay for this" singto annoyed uttered

_' i love you, it's because you are you, it's not a matter of a man or woman . If this feeling is because i love you, i'm not gay , it's because i love you who happened to be a man , i love you , not like other man' - Off_

* * *

  
Gun walked toward his table after he got a piece of paper and pen,he started to write on it

(Off x day 5

i don't really know why i'm writting you a letter or a poem , this became my habit after we broke up, still i want to write everything how i really feel....

_"Little by little your word disappeared._   
_Slowly all your promises faded_   
_I notice this faraway_   
_look in your eyes_   
_I don't know what to do anymore ._   
_Am i going to lose you after all?_   
_The sweetness and care that was always_   
_there in the beginning,_   
_is now buried in the bitterness of our_   
_hearts and minds_   
_Never to return to that first day._   
_I'll yearn for those whispers in the night._   
_Replaying our every story and every secret._   
_Until the tears are gone from my heart."_

\- Loving you, Gun)

A great sob escaped him, and he covered his face with shaking hands

In this heartache the sun won't shine, birdsong passes as if the melody can't glide through the air as it once did before. But the truth is, He'd rather forgo comfort than keep a lover who doesn't love.  
___________________________________  
Gun suddenly woke up from the noise coming from the door , he lazily get off his ass from his bed and get the door, however Gun rooted on his place as soon he open the door , he found his Friends standing infront his unit

"Jane , New , Singto what are you all doing here" he surprisedly ask

"Should we the one asking you a question gun? what are you doing?" Jane sarcastically asked while her right eye brow is rising

"h-huh" he played innocently said

"Don't put a show gun you know what are we trying to point out" Newwie furiosly said

"Godness gun we were just away for months and now something happen, which it ain't only a simple problem but a stupid one" Singto unbelivably said

they didn't gave gun an oppurtunity to respond Jane bumped her own shoulder on gun as she enter his unit like feel at home, the 2 guys as well leaving gun hanging his mouth.

'White i know you're the one start this, i won't even feel surprised if even he come home as well...you're a death meat white arghhh'

* * *

Off was silently siping his coffee while thinking about what happened last night, he's not that stupid not to notice the tears forming into gun eyes. He wanted to hug him but he can't . This is for their own good that's why he end the connection between them yet , their status is still complicated considering Gun's favor he doesn't really want to favor it but there's something made him agree , an odd feeling

He just shook his head and get up from the chair he's been sitting earlier and took a step forward at the Café's door but he's phone vibrate and he get it under his pocked and didn't aware about the girl walking across him who seems in rush and didn't also aware of him, therefore Off unforseen spilled the Coffee at the girl's white blouse, Reason for the girl to exclaimed

"WHAT THE FUCK !" And off was froze for a moment due to what happened, he was about to apologize but the girl gave him a death glare " YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL NEXT TIME SO YOU DON'T GIVE TROUBLES TO OTHER PEOPLE, _aish! jal saeng-gyeossji man meongcheong hae nangbi ya nal michige hae, babo!_ ( Good-looking but stupid, , it's drivinsuch a waste this is making me nut, stupid!!!) and didn't gave him an oppurtunity to respond as the girl walked out

"she's pretty yet...weird lika an alien geez" Off hissed " gosh she gave ma goose bump!"

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sawadee everyone! how did chapter 2 went? did you liked it? hope it is, i'm sorry if i took a long time before to update due to some activities in school , then something happen in our country but now we feel relief that some people survived through it, although i'll try to update twice in a week . Leave a kodus and comment to share your thoughts. Khub phun kha ❤
> 
> \- Euri
> 
> Stay tuned for the next update, i'll update once i finished composing the chapter ,vacant time as well. 
> 
> for more follow me on my twitter account : @heavenlyeuri ( to read some filo au's)


	4. Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me a little bit emotional while i'm writting this, thus i'm hoping that you'll like this chapter so please share your thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**"The worse about**   
**Loving someone,**   
**The longer you unable**   
**To get rid of what you feel**   
**The further you feel The pain"**

* * *

"Spill the tea" Jane started while she's sitting like a queen

"what!?" Gun annoyed said and sat across her

"stop the bullshit gun, don't beat around the bush anymore you know what are we trying to point out" newwie said who's sitting beside jane and singto as well who's silently observing him

Gun Remained silent ,he doesn't want to talk about it because he knows his friends will just nag him until he comebak to his sense...but nah that's impossible this time

However the silent of gun made Jane Irritated ,therefore she stand up and pick up the vase where place at the top of his Coffee Table and didn't think twice to throw it at the wall made them startled

Gun,New and Singto got nervous about Fuming Jane ,considering they know how Jane Get Mad which ain't good ,the last time they remember when she lost her control she sent someone at hospital and she wreck the Window Glass of Newwie that cost 45,000 .

Jane is shaking in madness and he swiftly felt he's a dog who should obey his master

"You know Gun how bitch i am when i get mad so don't test my patient" she threated him

"hehehe i-i *gulped* k-know" he said

"Good then, but i think we need a drink who agrees with me?" Newwie asked and they just nodded as an answer.

Minutes had passed newwie already have 8 cans of beer on his hand and he laid out at the coffee table, They get for their selves and took a sip

"So what happened?" Singto asked

"He told me he isn't happy anymore but he isn't tired of me and i'm keeping him while he waits for someone that's all" he said and laid his can at the coffee table and plays the ring in his finger

"Do you have no backbone!?Don't you resent him!?" Jane furiously said

"How could i hate him when it's obviously how much i love him, If you cut ties with everyone for all sort of reasons you'll be left alone in the end, that's why it easier to forgive than to be left alone" Gun said and turn his gaze away

"and what do you call on us Gun!?" New irritable uttered

"that's another thing " he mumble

"Gun he just obviously doesn't love you anymore so what are you letting him keep you even if you'll get hurt no matter what you do?" Singto said

"Is he stupid no-- is he a Bastard?" She Unbelivably said

"He isn't" as he defensed Off

"Stop defending him gun! don't be blinded by his love you don't deserve it gun wake up are you really that pathetic to get fooled by little game of yours. " New advised ,Gun instantaneously turn his sight at him and Sarcastically chuckled

" New i just love him truly and i'm not the typical person who would throw some hateful words and carry my anger until i felt satisfied, don't act like you wasn't on my shoes before . I may be the foolest person with worst situation but i'm not that narrow minded New , i'm not like you who still inlove with his first love but trying to dig from the past , i'm not yo---" Gun didn't had the chance to finish his sentence when newwie grabbed his colar shirt and the Singto and Jane got alarmed and part them away immidiately

"FUCK GUN DON'T YOU EVER DARE TO BRAG THE PAST HERE ! THIS IS YOUR'S NOT MINE SO GET THE FUCKING WAY OUT ON MY BUSSINESS!!" He Furiously said and trying to lose from singto's grip while jane is standing on their middle

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?" Jane screamed she move her gaze at New " Newwie i know you are still sensitive to talk about your past but this is not the right time to run out your patience! Our friend is suffering from a heart ache and our main job here is to make him back to his sense!" and she looks at gun "Gun Newwie is just concern he doesn't want you to make your self looks like a fool just because you love off! Gun we get it you love him but sometimes you need to look at the other side! Love isn't something you shall gamble everything you have, sometime you have to know the limits. You need to love yourself than making your self looks like a stupid who's waiting for star to fall! Gun stop being martyr---"

"Don't you think i'm not in pain? I AM JANE ! I AM BUT I HAVE TO KEEP IT AT MYSELF , I HAVE TO KEEP IT INSIDE EVERYTIME I'M WITH HIM BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM TO GET WORRIED , I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM GUILT YES I AM PATHETIC FOR ASKING SUCH A STUPID FAVOR BUT WHAT CAN I DO!?" and he burst into tears as his knees got weakend and he buried his face on his palms while shaking "what can i do Jane? he isn't happy as before and who am i to force this relationship just to make him stay! this is the only way i can be happy because i can be near at him even for the mean time despite this might end sooner! e-everytime i have to think that sooner or later there will be someone who will take care of Off and there'll be someone who will cuddle with him every cold season don't you think i'm not that insensitive ? there's a thorn in my heart jane but i have to bear it! but everytime i see how he smiles how his eyes twinkle talking about settling with someone don't you think i'm not forcing myself not to erupt infront of him!? i do jane i even have to make an excuses just to wipe my tears away. My world is slowly falling apart , i even aim to spend my rest life with him but the fate already took the chance all i can do is --- Jane throw herself to him , gun felt his shoulder got wet.

Her lips trembled as she cried "...a-all i-i can d-do is to pretend t-to be happy and a-accept the r-reality while l-letting go of his hand...h-his hand i used to hold and gave me warm"

"I-i'm s-sorry g-gun, i-i'm sorry if i w-wasn't considerate of what y-you trully feel" gun shook his head and hug her back as he shh her, gun knows his friends are just trying to comfort him but doesn't know how to so they lead to nagg him to comeback to since although even they're like that he loves them

"n-no ... don't be i- i know you just wanted c-comfort me , i- i should be t-the o-one." Gun swiftly turn his gaze at new who's looking at him with pain in his eyes like every moment a tear will drop " pui-i'm sorry new i-if i h-have--" new didn't gave an oppurtunity to finish his sentence as the guy pulled him for a hug

"just shut up gun you know how much we love you and i know that you didn't mean it" he said and they chuckled as they realize ho idiot looks they are, They'll cry and apologize after they fought

Singto sat beside him and he patted his shoulder "I'm admiring how brave you are despite of pain that you are going through , and i appreciate off as being honest of what he really feel because after all he still considerate of your feelings than keeping your relationship even if he doesn't love you as before" Singto said and half smile at him, but you can never fool gun.

Gun felt his friend is going through rough . He looked at him blank face and Jane and New seemed to notice it , the moment took by silence

"You're not ok.." He frankly said.

A Wistful Smile suddenly written in Singto's face , and a tear formed by his eyes "What will you do if the promises you made with someone turn into dust? and now all you can do is to fix the shatterd pieces or...to loose from the rope you've been holding for a long time"

_' Even no matter how hard you try to run away from the pain, even you hide ,The pain will still come across to you because it's inevitable further more even you ask to vanish like a mist fate won't let it. If you are meant to get hurt , you'll be no matter how you try to escape because it's certain to happen.'_

* * *

Off is silently sitting in one corner of the coffee shop while typing on his laptop, as usual his working his ass . In fact that is Off's daily routined it might sounds weird but would rather work his unfinished papers at his cousin's Coffee shop than at his comfy Office. It's just he feel relaxed in that way.

He sipped on his cup but it's already empty , He stand up and was about to walk forward at the counter to fill his cup when The entrance door suddenly open , a girl in lab coat wearing a blue blouse pairing a high waist pants with 3 inches blue stilletto stepped inside

Off felt the girl was familiar and it hit him when he realised it was the same girl he accidentally and not intentionally spilt the coffee. He observe the girl as she walk at the counter to order an Ice Coffe and sweetly smiled at the Cashier

'So she's a doctor? how irony'

The Girl walks toward a vacant Table near at his position and looks like the girl didn't noticed him considering the lady is focus on her cellphone.

A clever idea came at Off's head , He walks like a model so as he approach her and sat infront of her as if he didn't do anything wrong on their last interaction.

'let's put a little show'

The doctor lifts her head to look at the person who sat infront of her and she learns it was the guy who spilt the coffee on her blouse and she had to endure the shame because of the stain caused by the guy who's sitting in front her smiling like an idiot, that's why she got scold by their director

'The nerve! how could he smile like an idiot after he laid a stain on my blouse!?'

"It's you !? the dumb guy !" she exclaimed, the grin of Off suddenly turn into frown as he got insulted for what the lady called him

"Hey be careful with your word ! how could you call me dumb this handsome guy!" he mocked back and his eyes laid at the doctor's pinned id "Doc Lapassalan!?"

Milld immidiately hide her pin and glared at him . Mild felt her blood boils in frustation. She doesn't know why but even Off is doing nothing on her is already ruining her day, when in fact she isn't a person who gets mad easily nor irritate but with this guy there's something about him that she wants to punch those sweet smile writing on this Idiotic Guy.

"omo! i felt suddenly cold , maybe because you are too much high for yourself _babo_! (stupid)" she talked back

Off unbelivably hissed _"ya ! naega dangsin-eul ihaehal su eobsdago saeng-gaghabnikka? naneun bunmyeonghi hal su-issda!_ (Hey ! do you think i can't understand you? i clearly can!) " Off replied in bilingual

" _ahjussi.. d-dangsindo hangug-in-ieyo?_ (..you're korean as well?)" Mild unbelivably asked as her eyes grew and cupped her mouth

But off suddenly zoned out, he gesture his left hand and bring it infront of mild and get his phone to translate what did the Mild said " err can you say it again? i forgot to click the speaker"

"The heck aish you're so annoying ! " and as she get up as her order arrived in right time

"sorry mam if we ---"

"no you are just in right time and please thow away this idiot guy he's disturbing other costumer that's not good it may ruined your bussiness image please reach my report on your manager " she took the ice coffee and left the place leaving Off and his Cousin with open mouth

"S-she's really weird sometime" Arm utter made Off to csught his attention

"Is she regular here?"

"Who Mild? yeah she's actually's Alice workmate " as he talk about her girlfriend and Off nodded as an answer

"wait are you perhaps..." arm left hanging his word when hr realized "Bud don't tell me you are interested about Mild" Off raised his eyebrow

"O-of coure n-not i just found her unique,nothing else" he denies

' so mild is the name huh?cute

"That's relief, although i don't really agree about yours and gun's situaton this isn't still the right time to---"

"Arm i don't want to talk about it, this isn't easy either for me" arm just shook his head and clicked his tongue in disapproval.

Off just release a heavy sigh and get back at his work.

* * *

It's already evening and off is inside of his car , he just finished his work and his cousin is also about to close so he had no choice but to left the place. As he turning the steering wheel a two figure caught his attention , looks like a couple who's arguing at the middle of road. The guy is forcing the girl to get inside the car but the girl is trying to lose from the grip

Off isn't a person who stick his nose in someone else bussiness , but there something about there that he want to butt in between the couple

He swiftly turn the steerwheel at the couples direction and as he get closer by two figure he recognize the girl and it was Mild.

'The heck toey let me go i don't want to go with you!'

' No mild , we need to talk!'

'No i don't want we're already done , ahh you're hurting me let me go!!!'

Off didn't think twice to get out of his car and walk towards the couple and gently wrapped his arm at mild's waist made the latter rooted on her position

"My Grumpy what's going on here?" Off instantly said

"w-what a---"

"Just go with the flow if you want to escape from this guy" he whispered. The Guy looked at them with confuse face

"Mild who is he?" he said in annoyed tone

"Ow? you don't know me, well i'm Off Jumpol Boyfriend of Mild, do you got any problems with my girlfriend?" he asked

"Huh!?" she unbelivably uttered

"Yes . right My Grumpy Baby?" He said and enlarge his eyes to make her realised, and seems mild got it

"Oh yes!my babo nogachingu" and she link her arm at him and rest her head on his shoulder

"Mild what's the meaning of this!? " he furiously asked

"What do you mean?"

" It has only been a week since we broke up! you can't be in relationship with someone else at the next day.." the guy turned his gaze at off " Unless You've been doing some shits behind me---"

"i'm not like you. i'm most definitely nothing like your women, nor will i ever be like them and stop complaining if i already got someone and besides it isn't like i took our relationship seriously and it's partly your fault why we broke up!" mild exclaimed

"How do many times do i have to tell you that i didn't kiss her , she's the one who kissed me! i even pushed her away!" the guy explained but mild just shrug off

"Save your explanation for your ass i don't even care!, let's go! " she said to off and off cling his arm on her shoulder

"Did you hear what my girlfriend said , she doesn't care anymore so kindly just leave my girlfriend alone, i'm confidently possessive when it comes to things that i own so go away before i wreck your annoying face." He threated and guide mild to his car, leaving the guy dumbfounded

As soon they both got inside his car, Mild's Tears spilt over and flowed down to her face like a river escaping a dam.

"HOW COULD HE DENIES IT WHEN I CLEARLY STILL REMEMBER HOW HE PULLED HER CLOSE AND HIS HAND TRAVEL ONTO THAT BITCH'S BODY HUHUHUHUHUHU meongcheong-i, gaejasig, omanhago, geuleul yeosmeog yeola !!!! (jerk,bastard ,arrogant, and fuck him!!!!)" she mumbles and throw a tantrums again, on the other hand Off can't concentrate on driving considerate how loud mild are ,and it feels like any moment his ear drum will burst

"Didn't take it seriously huh?" Off mocked mild and mild gave him a death glare

"CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP , YOU'RE NOT HELPING" and she move her gaze away and came back to her world "HUWAHHHH HUHUHUHU I HATE HIM"She hissed

"such a weird girl" he whispered "Thankyou huh after i saved your ass there" he sarcsm

"But i didn't asked you!" as she talked back

"psh whatever" he surrender

"w-what were you doing there by the way" she shyly asked and off smirked

"Well, i was already on my way back home when..." he look at her for a second and back his gaze at the rode "Destiny brought me to you"

Her face turn into red and she can't stop her self and hit the guy's arm make him whine in pain "You're such a brutal!" he squabbles

"It is your fault duh! don't let your stupidity strikes hmph!" and pouted

Off chuckled by her little reaction, he find's it odd but he likes the feeling

"Where should i drop you?" he asked

"Ahm you can drop me over there , the parking lot of the hospital is just near ?" she said

"no what i mean where's your house so i can drop you safe and sound there" he explained

"and why should i trust you!?"

"well aside that i save your ass from your ugly ex, i'm concern that he might follow you after that ...beat me , you are a girl you can trust your instintct . some of people said that girl's insinct are mostly right so it's up to you"

"V-villa Corazon, i live on that village" she said and off just nodded as an answer

Suddenly silent reigned and no one dares to break the silent, however a word wanted to escape from the tip of mild's tounge...

"T-thank you" she mumble

"Huh what!?"

_"G-gamsahamida"_

"Louder!"

"I SAID THANK YOU , FEELING GOOD NOW!!!" She exclaimed and Off giggled as how the girl fumed in madness, but because she's getting prettier as the girl gets mad

"You're always high blood ain't good" he said while laughing

"Because you always making fun of me" but mild only got crowl as an answer

"How long were you?" Off randomly asked

"huh?"

"How long were you together?" he repeats.

"Hmm, almost a year "she said

" what did you like about him?"

" _molla_ (i don't know) all i know i've been liking him since high school and as years passed as our paths crossed then shit happens, Even though i know he's a cassanova i took the gamble because i like him however i thought he will change but it turns out that i was wrong for letting him enters my life because he just end up hurting me" and she wipes her tears as iit flows again

Off took his handkerchief and offered to her, mild look at it for asecond "just get it i hate seeing someone's crying and your nose is already running" he said and Mild gladly take it

"You know someone told me that he'd rather choose sad love than a happy one do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because if you choose sad love there's so many things you will learn about, yes it may hurt you ,a lot but it will teach you how to be stronger, how to be smart and lastly... you won't expect , you won't expect to have an happy ending with that someone over all there's nothing last for a life time" he said and a moment of silence reigned them.

"Some part i agree but...there's many thing last forever"

"like what?"

"like love" off suddenly lost his word and he release a heavy sigh

'love that there's no way to _rise again_ '

"If you trully love someone, no matter what happen even if both of you took a different paths, even if you met someone new, and even if she dies or alive you will still love that person if she's your greatest love because that someone gave a big lesson into your life, a big part and even if you die he'll be always remain in your heart" she said as she pat her heart.

"Yeah...that was deep"

"psh"

"We're here" Off said, mild look out and she didn't realize that they already arrive on her village

"Ahm just drop me over there, the white house there with brown gate" and off did what she said

"Thank you for dropping me off" Mild said

"No problem" he replied

"Then i'll go ahead no--" Mild suddenly pause when off extend his phone to her and mild look at him confusingly

"Number"

"W-what?"

"I said your number" he repeat.

"Hold up" she looks at him "are you interested with me?" mild frankly asked

'omo, i know i got the looks but gosh i can't believe someone fall of my charm'

"not...yet" and he smirk as he witness how red the girl's face "kidding " he takes back and mild pulled his hair making the latter bleat in pricking.

"YOU DUMBASS WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MIMICKING ME,STOP MESSING UP WITH ME !!!!"

"OH SHIT I'LL STOP JUST GET OFF , STOP PULLING MY HAIR!" And mild let go of his hair "brr that's wild" he mumble

and mild was about to get out but off held her wrist but then she immidiately take her hand back considering she suddenly felt an electric coming from the guy and she felt she stunned for a moment, on the other hand off seemed to notice about the latter's reaction, that maybe she got surprised by his sudden action

"ahm..give me your phone" off said and extend his phone

"What's that even fo---" Off cut her off

"Just incase that he gets back at you and bothers you, just call me" and he lock his eyes at her "and i'll come right away to save you from harm"

Suddenly everything goes quiet like the howling wind echoing throught the air then stop silence, that only you could hear her heart pounding ...and she founds it _odd._

* * *

  
As soon Off arrived at his unit he got startled as he saw gun coming out from his kitchen while wearing an apron who's smiling big at him but you can still see the tiredness from his eyes

"Hey, you're late" he starts and went to him to get his things

"G-gun what are you d-doing here?" he asked at the little guy as he follow him inside the kitchen

"Oh that? i just randomly felt to visit you and cook something for you, i'm sure you haven't still eating aren't you?" And sweetly smile at him, Off suddenly stare at him and Gun's smile started to vanish slowly "U-unless..---"

"You're right i haven't eaten yet , what did you got?" and he went to his kitchen's cabinet to get some plates and forks

"I-i cooked your favorite" he said lifeless and without looking at him

"Really? great then !" and off started to serve the food for them , however how dull gun is , he held gun's hand making the latter to pause from eating

"Gun you can't pretend to me i know when you are sad , what's bothering you?" he asked

Gun release a heavy sigh "i-i't's j-just ...i felt l-like y-you were just force to eat therefore i-i w-won't be dissapoi---"

"Gun i never lied at you ,when i told you that i haven't still eaten yet i haven't still.we've been together for 6 years you should know about me, should i sulk?" he tease , made the latter chuckle

"you're insane " and the room filled with laughter, just like the old days but the difference is ,they're not lover who used to fill every corner with love.

* * *

Off had finish to take a bath while gun is silently staring at Off's veranda

"Are you going to spend the night here?" off asked and gun looked at him surprisingly

"Can i?"

"Of course why not? it isn't something like you're just a someone else. You can sleep here beside it's already too late " and Off sat besides him, gun grab off's towel to dry his hair and off is already used to it so he just let him be.

"G-gun..." he suddenly uttered

"yes?"

"i-i told you that i just want to be honest with you right?" off suddenly felt gun stunned for a while and continue to dry his hair

'is this the beggining?'

"w-what is it?"

"i met someone" he begin

Gun's heart started to ache and a tears wanted to escape from his eyes bbut he doesn't want to break out infront of the guy , he knows where this conversation will lead to , gun sadly smiled "t-tell me about this person?"

"well , our first interaction aren't really that good, i accidentaly spilled my coffee on her and she got mad at me without letting me to explain my side" and off chuckled "She's a doctor and she's pretty cute however she's a little bit brutal but i found it cute, it feels odd but somehow it makes me happy and i won't deny she caught my attention. The way her forehead wrinkle whenever she got mad and her face is frowning he looks so cute hahaha--" suddenly off pause from giggling when he notice gun isn't moving anymore so he loooks at the guy and he saw a pain written at the guy's face "g-gun"

"H-huh?"

"i'm sorry---"

"don't worry about me off i'm fine , this is just new to me so you know ahm..can you turn around ,please" off doesn't want to obey him but he just did what the latter said and gun comeback from what his doing earlier as his tears started to flow from his eyes. Once again Gun's shred betrayed him , he silently wipped his tears

"G-gun honestly speaking y-you don't have to do this...stop hurting your self , how can you bear to witness ...that i catching some feeling with someone else while you're getting hurt. aren't you tired gun?" he seriously asked

gun smiled " I'm not off, when it comes to you i will never get tired. Yes i may be feel hurt but i know this will pass somehow...your happiness is only matters, and pain nothing mean for me if in the end i can see your smile again ,i'm doing this because i can't gurantee until when i will stay by yourside, so please let me make the most of it while i'm with you"

Off took by his words as he felt a thorn dig on his heart

'how can you be so selfless gun?you don't deserve this kind of pain, you don't deserve me'

"Are you happy?" Gun asked randomly

"what do you mean?"

"I mean , are you happy with these new feelings ?"

Off suddently went silent about the question . a moment took by silence. he was about to ask his question when gun suddenly stand up

"A-ahm i think i s-should go , w-white sent me a message he t-told me that he has something to s-say so i'll g-go ahead , s-sleep tight goodnight" and hurriedly took his phone without letting off to respond.

Just after gun close the door of Off's unit a tears started to fall from his eyes, as the tears flows down the further his heart clench because of ache

Just then when he realized That he can no longer move forth Each and every step they take them closer to their end ,And the hand he used to hold, seemed to vanish in the wind...

However gun rooted on his position when someone called his name, and he knew it was off.

"G-gun" he wipes away his tears before he face the latter and smile like nothing

"yes off, do you need something?" he energetic said.

Off slowly took few step forward to him, and when he finally standing infront him .

"Y-you got the wrong phone" he said and extend his phone and gun immidiately change their phones

"hahaha sorry about that i was in rush because whit maybe wait---"

"Gun he didn't send you a message" he frank.

Gun stunned, Off knows the password of his phone and for a while wondering some excuses, however Off close their gap and swiftly pulled him into his chest and hug him tightly

"I'm sorry gun, i know it was stupid move but i can't pretend anymore, i don't want to lie to you , i don't want to keep anything from you even though it may hurt you this the only way i can be true to you without fooling you , i'm sorry gun " and a tear raced down on off's face as Gun burst.

_'My love how did we went here? why do we need to get hurt? can we just still be happy for a life time? i should be happy for you, i do..but it seems this is the beggining of an end and i should be ready, no i'm ready to let you go'_

* * *

  
A month had passed, things happen briefly . Off and Gun are still in complicated situation however they're starting lose the communication aside that Off is busy with his work he and mild became lose and they always hangout every weekends.

Gun doesn't want to complain owing to the fact that he doen't have the rights to complain anymore...they're not lovers not friends either , just a complicated one.

He sigh, he's longing for the latter but he can't do anymore. Gun turned away at the other part of his bed. As gun zoning out his eyes suddenly land on his calendar at his side table

'time really flies so fast? how could i forget about it'

Suddenly a smile written on his face.

"Maybe he's planning something" he excitedly wondered. he immidiately stand up and went to his bathroom and took a bath, after he had finish he went to his closet to choose his clothes

He decided to wear a simple white hood that off gave him on their anniversary , and pair a skinny jeans.

After he get up, he picked up his phone and dialed off's number , and after a seeconds Off already picked up the call

(Hello?) off half sleep answered

"Hey off it's me gun"

(i know, that's why i immidiately answered ) and a sweet smile suddenly written at gun's face (how can i help you)

"A-ahm do you have any plans this day?"

(hmm now? not really why?)

"i was thinking if you can spend a day with me please" he plead, gun heared off release a chuckle from the other line

(Hahaha fine, should i pick you ?)

"No, ahm let's just meet at the park where we usually hangout" he said

(Ok then , i'll get ready now , i'll hang up) Off said and gun nodded as if the latter seeing him

"ok then"

(then)

"ah off"

(yes?)

"i'll wait for you"

(silly, i won't ditch you , i'll hang up)

"ok...i love yo---" Gun didn't had an oppurtunity to finish his sentence when the latter already hang up the call "how can you be so stupid sometimes gun?" he whispered.

he released a sigh and just get his car keys and directly went to his dastination.

_'Even just for now ... i want to be happy'_

* * *

Off is already on his way on , he just wondered that it's been a long since he and gun hangout and maybe there's nothing wrong if he favored him, however his phone suddenly rang and It was mild calling him. Off answered right away the call

"yes grumpy" his endearment on her

(....) no respond from the other line and he felt weird

"hey are you fine?"

(....what should *hick* i do hahaha)

"Mild are you drunk!?" he worriedly asked and mild giggled from the other line

(M-me ? drunk hahaha *hick* babo! i have high Towleeeranz in beer hahahaha)

"Mild where are you"

(me!? ahmm molla [ don't know] hehehe *hick* )

"tell me the details of that place"

( the place i-is filled of difewrent cowlord hiih *hick* beautifulllll!!!!)

"how could i know that"

( ha! i don't know either why are you asking me huh!) he shouted but then a few moment he heared some sillent sobbed

"Mild are you alright!?"

(...N-no, off you o-once told me you'll save me from t-the harm r-right? c-can you save me? m-my heart i-is in harm) and mild started to burst

"Mild just tel--" off didn't had an oppurtunity to finish his line when someone talk from the line

(A-ahm hello sir, are you dumbass)

"WHAT!?"

(A-ah that's what written here)

"what a brat" he whispered " yeah t-that's me aish"

( Can you pick up this person? she seemed so wasted and she's been since last night)

"What !? can you tell me the place"

(yes sir we're here at Hellium Bar)

"On my way" off said and hang up the phone, as he turn his direction on the other way as gun slipped from his minnd about their plans.

* * *

On the other hand gun is sitting at the swing while waiting for off. Gun hasn't still eaten yet because he wants to eat with off and be fulled with him

He lift up his head and look up in the sky and a mischiveous smile swiftly written on his face as he wonder what should they do until the rest of the day, should they go at amusement park nor should they eat on fast food chain like they used to do before

Just thinking about those thing an excitement tickld his heart.

In spite of that , 3 hours had passed but There's no sign of the latter and gun is already hungry but he was still waiting for the latter to show up

"Maybe he was just stuck at the traffic he won't ditch you gun , endure it for a while"

* * *

He immidiately rushed inside the bar , after he arrived he saw mild resting her head at the table, he took a big stepp forward to her but he got shock as soon he saw many bottles of beer at the table, he can't even count in his fringers

"How could she drink this bunch of beer,unbelivable" a guy in uniform suddenly came at them

"Excusme sir are you D-dumbass?" off's face turned in red because of humilation

"s-sort of" the guy reached him a phone and bag

"This is her belongings we were concern that someone might robbed her, don't worry sir we didn't touch anything"

"Thank you, how much everything" he asked

"107 569 thousand sir" the bar tender said which bring a horrified expression on his face "WHAT!?"

"ahm she took those imported drinks" he said and off just clicked his tounge and gave his crediit card.

After he paid the bill he carried mild like a bridal style considering she's a lightweight, He immidiately put her inside the car and started the engine of his car and drive to his condo

He completely forgot about _gun._

* * *

It's already 7 in the evening there wasn't still sign of the latter , and gun already lose hope. Once again his tears started to flow down on his face and he clench his heart who's starting to fall apart .

He just then realized that he isn't off's priority anymore he wanted to complain but who's him? Gun burst didn't care about the people who's passing by all he want for now is to cry out his pain

Why fate didn't let him to be happy just for once, is destiny really that playful? is it really too much to ask that even just once..just once he want to forget he's going through , to ease the pain, to fade away the sadness and to be happy just once...what did he do wrong? he felt shattered and sorrow and there's no way to cure the ache.

a great sob escaped from him and he bring his face on his saking hands

'i only wanted to spend my special day with him...but universe didn't let it slip away, Fate is already pulling them away

'Wind turn into a Storm that moment a gust wind suddenly blew in from somewhere. i thought the wind was a blessing but then that gust of wind was not a blessing later on the wind turned into a scary storm that destroy my heart and turn into piece'

* * *

  
Off immidiately put mild on his sofa, he just decided to bring at his condo considering her house is too far compare to his he was about to get some water for the latter when he heared some sob coming from the girl and he right away rushed to her and he was right the girl seems awaken and crying

"hey are you alright" he asked mild suddenly sit up and off support her

The latter hug her knees on her chest and rest her chin on her knees

" what would you do if someone important to you suddenly vanish like the wind" she saddly said

"what happened" mild wistfuly smiled at him

"There's this patient of mine, he became a big part of my life he had a sweetest smile, his laugh is like a music he was a very brave person despite that..." and her tears started to stream down "d-despite that his life is in the matter of death becuase his suffering from leukemia. He's been having a treatment for 2 years and he was so positive that he will get cured he told me he need to be cured because there's a certain person who's making him alive that's why he's been fighting his ill despite that he's situation getting worst but then...one day he came to me and told me he'll stop the treatment considering there's no hope for him to live anymore like he's been aiming for he'll just live his life to the fullest until his time came and do you what's the worst part he said ? If he really meants to die ...when the time comes that he needs to go to his unveiling fate he'll gladly accept it. He can be still treatend there's still the chance but he gave up i can still cure him i still want to see his smile...but he gave up" Off pulled mild closer to him and patted her head to ease her feeling somehow. He realised that despite of her brutal attitude she has a golden heart when it comes to her patients

"sometimes even if we wanted to win the battle for that thing, we can't do nothing but to accept the unveiling fate, to accept the reality and the what meants to happen even if they doesn't want to hold onto it anymore , we can't do anyting but to set them free rather than to gave them a false hope ...we can't force it because they might just get hurt at the end . We're just human mild and it's beyond our control to make everything remained how things we want." Off said and mild lift her head

"You can say good things somehow" and off just hissed " you know you helped me somehow to ease this pain, even you are annoying most of the time ...i'm liking it" she sudden profess " you're annoying face of yours lift up my day " she suddenly reach his face "and because of your stupidness made my heart flutters...i think i-i'm slowly falling inlove with you ...nan..joaheyo" and she slowly close their gap ,and off gladly met her's

As she brushes her lips on him as gun's heart turned into pieces because of what he just witnessed.

Gun decided to visit Off because he can't bear to end the day without seeing him, because until the day he'll step forward way to him,but it seems he needs to step back because someone is already walking to his home, and that is not him.

Mild pulled away from the kiss and suddenly fall asleep, which bring a little smile on Off "silly girl" he whispered and gun heared it and for the first time the smile he's been longing for has finally happen. He saw him smiling again a true one.

Gun slowly close the door and turn around to walk away and

'Tears hide in my heart,Memories are getting erased.Our unfinished fate,Is stopped here,Even if we live in longing tears It’s like the scattering wind So I try to find it But it’s like an undiscoverable path. I can’t hold on To the distancing fate So my heart is letting you go . When the sun sets You will disappear So I’m going to place you in my eyes When darkness comes .I have to forget you I need you let you go like this. With your footsteps that leave me  
The tears that I held in, spill out It’s like the falling flower petals I mourn for you Because we need to end it like this...my love i'm finally setting you free'

* * *

Gun is silently sipping his drink while staring at the emptiness. However suddenly paused when a sad song suddenly played , and how irony the song it's exactly of how he feel

_(Do you remember when we felt so in love_   
_We had everything, what happened to us?_   
_Suddenly you changed, things weren’t same_   
_Things were different, especially the smile on your face)_

'who the fuck composed this song? it hits me!'

_(I want you to know no matter where you are_   
_If you need me I will be right here_   
_...for you.)_

Off sudenly came on his mind as how the song smoothly but with sorrow delivers the message of itself.

_(I wish the best for you_   
_Just know you’ll have a place in my heart...always_   
_I want you to be happy_   
_I’ll be okay, although I wish you would’ve stayed with me right here in my arms )_

' right...all he can do is to be happy for him, even it feels hurt he can do nothing to accept it, he believes that one day he'll be ok ,he'll be fine and he'll be genuinely happy for him, even though they didn't last forever

( _But now you’re nothing more than just a friend_  
 _You’re nothing more than a friend_  
 _I’ll be here for you till the end )_

'Even they're only friends he's already happy, because he can't force anymore . yet And if you’re happy with her i won’t insist no more,All I wish for her is to Never make you cry And to take care of you because that's only matter even if i'm not the one who'll take care of you,not anymore.'

_(The way we used to kiss, the way we used to laugh_   
_Oh I really miss everything we had_   
_I miss you)_

he burst as their memory they've spent together flashes, he can't believe that those memories will only remain as a memory anymore and there's no chance to happy anymore , even if he's longing for his warmth he can't do anything , maybe this is totally their end fate has finally set them apart because that how should happen

He was about to sipped his bear when suddenly someone grabbed his wrist to stop him from drinking

 **"I finally found you..."** a familiar voice echoed to his hear, he slowly lift up his head and sorrowfuly smiled at him

"It's been a while  
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 _Oab..."_

'it's funny that all of people he'll end up crying on him, and he'll end up relying on him even he knows he'll hurt the latter once again'

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how did it went? Did you liked it? Did you cry? because i did ,Oab finally entered the scene, what's going to happen next? what happened to mild and off? stay tuned leave a kudos and comment to encourage me! i'll update once i finished composing the chapter ,vacant time as well. Khub Phun na Kha ＜3 keep supporting me until the end.
> 
> for more follow me on my twitter account : @heavenlyeuri ( to read some filo au's)


	5. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt so hurt while writting this, you might find it weird that the author itself is crying over her Fiction. I'm really into with my story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**The sun sees the moon sleep all day. so it neglect the moon who only wakes late in the night. The moon is alone late in the dark night .**

**It faces the darkness and shines on the world . The sun doesn't realize how hard that is .**

**The moon is always by the sun's side, protecting it.**

* * *

"I finally found you " he whispered at him , gun slowly raised his head to look at him, he doesn't have to guess who it is,because aside off, there's always a certain person who always run to him everytime a big burden trouble him and that was Oab, a person who loves him the most but he end up tearing this person apart but despite of that the guy never leave his side

"It's been a while, oab" he mumble ,oab bend his other knee to level him and pulled him to his chest as he caressed gun's head

"I'm sorry if i was late, birthday boy" He said and gun suddenly burst into tears as the guy remember his own special day...while off, Thinking about the guy made his heart clench and brought an ache "shhh i'm already here i won't leave you" he comforts

"O-oab, my love finally found his home with another arms"he protess at him "he finally find his way back home but not in my arms and i'll never be" Oab pulled out from the hug and wipe his tears away.

"Gun ... tell me all your troubles, and i'll join your pain" and smiled at him to make his feeling better and like a kid he nodded his head "Good boy" and patted his head

Oab sat beside him and filled gun's glass with alcohol and as well his.

"Tell me what happened gun" he sorrowfuly asked Him. Seeing gun inn pain makes him weak , gun was the sweetest person he had knew , a person who always lack his pride for others who always smile even if he's going though in rough....gun is the bravest person .

"Don't act like you haven't still the idea of what happened oab, white surely told you about it owing to the fact how talkative he is" and he laugh

"Still, this is me gun who's willing to carry your burden" he said and a pain was written at the latter's face

"Oab, am i wrong that i told him to keep me rather than to step back and forget about the memories we shared? the shred we both shared? the love that we both shared ?" Oab just look at him , because he doesn't really know how to answer the latter.

"Frankly i don't know what to say ... is it really wrong to squeez ourselve at someone who throw us away? i don't know, maybe yes...maybe no? as long we're not shattering everyone's path, maybe it wasn't wrong at all" hr said and took a sip and gun smile bitterly

"But...why didn't you fight for it?"oab added

"They usually said that if a two people really meant for each other, they Will find their home back at each othe in the end, but our case is different i don't see any point to fight for it when someone isn't happy anymore overall you can even bring the old flame itself....and mostly i just realised that, it's hard to fight what's fated, and starts didn't aligned for us therefor i let him go lastly i just want to see him smile even for the last time" he said

"You do really love him to the fullesst aren't you?"

"yes ... so much that's why i found it so very irony that i gave everything but that everything ...is not enough" he turn his gaxe at his ring and twirl it around his finger "Even i give my best in everything i will never be someone who will suit for him, from the beggining i wasn't even suit for him, because i'm not a girl...and i'll never be" Oab lift his hand to reach his face and whipe his tears with his thumb

"Gun....Gender is just a gender but it can't be and shouldn't a reason to stop two people for loving each other, love ... love is just love , love has no definition because no matter where you look , love is just love who's making us feel alive but killing us at the same time, they doesn't even know the bliss after you take the leap, you'll feel joy and doesn't care about the world anymore inasmuch the most important is you're with the most important person---the one you love . They migt find it resentful but they didn't know their love is the strongest bond that is hard to wreck"

"but once the moment you're burning with bliss of love, a suddden warning that could end, will come to remind you" gun replied he turn his gaze at oab " If i've chose you, will i be in pain?" he sudden question .

"Maybe if you chose my you'll be in my arms sleeping pacefuly with a smile and a shred of yours will never happen like you are doing now" Oab slowly reacg gun's hand " If only it was me that you loved you wouldn't be alone , if only it was me that you loved you wouldn't be in tears you wouldn't need to keep you while i waits for someone, because i'd rather make my self fall inlove with you over and over again, i'd rather be fool for you, i'd rather comeback to past to realised why i love someone like you , because i can lose someone like you" And a pain passed trough his eyes "but i wasn't the one you choose"

" Maybe this is my karma for not choosing you " he joked

"silly"

"However...."gun turned away his gaze and stared blankly at the emptiness " i didn't regret that i chose him oab, and even if i had the chance to come back from the past i'll still choose him over you owing to the fact that i have the idea what's going to happen in ahead , because i'm happily in love at him" he frankly said and was about to take his hand back

"How long do you have to push me away , how further i need to stay away from you gun? i'm tired to run away from you, i'm tired to give you up " he said

"But oab ...i can't accept your feelings"

"and i don't give a fuck gun as long i love you i'll never give up, not again"

"i'm sorry oab" and his head stooped down however oab Lift up his chin

"Gun it's alright , i'm alright you don't have to be sorry because there's nothing to apologize " oab paused and brought gun's hand at his face and cupped it to himself "...however it doesn't mean i'll step back again, just let me love you gun and i'm not asking you to love me back just let me stay by yourside that's all nothing more, nothing less"

"i-i...oab---" Oab cut him off

"someone told me i'm a faint hearted person, afraid of being called out, i was unable to swing my bat, but if i continue to hesitate , i will lose so i should be brave and swing the bat. I could be called out, but I can also may hit a home run. Two outs in the bottom of the ninth and a full count, it's time to stepped up on my game. a good ball is coming on my way therefore i should swing my bat with all might, gun....i won't let repeat the past itself i won't give you up this time , i've always been sure of what i feel about you"

They both lock they're eyes , and forget about the people around them . Oab held his chin and bring his face closer and sealed him with a kiss and gun didn't resisted

'should i just forget everything? it feels so wrong yet it hurts. I Feel so wrong for make his hopes up when i could just end up hurting him over and over again...and it hurts that i'm kissing someone considering as i close my eyes...only off is the one i see'

"G-gun..."

Gun suddenly pulled at from the kiss when he heared a familiar voice suddenly filled the place and as he turn his sight he found his love standing infront of them ,looking at them unbelivable

"O-off"

Gun doesn't want to hallucinate but it seems he saw a sudden glimpse of pain though Off's eyes but faded right away...

"i-i was looking for you " off uttered while looking at them blankly and with those stares he felt a thorn turn over on his heart

"W-why?" he hopelessly asked

White actually called him after gun left the place , he told him about him the gun is no where to be found and his getting worried about considering that the latter's phone is out of reach.Off on the other hand suddenly remembered about his plan with the latter but because Mild happen he forgot about him

Off left his unit as soon he heared the news leaving mild alone at his unit who's sleeping peacefully , he drive right away at their hangout place but there wasn't trace of gun

He got nervous and he tried to search every place that gun might visit aside on their hangout place but he was failed, he also tried to call gun's phone but he can't reach him, Nonetheless he instantaneously recall that he once leave open Gun's GPS While they were still together considering he can trace the guy easily

As he get his phone at his pocket he's hopes up inasmuch he successfuly locate the latter , therefore he didn't waste any second and rushed to way his place , thus an unexepectedly scenario greeted him as soon he get there.

"N-nothing it's just w-white asked me to help him for searching you , he told me that he came at your place but you weren't there so he got worried considering it's nearing midnight however..." Off turn his gaze at oab " It's seems you're having fun by someone else company while there's people out there worrying about you" he sarcastically said

"Off be careful with your words" oab interrupted

"look who's here, the protagonist wanna be cameback huh? you shouldn't bother you're just messing up " off sarcasticaly said, oab clicked his tounge and shook his head as he stooped down

"I may be a a fake protagonist while you're the real one but " he lift his head and look at him as he smirk "you don't deserve the title itself...if the lead is a jerk , you should be the supporting character instead." Oab said

the smirk from off's face straight away fade

"You don't know a thing"

"I may not know a thing, even so i know how to cherish a keeper not like you, a stupid" he confidently said , off felt his blood boils for what he said

"oab enough!" he pacified between the tension

"do you think you'll win this time? you are a loser and will always be, a trying hard loser who's pleading to a person who will never love you back, considering that person already throw by someone else,are you that brazen?"

Off doesn't really mean to say that but gun and oab looks misunderstand him, and gun felt humilated and offended at the same time

Oab clench his fist and didn't think twice to throw a punch at off reason to him to lose his balance, and he got right away an upper cut

he get up and wipe his bleeding lips and instantly throw his fist at oab . However oab didn't give a shit considering he really resent him for what he caused at gun , he puched him once again and this time he didn't gave him an oppurtunity he pushed his at the ground and went on top of him then pull his collar to throw a fist

On the other hand gun doesn't know how to stop the two guys who'sfighting, he even used all his strength to pull them apart but they were too strong .The other costumer seemed to notice gun having a hard time to stand between them therefore they didn't waste any second to meddle between the two of them

As soon they successfully to pull them apart gun pushed them and went between them "WHAT'S WRONG WITH BOTH OF YOU!!!!" he furiously said "ARE YOU REALLY THE SHAMELESS ENOUGH TO MAKE A SCENE HERE!?" he looked at off " Honestly i don't really have the idea what are you doing here after you ditched me?you can say no and just neglect it like what you did!"

"SOMETHING CAME UP!" he reasoned

" I can see how important that something!HOW ABOUT ME OFF"

"What's gotten into you!?you're just my ex who's trying to fit at my life even i already pushed you away you're still queezing your self and asked me a tupid favor to keep you while i wait!? ARE YOU THAT DESPERAT---" he didn't had the chance to finish his sentence when the little guy throw him a fit which made him stunned...it was unbelivable because gun never really out of patience, and seems he was too much this time

he looked at gun, and there wasn't a tear drop like he always used to be and all he can see at the youngers eyes is anger "thank you for waking me up because i finally came to back to my sense! Thank you off , a lot don't worry this will be the last because i won't meddle with your life anymore. Thankyou for everything Off i'm hoping our path won't cross anymore " he said and left the place

Oab walk towards him and stand infront of him "Thank you for letting him go, because you just proved yourself that you can keep a precious like him, i shouldn't have stepped back , i should fought for him , because i have the confidence that i will never make him cry,not a drop. Be happy with your new , may your love last forever. This my turn now to take care of him so don't worry and i'm not going down without a fight off, not a chance " and before he left the place oab told him something that made his knees weak

"Anyway...gun must be rreally thankful , because you hurt him on his own birthday it is really wonderful gift off" and he followed gun

a tear suddenly formed on his eyes as his heart ache

_'i'm sorry gun, i hurt you again...'_

* * *

As oab left the place he immidiately search for gun and he found him instantly who's sitting at the cornern of the street while crying out loud as he clench his heart .

He took a few step forward way to him and he took off his suit to put on gun. Gun lifted his head as he felt someone laid a jacket on him and he found Oab looking down at him with sorrowful eyes, He extend his hand at him

"Stand up gun" however the latter just looking at his hand , Gun felt empty and all he want is to cry out the pain that his love caused therefore he doesn't know how to approach him.

Oab let out a sigh and support the latter to stand up, after that he went infronnt of him and bent his left knee

"W-what are you d-doing ?" gun mumble

"I'll carry you, and don't say no gun or else i'll kiss you" he threated

"a-are you nuts?"

"For you? i guess so. stop talking just get on , other people may found you weird crying at one's corner so just get on gun i don't mind getting my shirt wet as long you want to release the pain you are going through" Gun was about to hesitate but oab grabbed his arm and put above his shoulder and carry him in a piggy style without the latter's consent "Gun just cry and cry, cry all your pain but promise me once i put you down you'll get over it please" gun didn't answered him but instead he just nodded as an answer .

Gun doesn't have any choice but to let oab carry him owing to the fact the latter won't shut up until he said yes, and he think he lose his strength to walk as he felt empty and broken

As he take a few step as gun's tears flow like a river .

He keep asking the universe, what did he do wrong ? as long he remember he didn't commit any crime but why universe throw him a big rock , a rock he wasn't even able to catch.

The words has left by off it was deeply hurt for gun , those words left a big scars to his heart than off left words when they broke up. It wasn't even easy for him to see him loving someone but he make his self look like a fool, maybe he wasn't really in his sense when he ask such a favor like that....because it was meaningless till the end.

' _have you ever wandered on purpose? because i wandered aimlessly on purpose. Have you ever let yourself get soaked even you though you had an umbrella?because that's what i did, there's someone who's willing to give me a shelter but i chose to get soaked instead. It was a sweltering day, but those words he left cooled me down, enough to make me comeback to my sense. However an unbelievably beautiful scene stars unfolded before my eyes. i saw a many stars, it looked as though it'd grant me any wish. Nonetheless it suddenly hit me, it actually nice to wander aimlessly every once in a while despite of the pain it caused ,from time to time...it was wonderful to sail without a map. Those aimlessly thought somehow bring joy into my heart as i had the chance to stay beside him even just for a while...'_

Maybe it's time...to release the hand he used to keep who already let go , long time ago..

Oab felt gun has already stopped from sobbing, he took a peak of the latter and he catch a view of sight that the latter already fall a sleep and he can't help not his self not to release a chuckle.

"It seems this is going to be a long path little one, i hope this time you'll hold to me" he said.

** 'One sided love is beautiful...no expectation, nothing in return just pure love. It may hurt, no doubt but nothing be can beautiful as one sided love story' **

___________________________________

Oab opened gun's bedroom and straightly went at gun's bed to lay him off, if you are going to ask if they use a car all way to Gun's unit you're absolutely wrong , oab walk while his carrying gun and didn't endure the tiredness he felt as long he carries his world.

He sat at the ground as he stare at gun. He lift his hand to brush off's gun eyes who's covering he's beaautiful eyes

"6 years ago... i chose to stay away from you to ease the pain , to runaway from you i thought i already moved on but as soon i heared what happened,those 6 years i spent away from you was meaningless because i'm still inlove with you no matter what i do is still you,You may be blame yourself but it wasn't your fault , it was my decision , i know you were guilt when i confessed my feeling about you. I've been loving you since we were young gun, i've been always by yourside . I feel a little bit sad that i should've own up to you about my feelings but fears triggered me that ,what if i told you about it you'll stay away from me? but that what if happened again...what if i fought my feelings about you? would you love me how you love him, would you smile at me the way you smile at him? will your eyes spark at me whenever you see me like you are too him? I'm sorry if i was coward, i'm sorry if i don't had the balls to profess. I should've turn into reality those what if ..maybe you're not suffering in pain , partly this is my fault because i stepped back."

He started to carassed his face "However now that i'm back.... I wanna stop wondering, iwanna say goodbye to my what if's .this is now my turn to make things right , to fix you , and to protect you at all cost , and i won't throw away my shoot" and he kissed his forehead and left Gun's unit to pick up their car.

* * *

Upon waking, Gun burrowed himself into the warm, soft sheets. He rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and gazed out at the horizon; its vivid light extended across a rosy sky. He supposed this was something the majority of people would consider beautiful, but he found it strange, hard even, to find something so meaningful in something so every-day. It's not like the sun wouldn't rise, it had, after all, been reliably happening since the beginning of time. So what was so special about it? He could never feel the joy from it others did, However it feels odd that tears aren't streaming anymore down to his face...maybe he was tired to cry anymore although the scars he left was still on his heart .

_'how can be fate so cruel?...'_

He was about to get up when he catch of sight a figure someone that's sleeping while sitting at the ground and while his head was stooped down

'You stay beside me after all the pain that i caused you 6 years ago...you were still there eyeing at me from a far, even if i want to return your love ..i just can't , this time...it's complicated'

Even if he doesn't want to give the latter a false hope, he decided to let the guy stay beside him , atleast for somehow he can make him happy even if it isn't the genuine happiness oab deserve...

Gun get off the bed and held oab to move him at his bed , and he felt a relieve when the latter didn't awake. before he decided to go at the kitchen, he carassed oab's head and mumble a word.

"Thank you oab...let me make up with you"

** 'He may didn't open his heart for someone, but his willing to make him stay if the trade is his happiness...even for briefly' **

* * *

Oab suddenly awake when he heared a loud noise coming from the kitchen therefore he rush toward kitchen to check what happened and he found gun organizing the table for breakfast

"You're already wake up?" Gun sweetly smiled

"a-ah yes " he gulped and sat on the chair. It's only a simple breakfast Pancake with honey syrup with black coffee but for oab it is a special breakfast considering it was made by gun. "y-you still remember my favorite?" oab mumble and took a bite

"Of course how can i forget my best friend's favorite food" he said made oab pause from eating his breakfast and for a moment silence filled the room

"y-yeah " he agree and he silently eat his breakfast , gun wanted to poke his self for letting go his word without thinking what may the latter feel.

Gun cleared his throat "A.ahm oab.." Oab lift his head and looked at him

"yes?"

"How did you took me home" he asked and he slice his own pancake and took a bite, but then he suddenly choke for what oab had said next

"Oh that? i walked you home because you fall asleep last night"

Gun rush to his side and gave him a water and robbed his back "are you alright?" gun just nodded as an answe "you should be careful next time" he scold at gun

"s-sorry " he mumble

"it's alright little one, just be careful you scare the hella out of me" he said and mess gun's face made him frawn ang bring a chackle to oab as how gun acted

"O-oab" he suddenly uttered reason to caught his attention

"what's it?"

"a-about l-last nigh---" Oab suddenly cut him off

"i know it was an asshole move , but i won't say sorry about it because he desrves it" he said

"t-that's not what i mean"

"then what it is?"

"i actually wondered about what you said yester---" Oab cut him off again which annoyed gun

"if you're going to reject i'm sorry gun but i refuse to obey you as i said i'm not gonna throe my shoo---SHSAHSJ" Oab didn't had the chance to finish his sentence when he brought a piece of pancake at oab's mouth

"stop interrupting me idiot!!!" He irritatedly said ,and a little smile brought at the latters lip considering how cute is gun whenever his mad

"Ah Fine young master " and he giggled as gun rolled his eyes

Gun cleared his throat and locked his eyes at oab "A-about what you s-said last night ,I've been selfish for way too long it's unfair..and it's not fair to you who's willing to love me even if with asurance but.. i'm letting you stay by myside to take care of me...but oab i can't gurantee to return---"To his surprise, He didn't had the chance to finish his word as Oab hugged him tightly "O-oab i can't b-breath"

"sorry" he apologized but gun shook his head and smiled at him,Therefore he losen up his hug and cupped gun's face "Gun listen i'm not expecting you to love me back not even a tweeny beeny...staying by your side, taking care of you, and loving you is enough. You don't have to open your heart for me gun, but the only thing i want you to do is to be Genuinely happy with me. I may not able to give the happiness he gave to you, but i'm willing make you happy beyond that. I love you gun, and loving you means giving everything i have "

An authentic smile was written on gun face, not a force, not a sorrow...but a genuine smile

"Thank you oab for everything" Oab shook his head

"No, thank you gun for giving me a chance, being honest this is partly my fault why you are suffering because of my what if's , fears triggered me . Maybe if i only had the chance to come back i'll profess my love before he came...However gun, i'm already done with my what if's . I want everything to turn into reality, and that reality is with you"

' i didn't regret loving off, not even now...but what if i looked at oab once? will the stars change what meant to happen?'

"You're so such a sweet talker!" Gun teased oab

"hey! that's true it came from heart!!!" and he tapped his chest

"psh"

"G-gun..."

"Hmmm?"

"Can we go out?" Oab asked, Gun stares at him for a moment .

'There's nothing wrong for accepting his offer right? it isn't like someone will get mad at him..not anymore"

"you can say no if you don't want to i know it's too much---"

"I'm free this whole day, where are we heading to?" He said and a big smile appear at his face

"Really!?" gun nodded , oab stand up and punch the air sign of happiness made him laugh

"YES!!!! I want to make it simple for a moment but how about let's hang out at the arcade?" he suggest

"It's Fine with ---- **WHAT ARCADE!?"**

Oh god , oab really knows how to annoyed him...but somehow his happy in that way like how they used to be when they were still bestfriend but the difference now is Oab is loving him.

* * *

"Oab i swear i'll kill you once we go home!you tricked me idiot!" Gun threated Oab . The latter really did what he said , he forced gun to play at the arcade and he even made a bet , oab knows gun has lack experience at arcade considering he really hate it, now oab won considering he tricked the guy which made gun annoyed  
"aww gunnie you know i didn't tricked you, you were just not flexible enough to beat me" He smirked

"So what's the catch?"

Oab mischievously smile and gun's face turn into frown . He extend hi hand infront of gun

"what?"

"Hold my hand " he gently said , gun's face turn's red therefore he turnaway his gaze

' this guy really knows how to flatter , tsk'

he cleared his throat and shyly accept his hand which made oab's grin wider . they were walking while holding hands ignoring other people who's looking at them. While they were making the most of it they suddenly passed into a jewelry a shop and a ring ,it's a gold forms the sun of the four stars, and its diamond is black. The inside of the sun itself there's the waning crescent is also a small black diamond, gun found it very fascinating he was captivated by the beauty itself

"Gun?" he called his name to caught his attention

"H-huh?"

"i said if you're hungry do you want to eat something ?"

"O-oh y-yeah yes where are we going to eat?"

"Where do you want to eat?" he asked

"i don't know your choice "gun suggest and oab nodded he's head as an answer so he grabbed gun onto a fast food chain and they just decided to eat chicken and rice with french fries pairing with ice tea, they've just decided to sit at the corner where no one can notice them too much

"Gun" Oab suddenly uttered , he look at him and raised both of his eyebrow as he questioning him "Can i leave for a minute ? i forgot to buy something"

"sure no problem " he said and smile at him

"I'll be back within a minute " gun nodded as answer and oab left the place.

Gun get his phone and went on his social media but as he scroll down a post caught his attention , its off's . it said there that he's at the same mall where he and oab are.

He felt nervous as his heart starts to pounds. He isn't mad anymore with the latter considering he can't stay mad at him for a long time but the thing is he doesn't know how to face him. However he accidentally turn his gaze at the entrance of the restaurant and a sight of a figure made his heart to pound but it was sad at the same time Gun decided to bow his head and was about to hide behind his hand but it was already too late when the person who broke his heart called his name

"G-gun..." and gun have no choice but to look at him even his against to look at him . He stand up to greet him as off took a step forward to him

"O-off, what a coincident" he smile and pretend like nothing happen, Off stand infront of him and stares at him who last for a second and gun found it weird "Off"

"A-ah yes...w-what are you doing here?" he asked

"Ahm" should he tell him about oab ? it isn't something like off cares about it anymore " N-nothing we just decided to spend a day here at the mall, just a random stuff"

"We? are you with someone?"

"Yes actually i was with oa---" he didn't had a chance to finish his sentence when a familiar voice called off's name. A girl in white dress went at off and cling her arms to off due to caught the latters attention "Sorry for that i had to answer the call ,who were you talking to?" and Mild turn her gaze at Gun but they both suddenly rooted on their place and a horror expression left their face

'crap, all of people why you?'

Mild unbelievable look at him as if she never thought that he'll see the latter in unexpected time and place considering it's been a months since they saw each other "G-gun"

"Mild do you know each other?" Off asked at mild

"Yes"

"No" He and mild said in unison but mild look at him confusingly as gun denies that he doesn't know her reason to bring a pain on her eyes and sadly look at him

'why gun....'

"What" off confusingly asked her

"I know him, he's my---" Mild was interrupt when oab suddenly call gun and went at him then wrapped his arms at his waist

"Gunnie have you waited for me?" Oab sweetly mumble "Oh your here ? i didn't notice you off" sarcasticaly said at off making the latter blood his boil as the prick is trying to mess up with him

"Yeah you were just too naive not to see us"Off talked back

Gun held immidiately Oab's hand to calm the latter between the tension and because of that sudden gesture brought a sweet smile at oab, however that gesture didn't escape from off his sight was stuck on Gun and oab's interwind hand and mild noticed it ...and she realised something

On the other hand gun didn't really mean to do it but that's the only way he can calm oab he doesn't want to repeat what happen last night at the bar, and gun is even actually thankful of his sudden appear or else it will be the end of him.

"A-ahm can we join the table instead?" Mild suddenly interupt " Most of all it looks like WE KNOW EACH OTHER " Mild emphasize the last sentence

"Yes you are right why don't we just share the table instead?" Off suggest

Oab and gun think that it wasn't a good idea but they had no choice when the two person already sat their table

"We're just going to find a ne--" Mild cut him off

"Oh no please don't bother , just stay here i don't find it any wrong not either malice unless..." Mild looked at gun meaningfuly.

Gun just sigh and sat infront of them .

'Arghhh this is so awkward!' he thinks

The room filled with silence as Oab and Off are just glaring at each other while Mild is silently observing him which he just ignored her gaze and decided to bow his head

"A-ahm oab where did you go?" Gun suddenly uttered at oab to cut the tension between him and off

"Oh that!" Oab get something from his pocket and he gave him a red velvet box made his eyes grew wider and Mild as well who's mouth is half open while Off's face turn into a frown

"ARE YOU GOING TO PROPOSE TO HIMMMM!????" Mild said louder and feeling thrilled because of Him and Oab , however she not intentionaly caught the costumer's attention

Oab chuckled because of Mild reaction while off swiftly clentch his fist

"Not now but once he accepted my love , i'll marry him right away " Oab gently mumbled and he reach for gun's hand and trace his thumb on it. Oab opened the box and it was a necklace with a moon but the difference is it looks like a two moon with different phase, The white moon was a waning gibbous while the color black moon was a waxing crescent , gun was captivated by oab's gift "I was actually going to buy the ring who caught your attention but the sales lady told me that there's already someone bought that and they out of stuck therefore i decided to buy this for you as my birthday gift, this is for the meantime i'll promise you once i see a similar ring of that i'll buy it righ away " He explained

"You don't have to do that, neither this "

"But i wanted it" He said and gun felt overwhelmed and happy as the same time

"Then thank you ,but i loved it!" he exclaimed , oab get the box from his hand and stand up then went behind him as he wore at him the necklace on the other hand Off is looking at them furiously while clentching his Jaw, he doesn't know why but doesn't like his view and what annoyed hin the most the way Gun smiled at Oab

He picked up his glass and drank it straightly , He made a noise as he put down his glass reason to caught their attention

Gun look at him with question face and unbelivable expression "Are you alright?"

"Yeah i'm totally alright, it isnt something like i'm affected or what,just go on with your own world" he sarcasticaly said

'I didn't even asked you what you've felt and you don't even have to rubbed it on my face that you don't care' he wanted to say it but decided to ignore him considerin they might end up arguing

"By the way what's your relationshio with him?" Mild asked Off

"Oh that? He's my e---"

"His School Mate wayback on college days" he interrupted at off ,and the two guys look at gun unbelivable while mild look at him dubiously considering she wasn't convince

"i see"

Off was about correct her but their order suddenly a noise cut him off and it was oab's phone someone was calling . The latter get his phone and excuse himself to get the call

"Please excuse me as well i need to go at the bathroom" Mild uttered and they just nodded as an answer

"Gun why did you hide about us?" Off asked as soon they were left together

"There's no point of telling her" he said without looking at him

"There is gun,are you ashame about our relationship before?"

A little smile draw on his lip as he stooped down his head "I wasn't...i'm not...and i'll never be"

"Then why"

"She might find it disgusting"

" i don't think the d word is appropriate word about us"

"There's no even us anymore...." he whispered but off heared it and a sudden glimpse of pain passed though Off's eyes but faded right away... "that's nit the point off what if she found out about us? She might be turn off to you"

" What?"

"She likes you,you like her stop biting the bullet there's no use"

"Ok then and if she doesn't accept my past gun it only means she can't either accept me!"

"Still!"

Off was about to respond when mild and oab arrived and their orders as well reason to interrupt him. Mild's eyes twinkled as soon she saw the food mostly at the chicken and for a moment she forgot the people around her and devour the food, Off smiled because of her action

'such a childish'

Meanwhile gun was silently looking at them as he keeping aside the ache he feels whik On the other hand Oab is observing gun who's stoling a look at them from time to time

He reach for gun's hand under the table and squeezed it to made him feel that He's just there , who can be his strength

Gun just smiled at him and continue to eat with his other free hand . However Mild suddenly stole Off's chicken skin " Can i have this? Yes thankyouuuu" and she directly brought to her mouth

"HEY GRUMPY THAT'S MINE!" Off Complained but mild just show her tongue made off whined and they start to bickerring over and over again. Gun was just looking at them, and he was surprised by Off's side . He never saw that side of him bickrring with someone,whinned like a kid or what but with my mild...He became himself the real him gun wondered for the past 6 years if Off became true about him considering how diffefdnt he is with Mild...they were a mess like a child,but too Perfect for each other.when they were still together the guy was just sweet and serious.with that thought made him sad as his heart clench in pain

"Please Excuse me" he interrupt, didn't wait them to respond and directly went at the CR

He was lucky because right away he went at the bathroom the room was empty, he sat at the ground didn't consider about the dirt ,he let his tears fall and he cupped his mouth to avoid making a noise

Gun can't help not to feel hurt , he felt like everytime off is smiling at someone else it's turning himself into dust as his heart got burned by the flames of the pain. And he cried more as a memory flash back on his head

* * *

**FLASHBACK : 2012**

"Love what's your ideal date?" Off asked .

They were apparently watching a series on Television at Off's House, considering the latter already got his own house at young age,oh well Off i quietly well off , while Gun was leaning on Off between the latter's Leg

"That's so random,why sudden" His boyfriend reach his hand and interwind it

"Perfect and Fascinating" Off mumble and Gun just smile . Their hand were perfectly for each other,Off's hand was big compare to him however they found it cute...because it is perfect for each other. "hmm...it's just we haven't still a proper date yet , and it seems unfair to you if you do not experience it so I want to give you a memory you will never forget " he said and gun looked at, him thinking while his eyes glazed over with joy

gun sighed and drew a smile on his lips and shook as a sign that he did not really know what he's ideal date is "i don't know i don't really have an ideal date, Maybe if I have an ideal date, you will be with me until the end of the day, until the sun goes down and until it appears. " and it playfully smiled at the young man . Off couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend's tenderness, so he hugged him tightly

"why are you being so sweet?" off teased gun but the young man just rolled his eyes

Off's minded floated, a pleasant mist clouding his thougts and he pulled away his self from off and went at his father room to get a bottle of wine

"How about we drank ourselves and talk about our plans !?" He suggest and Gun smiled at him . He walked towards him and wrapped the side of his waist

"I think i can settle with it " He replied as he tiptoe to planted a kiss at his lip who last for a minute.

Off held his hand walked in the middle of the whole room until they reached a long corridor . They walked for a couple of minutes,until they stopped infront of a door. He opened it and guided gun inside

The room was beautiful it was spacious with huge bed ,and a beautiful bedroom , Off led him to it. The view was impressive ,you could see the lights of the whole citu , the breez was blowing and the sky was lit only by the light of moon.

Off positioned himself behind him,wrapping his arm around his waist,letting his face rest on his shoulder

"Gun..." he whispered at his his ear

"hmm" he humed

"I want to stay like this with you forever"

"But nothing last forever..."

"There is" he said ang tightly hugged him "us" and gun just chuckled then put his hand around his neck and the other one place his at off's hands

"Then...us"

"You know gun, you are the best thing happened to me " he said sweetly and kiss the corner of his lips " i don't know what i did,to be here with you now...in this way with you

Gun Turned arround cupped his face " and so do i? You are the best thing as well happened in my life. I never thought that at somepoint of my life that i'll actually fall inlove because you happened. I love you Off and loving you means Eternal"

"I love you too..."

They got closer little by little ,until they brought their lips together, he clunged to him tighter to deepen the kiss. They were kissing with such love and delicacy , like they were a precious treasure of each other. As if with each suction of Off's lips at gun ,they wanted to convince gun how much he loves him, Everything seema supremely magical. Until...

Off pulled away from the kiss and rest his head at him as he shook his head

"what's wrong?"

"I love you don't get me wrong" he had fixef his eys at the ground "but i might lose my control, even if i want to touch you i can't,it's not because i feel disgusted nor i don't want you but i just value so much that i respect you and i want every moment with you to be special, overall i've never had a sex with a man , i don't know how it works , i'm afraid of hurting you, if something happen to you i'd die and just because i want to make love with you would be the reason why you are going to leave me...and i don't want it!"

Gun Froze for a moment ,he was surprised of his Boyfriend sudden confession . He know at somepoint sex can never be avoidable and somehow for other it is necessary in relationship ,he just didn't too much think about it ,it doesn't even make sense but...he'd lie if he going to say that he didn't fantasize off ,he did But aren't they too much early to take the next step? They've been together only for 3 months,nor it is?

Off Hugged him and placed his left hand on his head and he felt sone water drop on his shoulder "Gun please don' t leave me , i'm sorry about my sudden confesson i know where too much early for that -- " Gun interrupt off as he push gently the latter and brought his face at him

'there's nothing wrong with trying right' he pulled away and looked up on him

"Then let's try" he offered

"B-but gun you don't have to say yes just because i'm getting horny --no this is a big step and i don't want to hurt you---"

"If it's you then i gadly love the pain ,as long it's you i'm always ready to take the next step" he said as if he wholeheartedly offered everything he had without hesitation and it seemed like he owns him and Off owns him

"B-but g-gun---" he was still skeptical of the young man's sudden decision, he just didn't want the young man to regret once he deflowered him

"Make me yours" he softly said ,and looked at him like he was seducing the young man "do not wait for my mind to change before it is too late Just do it Off, just doi it" He whisper on his ears

He took him by the face and began to kiss him, soft, sweet and kind. He stroked his back with one hand and tangled my fingers in the strands of his hair.

Off began to unbutton gun's shirt, and take it off, he stopped kissing his mouth and started down to his neck.He lowered his hands and put them inside his shirt, raised them up to his shoulders and then slid them to the hem of his boxers, Gun shuddered with that act.

Off took the edge of his shirt pulling it out gently and he couldn't help but look at him, his body was perfect. His chest and arms were firm but slim, his abdomen was flat and smooth.

"Gun you're beautiful."Gun looked at him and his cheeks flushed, he was so damn cute

He lunged for his chest, hugged him again and hid his face in my neck.

"You can stop me if you want i can still control myslef---"

"There's no turning back anymore off"

Off pulled him towards him and kissed gun

Gun smiled and kissed off. He took Gun by the hips as he kissed him and slid his hands under his boxers, his glutes were round, big and firm. Slide a hand in front of his boxer and take his member, Gun moaned over my mouth 'his moans are tender, but rough and sexy ,' his member was totally hard and wet from the precum.

He took him out of his boxers and began to slide his hand over him, Gun released hjs mouth and began to moan, Off began to kiss his neck. He went down to his nipples leaving a line of kisses until he got there. He licked one of his nipples, Gun moaned and pulled his hair as a result of what he did, he kept pulling his member from the base to go up to his glans.

He suck, and bite his nipples Gun moaned at the top of his lungs. Hearing him moan, it made  
Him shudder, it was perfect, completely perfect. Off's member hurt, it was completely hard thanks to the moans of his little one. He took his other hand out of his boxers, still massaging his member and directed it to his pants, took off the belt, unfastened the button and unzipped the zipper. He pulled his manhood out of his pants and started jerking off.

Gun moaned in time with the thrusts of his hand on his member, and he moaned along with him.

"Ahhhhhh Off."he said while hugging him "No ... I can't anymore ahhhhh ..."

Hearing him moan his name and feel him tremble over him made hin come almost at the same time as him. We held each other for a moment while we caught our breath.

Gun began to lower off's pants; he know what he want to do. He tried to stop it, but couldn't do it. He looked at him warningly, I wouldn't take no for an answer.

He's love, he knelt in front of him, looked at me for a second and then smiled in a sly way, 'Damn he's so damn wicked!' He slowly raised his hands up to his legs, let them rest on his hips and lightly licked the tip of his penis, a tickling spread from his stomach to his member, making his hair stand on end. His pixie softly toned my manhood between his hands and he put it little by little in his mouth, he began with a gentle swing from top to bottom, he savored his member as if it were a delicious candy, he hides his teeth so as not to hurt he. he sticks out his warm, wet tongue, licks the tip of his penis, and puts it back in his mouth. He moves one hand and begins to massage his testicles, causing the tickling from his stomach to his member again.

'Damn if it continues like this, I'll end up in his beautiful mouth!' 

He can't do it, he want his little one to enjoy the pleasure, Off take him by the arm and help him stand up. Gun looked at him a little surprised, but didn't mind it, Off took the top of his boxers and lowered them slowly, letting his delicate member come out. Off pulled him towards Hin and gently kissed his abdomen. He wanted to make it clear that he want it, that he have waited for this for a long time, that he is dying to make it his own, but he need him to want it too. And as if reading his mind, he gently held my head and pulled it a little closer to his belly.

Off knew that was the most subtle response to his act. He took him by the legs and stood up, causing his feet to come off the floor. He rolled my waist with his legs and hid his face in my neck, he love him doing that . He carried it up to the bed, like it was a baby.

'My baby.'

He took a little control of the nightstand, and put the music on.

Off sat on the bed leaving his little one sitting on his lap, Gun kissed his face and then he placed a kiss on his lips. Put their foreheads together, for a moment it seemed that the world did not exist , and it did; there was nothing but just Gun. His world was Gun. He want to take care of him, pamper him, comfort him. He want to be his last thought at night, he want to be the first thing gun want to see in the morning. He just want him to love him like he love him.

"Off .."his voice is was gentle, he opened his eyes, off looked at him; He was still focused" Please make me yours."

" Sorry for not being prepared." he said caressing his cheeks

He smiled and then started kissing off.

He took his little one by the hips, caressed his body, kissed his skin. He stood up his buttocks and hd began to massage his entrance, Gun moaned at his action and continued kissing off, He pulled away from him and put his fingers in front of him.

"Lick them." he said hoarsely with excitement.

Gun took his fingers and started sucking them, when they were wet enough, he took them out of his mouth and brought them back to his entrance. Massage his entrance again, but he was already wet

"Gun, I'm going to prepare you." he said

He looked at him and nodded. He have never had sex with another guy, but in the last few weeks, he have watched a lot of adult videos and learned very well how he should do it. He don't want to hurt his little one, so he gently pushed his finger over his entrance. Gun moaned and kissed Off, sliding it a little more until my whole finger was inside him. He waited a couple of seconds for his entrance to get used to the intrusion, and He began to move his finger inside him, he began with short and soft thrusts, to slowly dilate his entrance, Gun does not stop moaning and caressing his body tenderly. When his entrance is wide enough, he slid another finger inside his flower, He keep thrusting this time a little faster, He scissors inside him, he slid one more finger, fingers are enough. He continued thrusting and when his fingers no longer feel squeezed inside his flower, he take them out and bring his hand directly to his member, expanding all the precum that comes out of it, to lubricate it.

"Gun..." He say excited " I can't wait any longer, please let me enter you." he exclaimed as he kiss him.

"Do it Off" ..- He said just as excited as off "I'm ready"

The little boy got up a little from his lap, he took his member and aligned it at his entrance, slowly lower until the tip of his penis entered it. Gun trembled on top of hin, lowered a little lower as he tensed. He kissed his neck and slid his hands from his shoulders to where his glutes began. He relaxed and kept going down until he had his member completely inside, tbey moaned together.

Gun is warm and tight, his insides make him shudder, He stayed still until his entrance was sufficiently used and before starting, He said

"If I hurt you, forgive me." He looked at Off and smiled

He began to thrust him slowly, Gun hugged Off, as they became one, he kept thrusting while they moaned at the same time, He kissed his neck, and went down to his chest, He latch on to one of his nipples, He suck it, lick it, bite it and kiss. Gun clings to him tighter, hugs him as he rises and falls on his member.

He caressed him, He bite his body, He want everyone to realize that Gun belongs to hin that no one else can be with him, only he himself. Gun charged with more force, They were near the limit. In a quick movement He took him by the leg and He turned around until He was on him, without leaving him at any time, Off hit his forehead to his and began to thrust him again.

"Gun you are perfect ahhh"said between moans" You are beautiful from head to toe." he said against his ear without stopping penetrating him" I would give anything to have you all my life." He touched Gun's sweet spot making him tremble and scream His name" I have dreamed of holding you in my arms for a long time" He touched his sweet spot again and Off arched his back "You are everything to me." He touched his prostate one more time "I want you to be mine. Only mine."

"Off Ughhh" he shout "I'm yours. Only yours Off.ughh" Off arch his back and nail his nails into Off's body

"Ahhhh baby." Hesaid

"Ahh ahh Off" he clung closer to him and whispered in his ear "I love you"

He met his forehead with his, Gun trembled under his chest as he came. He came at the same time as him. He gave him a kiss on the forehead and then he got out of it. He lay down next to him, Gun turned to him hiding his face in his chest. Off hugged him tight and caressed his face, after a few minutes he fell fast asleep wrapped in my arms. There is a belief, that if you speak to someone while they sleep, they will remember it every time they close their eyes. He doean'tknow if it's real, but He want to believe it is.

He leaned on him and whispered in his ear.

**_"I love you Gun, I will always love you."_ **

He could see how between dreams he smiled. I  
He tried to stay awake to admire its beauty, but soon Morpheus caught hin in his arms and hr fell asleep, hugging his little one ....

* * *

He felt a strong pain in his heart ,he's chest began to rise and fall uncobtrollably , filling with anguish and fear,his eyes cystallized as if cataracts were sproutung from then he began to cry over again. He could not help but feel sad and feel hurt with the memories they've shared. Even if he wants to fight for him what for? it doesn't make sense anymore especially and he doesn't want to be with him, off is no longer happy so why insist?, whatever he do, nothing will happen.

He suddenly stopped from crying when someone knock on the bathroom door "Gun it's me, Oab"

Gub did not hesitate to open it, and he immediately hugged him and cried in his arms like a child complaining about someone stole his candy

Oab caressed his back to calm him down from crying and wanted to let him know that he was just here and would not leave no matter what. He Cupped Gun's face and smiled at him even if it's hurting him to see him crying ,he smiled for him and wipes his tears away using his thumb

"Listen Gun,i'm here ...i'll be your strength" he muttered

"O-oab i feel so hurt! I-i feel su hurt even though i shouldn't be! I feel hurt seeing him with someone else i can't help not to get jealous. How i wish i can endure the pain i'm feeling, because i asked for this. I asked him to keep me while his falling inlove with someone else ...I wanted this. I hope i can be honestly tell him that i am happy for him , i'm happy for tha both of them " and he fixed his gaze on his feet "i-i hope i could" he sobs started to get louder and he use his palms to cover his eyes "i hope i-i could ,but i couldn't and i hate myself for that"

He pulled the young man and locked him in his arms. with each drop of tears he seemed to be gradually breaking his heart and destroying his soul. He feels hury every time he sees him hurts ,even though he wants to erase the pain of the young man ,he can do nothing because he does not hold his heart and the only thing he can do is to Comfort him and join his pain with it even if he is also hurt

'if only we could teach our heart to choos who should love, you wouldn't feel the pain anymore, you wouldn't cry anymore Because all i want is tosee you always smile ... if only you would have loved me'

Little do they know , Off saw them hugging each other and he could not help not to feel annoyed by the scene. He wanted To pull oab from gun and to smash the idiot's face. Off's jaw tightened as he clentch his fist and throw it on the wall and left the Place where Oab and Gun are hugging

* * *

Gun was laying on his couch while staring at the ceiling . After he broke down at the Bathroom on the mall he asked oab to take him home. oab insisted on saying goodbye to the two considering he told him to go firts straight to his car and he'll follow him after.

Gun felt empty. He doesn't know what to do. Oab wanted to stay over but gun refused. He wants some space. He wants to forget all his pain,all his trouble he just wanted to be hin for a while...because he lost him. He doesn't know how to bring the old him, If that old one is the one who loved off..

'off...'

He placed his arm on his to cover and stop his tears who's about to fall ... He's already tired. He doesn't want to feel the pain anymore. He want's to end this sooner

However he cameback to his sense when suddenly someone rang the doorbell .he wondered who it was, inasmuch he wasn't expecting any guest, even if he was lazy, he did nothing but stand up and take the door

But his eyes grew when he found out who it was . The person infront of him sadly smiled at him and didn't think twice to throw itself onto him.  
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To his surprise it was _Mild._

**"G-gun i missed you please come back ..."**

_'why now?'_

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may be all wondering what's the connection between Mild and Gun. What might be? What's your guess because i am curious as well . Share your thoughts down below and thank you for reading the story until now please keep supporting me until the end . We Only left 4 chapter and we are about bid a goodbye so stay tuned na kha!
> 
> For More : @heavenlyeuri on twittet to read some socmed au's 
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment!


	6. Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**If my love were an ocean,**  
**there would be no more land.**  
**If my love were a desert,**  
**you would see only sand.**  
**If my love were a star-**  
**late at night, only light.**  
**And if my love could grow wings,**  
**I'd be soaring in flight.**

* * *

"White are you the one who told mild where i'm living?" Gun complaint as soon white get the phone 

(Oh hello good morning cousin!) He sarcastically said at the other line

"I don't have time to crack some jokes with you,tell me are you the ine who told mild where i was?" He said as his brow arched on his face 

(Mild? As in Mild Lapassalan?) He cleared

"Yes who might be?"

(As in Mild your---)

"Stop there, and yes she is. Now tell me how did she knew where i live!?" He furiously said.

(How could i know!? I haven't still see her) he reasoned

"She knows you are my cousins!"

(..and?)

"Stupid" he mumble

(HEY I HEARED YOU!) 

"Oh really? good then because i mean it" he sarcastically said

(that's so rude of you, but let's move on ,but doesn't it seem better that she herself approaches you? what else are you worried about?)

"you know why ."

(but that's also for your own good, don't you think that? she is just concerned about you)

"I know, and I'm not a fool to not feel that. but for what else? why bother? why do you still insist on something you know no matter what you do...it's pointless" he said and he just sighed, he just shook his head every time he remembered what he and mild had talked about when the girl visited him. But his decision is already fix ... because it also makes no sense

(Gun it's not too late you can st---)

"No white it's already to late and i'm so fucking tired fooling myself , i don't wanna talk about it anymore i'll just hang this call " he didn't wait for his cousin to respond and he just ended the call immidiately. Gun massage his head sign because of frustration.

Mild doesn't have bad intention after all, but gun is the problem...he doesn't wanna comeback anymore and to make his self look like a fool.

Gun was massaging his temple when a voice came outofnowhere so he instantly look at the owner.

"Is this sit available?" 

there was off smiling at him while holding a cafe, he guess it's a machiato considering it is his favorite coffee at all. He nodded his head but didn't smmile back at him. He isn't mad about him but he'll lie if he denies that he doesn't want to see him for a while...especially he wants to move on,for the _better_.

But it seems fate is such a playful because look at them now pulling two old flames back together where there's no way to rikindle anymore. He remains quiet as he avoid at off , because his heart will melt again once he look at him...it will be over.

"so, how are you?" off asked him 

"fine" he shortly said without looking at him. Off felt a pinch of pain of how the latter act on him, he won't deny but he misses the sweet gun he knew , the one he loves ,the one who love him...and the one he hurt

"really it's good then!" he cheerfully said but gun didn't replied and haven't still looking at him, however he didn't gripe his coldness because some how he desrves it for beiing an asshole. "w-where's oab?" 

"why are you looking for someone you resent?" gun talked back

"i don't resent him gun" he fixed his gaze at his coffee and slip his fingers at the handle of coffee cup and played with it "i just don't like him, there's difference with that "

This time gun looked at him "what do you dislike about him?" 

"hmmm, it's...." off raised his head and locked his eyes at him "it's just something i wan't to keep for myself only, can i not tell you?"

"you're unbelivable"

"yeah because i'm amazing " he chuckled and gun didn't help his self not to giggle but he stopped laughing when he realized what he had done so he immediately take back his action, but did not escape with off he was aware of it.

he sigh and sat properly as he fix his sight at him "gun..." he called for his name and gun looked at him with confusing expression "what?"

"i'm sorry " he gently said , and with a glimpse gun lost again. He was lost by his words, he was lost the way the guy looked at him and he hates it. he hates it because he loves it, Gun is such a weak when it comes to him. 

"sorry...?"

"sorry for being an asshole , sorry for breaking you, sorry for being inconsiderate, sorry for ruinning everything ...sorry for making you cry especially at your birthday ...i'm sorry for everything gun" he sinceirly said

as his heart ache from the pain, he felt relief somehow . he will admit that it hurts to hear him apologizing about the aches he caused because it seems he indicates the closure they deserve. but somehow ... he felt at ease because it seems like the new phase of his life will gradually begin where he can rise from the fall.

"it hurts off i'll admit but i'm too insensitive to feel that pain...especially when i'm already used to it , crying everynight...it was actually over because i'm so tired crying at something i knew it will be so pointless, however thank you for apologizing ...i felt relief" he admit and genuinely smile at him

Off stared at him for a second, he felt odd he should be happy but it feels something wrong that he didn't like it. he doesn't mean that he want gun always feel pain but he doesn't want either to end everything and it's confusing him as hell especially when he doesn't get himself anymore.

"g-gun...."

"mmm?"

"A-are you free today?" he nervously asked as his heart skipped a beat because he was nervous that gun might reject his invitation ,of course spite of everything he caused at him who's in right sense will agree ? 

Gun surmise it, should he?

"what for?" 

"what do you want...the false or the truth" he asked and put his chin at his palms 

"Who would like to hear false? of course the truth" he said and get his coffee to drink it

"I miss hanging out with you just like the old days" he seriously said while admiring the beauty of a masterpiece in front him

"am i joke to you?"

"i guess that was too much " off said and stooped down his head as a sign of dissapointment. However gun felt an ache when he saw how sadly off's eyes even against his own will he felt he wanted to see only happiness on him as he vows...but is it really against his will even though spite he want's to get over from off ...he still want to stay beside me,arghh that is totally sane

" i miss those times too" he said and turned away his gaze. 

Off raised his head instantly as soon he heared what he just said , he felt a big smile was writtem on his face as his heart starts to pound because of excitment and joy at the same time.

'it wouldn't hurt to be selfish at least once?'

"so...just like the old days?" Off asked 

"it seems so"

* * *

"So what do you wanna watch?" Off said while he was holding a large container of popcorn in his left hand while in his right he was holding two soft drinks, because he said he did not want to lift him considering he invited him so he wants to take the charge of everything and gun just let him be "The Run Away Bride nor A Walk To Remember?"

"realistacally i don't like the idea about the run away bride?"

"why?"

"simple, Maggi always chose to runaway whenever she felt asure and i don't like it...why would you even bother to runaway when from the beggining you're asure and no words to keep. Just step back before saying yes than giving someone a falsehope" gun said ,off looked at him and he felt said for what the latter has said because he was no difference with Maggi, He chose to runaway than fix and throw those 6 years they spent together.

"But Maggi had her reason"

"But running away is not an option,it is her choice" gun putted his hands inside his pockets,he didn't mean to say it like he was talking about off, he was talking about himself, rather than finding a solution with his problems and kept fighting he chose to runaway instead. He runaway from all his troubles ,he runaway because he was so tired believing some lies ,he runaway because he wanna be free...even for a while. He sigh with that thought 

"Are we still talking about the movie?"

"Yes because i don't mean it in other way,you know me off"

"If you said so,then let's deal with A Walk To Remember?"s

"i'd rather"

"since when did you liked tragic endings?" he curiously asked because he founf it odd especially the wasn't fan of tragics it's more on happy endings

"since you left me" gun said and smiled at him while off froze for a moment , gun turn his gaze at what he was carrying and he reach for it "i'll wait you at the entrance buy the ticket first " he said and left him dumfounded

Off, little by little he felt the pain in his heart as if stabbed by a thorn. he can't help not to feel sad, why is he so stupid to throw all those things they've shared? is he that asshole enough to neglect everything just because of one stupid reason 

' if i could only make things right, if i could only rewrite the stars for us, if i could only be the writter of our story....maybe we won't get hurt '

He just shook his head and release a heavy breath as he go to buy a ticket. once he bought he instantly went at the entrance of ROOM B where gun was standing while zoning out like he was thinking about something deeply that has no solution to resolve it no matter what happen nor there's no way. He walks toward him and it looks like gun didn't notice him.

"penny for your thoughts?" Off asked made gun startled 

"oh you were there"

"kinda , are you alright?" off wasa concern.

"Of course , why not? have you alread bought some tickets?" as he change the conversation, inasmuch he doesn't want off to ask about it anymore considering he knows off won't leave him alone unless he spill his problems and he doesn't wanna tell him about it especially mild is included with it because he was still bothered with their conversation yesterday , it isn't something like he doesnt't trust the young lady but he's scared that she'll use against him to come back...

"oh yes"

"great, then shall we? i wanna watch it already let's go" he said and off just agreed with him

when they entered the cinema the atmosphere was very dark and gun seemed difficult to see but his heart pounded when he felt someone holding his hands because off held his hand to support him, even though he was surprised gun just let him because he doesn't want to ruined the moment. They slowly take every step that seems to be very dangerous that any moment they would fall nor hurt each other ... they have just decided to sit in the middle so that they can see the whole screen.

As the show begin , they've remain silent and focus on the show. Off wasn't fan of romantic films but this story caught his attention , as the story goes by he seemingly likes the story especially when Jamie confess that she is dying 

It feels odd but painful story at the same time... Jamie and Landon love seems like a rose that is very beautiful and everyone seems to be attracted but because destiny is cruel, the flower gradually loses its meaning because no matter what you do you can not return it to its former red and captivated beauty.

' _are you scared?' landon asked to jaimie a sad smile was written on her face_

_'to death?' pain was crossed at landon face therefore jaimie approches him 'my love'_

_'that's not funny' he hissed, a tear began to stream down to her cheeks as she rest her temple to hiss_

_'i'm scared of not being with you' she said_

Those lines... 25 letters, 7 words grave at Off's heart. He doesn't know why but he cried as the protagonist let go of her dialogues, he felt the pain but the sinceirly love was there, she was scared of leaving him alone especially her life can no longer guarantee until when she will last but she was more scared not being with him...

They did not realize that the show was over because they could feel the pain and beauty of the story

"did you like the movie?" Gun asked at off

"not bad"

"psh yeah i can see, you even cried for it" gun teased off made the latter's face turn into red 

"hey that's not true!" he denies

"yeah yeah convince yourself" he said and they just chuckled.

For a moment they felt a genuine happiness like they used to be before, no worries, no troubles , only the two of them but somehow it hurts because   
even as if they were back to normal there's no them anymore that they can call 'us'

"wanna grab some plates?" 

attphan stopped walking and his smile gradually faded

'should I say yes? ... why are you so stupid and weak gun when it comes to him'

gun shifted his gaze to off and smiled sweetly at it "i won't mind"

"then just like the old place?" 

"yeah on our favorite resto" Off's grin grew wider and because of overwhelmed he grabbed gun's wrist and rush toward their favorite resto .when they arrived at their favorite resto they immediately ordered food, then off and gun went on their usual spot when they used to go at that resto considering it's one of their usual hangout place, while they were waiting for food to arrive they've decided to talk about the movie they've watched

"but i just feel bad that fate could be cruel some time, even their ill-fated love story eneded you can still the firm love of landon for jamie" gun said 

"yeah , especially the last line landon had said ...love is like the wind you can't see it but you can feel it" 

"by the way how's mild?" gun asked without looking at him and pretend like he was searching something from his bag . Gund didn't know what's gotten into his mind to ask a question about them when in fact he'll get hurt...he guess he isn't in his right sense anymore

"well...we're doing good so far" he shortly replied so he looked up at off

"something is off?"

"no not really , we've been just both busy these few days therefore i haven't too much time to hangout with her" and gun just smiled at him sparingly and turn away his gaze

"how about oab yiu haven't still answer my question earlier" off said as if he hadn't some confliction about oab 

"oh he's apparently out of town for business and it might took him a week there but he didn't lose time to keep in touch with me" he said and of nodded

"good then" he bitterly said and un explainable exprassion crossed into off's face. After a minute their order has already arrived. They were just talking about somestuff's like after a conversation another one will come , just like they're doesn't seem to run out of topics.

but off paused when he saw a smudge at the corner of Gun's lips therefore he immidiately get his handkerchief from his packot and wipe gun's smudge.

Gun did not know how to feel,his heart began to race, especially when their eyes met, it was as if little by little he was feeling his face turn red so he just awkwardly smiled at him and turned his attention to food, and off just chuckled because of his cuteness.

when they already finish their meal they've decided to go home considering it's nearing late already therefore they're walking at the middle of the parking lot

"do you want me to take you home?" off asked at gun and the little guy shookt his head

"no don't worry i have my car with me beside i badly need to go home to finish my house chores because mom and dad will arrive on saturday" he respond

"do they already know?"

" i don't have the courage"

"then...i'll stay besides you when the day comes"

"if that happens" he jokes

"oh too bad, then can i just take you home?"

" i have my car with me"

"anyway gun"

"hmm?" he humed while he's smiling

"if you have three wishes what will it be?" off asked out of no where

"that's so random" and he act like he was thinking but gun hasn't still answering him until they've reach his car

"we're here " off said

"yeah so i'll go ahead now" gun said and off noded

"take care"

"like wise" gun answered but before gun get in his car he turn around to face off

"My first wish is to roll back the clock so i can come back to the past"

"what do you mean"

"those times that we were still happy " gun sinceirly said making off quiet

"how about the 2 wishes?"

"can i just tell you once i've decided?"

"of course you do " and he smiled at him

"then i'll off now, i had so much fun that's a genuin fact i'm not pretending" and off noded his head "i had fun too, take care" ,gun waved his hand and turned the engine of his car, he stared at it until its figure gradually disappeared and he sigh

_'i missed you..'_

* * *

Gun was sitting at his couch where he's across the window of his condo overlooking the whole city while he's reading a book and sipping his tea as he enjoy the aroma itself

Yesterday when off asked him to grab a food he didn't want to refuse his offer but he just had some errands to do and that is to clean his unit considering his parents will stay at his condo for 3 days

He was resting his head at the arm of his couch when his door bells.he suddenly wondered because he did not expect a guest, is it mild again? but he knows the girl has a job now, it's impossible oab too especially he's out of town because of bussiness...who might be

He get up to get the door and as he open the door and to his surprise he found off standing infront of his unit

"Off what are you doing here?" 

"well i'm here to roll back the clock"

"what are you talking about"he confusingly asked because he doesn't get what off is trying to point out 

"i'm here to grant your first wish "

"what for?"

"i was being an asshole, i was an ass for breaking your heart and i wanna fix it somehow even though i know it's impossible"

"You don't have to do this off"

"but i want to, and even if you don't want i'll still insist it" gun was about to respond when off pulled him close as he trap him between his arms "i want to rollback the clock somehow gun, i want to be happy as well like how we used to be, i wanna search for myself again...can you?" he pleaded 

"off"

"please"

"off--"

"please don't---"

"try to interrupt me again and i'll kick your balls" off instantly pulled out from the hug and he rubbed his hand over the back of his head

"but you used to love this bal---kidding" he gulped as gun glared at him

"where are we heading to?" gun asked, a joy acroos at off's face which made gun happy as well because we badly knows how gun loves seeing his love of his life happy , who is he to take away his happiness?

"You'll know that once we get there"

* * *

  
He reached out his hand to feel the wind coming from outside and he opened the window wide to greet thefresh wind. he feels that all his tiredness and problems are slowly disappearing, it seems like it has been a long time since he last took a vacation especially of what happened ... he is happy even if it is only for a short time inasmuch the man just fulfilled his wish and he is happy with it. and that's already enough

Off said he to bring clothes for 3-4 days because they will stay where they are heading for 3 days, he is really wondering where they are going to but he just let the man whatever his plan is considering he also does not want to to kill the joy

The latter was driving now while he was looking at the scene and enjoying the wind coming from outside, Off said the trip will took a long time so he decided to take a nap first because he was also a bit impatient when it comes to trip

As the time passed he woke up when he felt hands tapping him therefore he opened his eyes and found out that off was wakinh him up

"Have i fall asleep" he asked while robbing his eyes ,off chuckle

"What's odd about it? You always fall asleep whenever the trip is long but yeah you are" Off teased and Gun just snorted 

"We're here?" And off humed as an answer

"Yes so we need to get off now"

When they get out of the car, a house and sea greeted gun and if you're going to analyse it ,it's a vacation house, the shelter isn't that but not small as well , just a perfect home to stay for.

Gun couldn't help but be amazed especially the house isn't far from the house he dreamed of,simple but with comfort and happiness....however how did it happen, that's strange.

"Did you like it?" The guy who's standing beside him asked.

"I like it here" and he close his eyes to greet the fresh air coming from the sea "i felt peace"

"It's good then i'm glad you like it" a smile crossed his features, he left his hand inside of his pocket as he close his eyes to feel the warm wind coming from the sea. Gun stared at him to memorise each of his features "I know how good looking i am , be careful you might missed it" he cracks

"That's why i'm memorising it,so once we parted away i can carry your good memories and the smile with me"

Off slowly open his eyes, and turn hi gaze at him who's no fixing his eyes at the beautiful blue sparkling sea "gun..."

"Hmm"

"Can we forget about the reality for a while?" Gun looked at him curiously and his breath became shallowly , he reached out for his hand and hold it closer and trail his thumbs through his fingers as he analyzing the masterpiece "we....it's only you and me and i want to make you smile even for the last like you always do to me. Let's runaway for awhile like nothing happened"

"Off---"

"Can this asshole be your boyfriend for a day even though he hurt you ?well this jerk hurt you for the better" he turn his sight at him and pulled his neck into his chest and hug him fleeing a zone out gun.

* * *

  
Gun could not explain how he felt about what was happening. Is this right? Is it alright to be stupid? Is it right for him to gamble even if he gets hurt again? is it wrong?...

but he just wants to be happy ...

Honestly gun was left speechless , he doesn't know what to say as his heart began to race he was surprised by him. The only thing he could not understand was why the young man acted like that, inasmuch there was something strange that he could not understand, and he was confused ...

and he was even more confused as off became extra sweet, every time it became sweet it was inevitable that his heart would race over and over again 

he just sighed because of his thoughts. gun is currently standing on the veranda and it's already 5pm ,time passes briefly ... he had been observing the beautiful scenery since earlier and despite what happened he still can't help not to feel fascinated and he was somehow happy with what happened

Maybe he should just make the most of it ... there is nothing wrong with fleeing from reality, right?

while he was looking at the sea ,suddenly someone knock at the door, so he immediately opened it considering it might be off especially when the latter went off somewhere because he said he need to do something so he let the guy because it might be emergency.

"hey" off greeted

"hi..." gun said and turn away his gaze

'err what are you gun ? a highschool you're already 25 for pete sake get your act together' he scold himself

the room filled of silence ,doesn't know how to break the ice. Off felt awkward as well because of what he said earlier because who will in right sense ask your ex to be together for a day spite of the sorrow you did on your ex? it doesn't make any sense although he doesn't have any plans to take it back because he's a man who doesn't take back what he mean. Off cleared his throat

"ahm were you doing something?" he asked gun instantly shookt his head

"no ... why?"

"great then shall we?" 

"huh where?" he asked , off reach out for his hand and grabbed him "you'll know later once we get there" he said and gun just let the guy whatever might be his explosion.

they walked down a narrow hallway and as they turned they took a step towards a glass door and his eyes widened as he saw there were rose petals on the floor, but when off opened the glass door gun was even more surprised to realize off set a picnic date. they were on a wide balcony and the scenery was full of rose petals and candle lights while a red blanket was lying on the floor with a basket and he guessed there's a food inside of it.

"off what is this?" he curiosly asked but the latter didn't respond by his question and instead he grabbed toward the blanket and held him to sit there then off sat down next to him and took the food inside the basket and placed one by one in front of them. he learned that off prepared mostly his favorites which are BBQ , pasta with basel leaves (Pesto) and ofcourse desert , blueberry cheescake...he felt as if something had touched his heart because of what the man had done

"off you haven't still answered my question" he repeated this time off look at him and smile, he sat properly and faced him

"i'll give you 3 reason" he started and gun's browed began to arched as he get confused by how he act. "first, because i ruined your birthday i wanna make up with you after the chaos i've caused on your birthday and no i don't feel guilty i just wanted it, second i want to make you smile as well even for briefly " he said and locked his eyes at him and gun was lost on his eyes didn't know what to do as his heart was pounding because of excitement when he doesn't even know why he feel excited. Off get a can of beer and opened it and gave to gun and the guy accepted it "third...." off turn away his sight and looked up in the sky "i missed you..." he profess

"off..."

"yeah i know that's an asshole move ,i might be selfish , those words i've left on your birthday i don't really mean it when you asked me to keep you while i'm waitingg for someone to fulfilled the love i want.. i actually haa what's the right term to say it?happy? agree? i don't know i felt a relief somehow because i was scared to lose you as well but i don't want hurt you i fon't know i don't understand my self anymore i feel like a shit" he said and gun sigh and look at the sky and he just realised how perfect their spot is, because they could see the sky with bunch of dust sparking like a crystal above ... if there's nothing change between of them that is they still love to gaze at the skyline.

"hmm i agree you're a shitty"

"i've been knew it"

"you're a shit for confusing me off" he said and took a sip on his can "i just don't understand you, you slipt away from me because you're not happy with me, the old flames seems has no chance to rekindle that's why i let you go...you met mild and i can clearly see how she makes you smile...but here you are sticking around me , destiny always brought us together when in fact we already finished our business" and tears wanted to form on his eyes but this time gun didn't let his self to shred again ...not infront of him

'it's just i feel like shit off...i love you and yes i'm a fool and weak when it comes to you but i don't have an idea why are you being like this? you wanted this right? but why are you making hard this for me? why are you playing with my feelings? i love you but please stop playing with my feelings...it hurts as hell you're just making the situation worst ' 

gun wanted to say it but he is too scared and hurt to tell off the words he wants to say ... scared ... he is afraid that by some mistake he will wake up to reality ... it hurts ... because even though he knows off was just pretending that he loves him now, that they cameback from the past he doesn't want to hear from his lips that everything...that he's pretending otherwise he'll burst again.

"i guess that because i was born jerk" he said and sigh

"nonsense" and off chuckled

"why were you wanted to rollback the clock?" gun rest his chin over his knees and look at him

"you already know "

"i just want to hear again" off siad without looking at him, seems off was in deep though, gun wanted to ask off but he knows it isn't his business anymore...

"honestly There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, i want to feel the love we had , i want to smile like i used to smile when you were still holding my hand that's my reason... but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well because those joy aren't real as before owing to the fact...i'm not in reality anymore.”

"i'm sorry..."

"can you stop being sorry" he said and look at off "because i hate it off, i hate your symphatize..i hate those eyes who's looking at me with pity and i hate it because i have to accept those looks because..." he lookes up so his tears wont stream down "i love you so much that i have to bear it"  
he felt the tightness in his chest, even though it hurt that it still came from him but he could not pretend to be a fool ... even if the truth is he is a fool when it comes to him

off stooped down his head and felt a pich of ache on his heart . he feel bad because all this time the latter was thinking that he feels just sorry to him, he wanted to correct him but he doesn't know why

"i'm such a fool"gun whispered but off overheared it

"you aren't " off refused

"i am off" and he sadly smiled at him "remember i have my 2 wish left" and off noded even though it was out of the topic.... that was random

"are you willing to do it?"

"as long i live i can do for you"

"then ...can you say you love me"gun's voice cracked. his voice began to trembled he may not crying but the ache that he's feeling inside is enough to cross his face 

Off froze for a moment he doesn't know what to do. Gun just asked him to say that he love him even if..

" gun.."

"That's ny second wish...we're just pretending right? Let's just make the most if it off,because after all this shit ...we're totally done" Off didn't like what gun just said he doesn't like the idea having a finish business with him.

He doesn't know how things briefly happened but he just found himself getting drawn by the kisses of his ex boyfriend and like a bad habbit he responds with his kisses. Off held his neck to deepen the kiss and suck his lower lip ,because of that his lips parted and the latter found an opportunity to slip his tongue and their tounge were dancing with the rhyme as they collide. Gun's travelled at his shoulder and like in a cliché scenes, a tear drop flow down to their cheeks . they both parted as they lack out of breath

"I love you....i love you so much " off said and brush off his lips into him

'Even though it's just a lie....my heart is already contenred because for the last time he heared him saying those words'

* * *

Off and gun are both lying at the same bed, but don't get them wrong nothing happen between of them,they're not the typical person who'll get further,but if they were their old safe maybe something will happen...but they're not going to avenge the situation...not him.

He already fall asleep while gun is still up glancing at the guy who's peacefully sleeping beside him while hugging him. He let out of breath and brushed off the younger's hair who's covering Off's eye

Maybe if other people seeing them and know about their situation they might laugh their ass off, especially how complicated their situation like; two lovers no---two old lovers who's sticking around each other like nothing happen where the ex lover asked to keep him while his ex is waiting for the one who will change him and now they're back together for a day just because of stupid wishes and bla bla. 

It's just that doesn't make sense are they dumb or what? Were they lack of attention from their parents that's why they grew up fool nor they don't have the world 'Delicacy'

Gun Let out of breath and trail his finger at the latter's feature ,and just like before he can't help not to be mesmerized by his good looking face, his pale skin, kissable rose lips, his slender eyes,thick eye brow ,long eye lashes and his long pointed nose

He suddenly recall those time that everytime he open his eyes Off's face will greet him who's smiling big at him and just because of those smile is the reason completes his day, all his tiredness is vanished like a mist and those smile of off is the reason why he's still kicking alive.

But now he woke up and begin his day without the latter's smile anymore like he used to have. and the insatiable satiated episode of gun's drama brought his tears down again, how long do he have to cry for him ?

Gun brought his hand at off's eyes and covered it ,he's afraid that the latter might awaken and he doesn't want him to witness crying infront of him because he knows off might blame his self over and over again

"After this,what's gonna happen to us?are we totally over? Should i let you go finally? I love you off but i'm starting to lose myself,i can't help not to feel pity for myself,although i know i have the reason why i'm still saying beside you ,i know i have my reason for being such a fool for you. I wanna hate you,i wanna resent you a lot so much, i wanna get mad at you for hurting me, i wanna feel the anger like the others feels but i just can't....i know being mad at you is meaningless because even if i get mad at you that won't change the fact that i love you. I asked you such a stupid favor because i might be pathetic, like what? Who's in the right sense will ask an ex lover to keep him after you slipt away? Hold me while you wait? I just don't know why things turn out like this. How can it possibly happen that you felt odd owing to the fact you're not happy anymore,why off?where did i went wrong?where did my love lack? I gave you my everything...why do you have to vow some promises..." He felt a strong pain in his heart ,his chest began to rise and fall uncontrollably "w-why do you have to vow,if you're just going to leave it in vain? O-off w-when the day comes t-that i need to finally walk away...c-can you please not to watch me while i-i'm walking away from you,because i don't know how things will turn ...i'm afraid once i took the another path i might turn back for you , i'm afraid to see you crying ,i afraid you might look at me with those pity eyes ,i'm afraid that i love you so much..." He reach for the younger man's face and gently carresed his face and a sorrow smile crossed his face as his tears fell from his beautiful eyes.

He was admiring off and his making the most of it afraid that one day he may not able to get close at him,to touch him,to kiss him,to hug him,especially when... He can't guarantee how will things last.

  
gun let out of a breath " You're success is my success, You're pain is my Pain, You're Happiness is my Happiness, You're sorrows is mine as well because i love you and loving you means eternity and i vowed to join every journey you'll face even if it's going through rough time i'd still stays beside you , i will die first before to leave you hang in " as he sum up his vow "and part of loving you....is letting you go" 

He turned his gaze away and wipe his tears away "this is the last,just this once and i'll finally let you go" he said and hugged off.

But little did he know Off was just pretending to sleep because he doesn't want gun to feel pathetic once he finds out that he learn that he overheared everything from the beginning, a tear escape from his eyes and he pulled gun closer

'I know i'm such an asshole but i'm giving you my word ,before we finally parted our ways,i promise to give you everything,to put a smile on your sad face and to make you laugh for the last time before you finally walked away from me, i was asshole but this is for the best.'

* * *

The egg yolk sun poured through the cracks in the blind and awaited entrance into Gun's eyes. Sight still in the clutches of the night's glue, he hesitantly rubbed the dreams away. Thoughts of the visions in sleep come and go in waves, clinging on to the very last memory of the night but with little success. He slowly sat as he rest his palm against the sheet to support his weight but his nose began to crunch and he sniff to found where did the aroma came from and he learned it was by the guy who's sitting at the edge of the bed who's staring at him with admirationon his eyes as if he was a lion who's been captivated by his prey while his arms are folding and legs are crossed 

"Good Morning" Off Greeted and gun cleared his throat and greeted him back with softly voice owing to the fact he came from sleep afraid that the younger might smell his breath.

"M-morning"

"How's your sleep" He get up from sitting and walked toward the mini table where across the room and picked up the tray who filled with Bunch of Sandwich ,Bacon , Sausage and Latte , and it looks like that's where the fragrant aroma he smelled earlier came from,Off laid it besides him

"I kinda have hard time to sleep because you know it's really hard for me to adopt sleeping at others place"

"But i'm not others" Off said and innocently said at him

"H-huh n-no that isn't w-what i---"

"Kidding Hahahahah" Off chuckled and gun rolled his eyes and glared at him

"What a punk" he mumbled, off grabbed his cheek and pinch it reason for him to whines"Ahhh Off let go of my cheek you prick!!!" 

"Sorry" and Off giggle "you are just too cute to resist" he rest his hand below his tummy as his laugh burst.

  
"You always making fun of me"

"Hey not always!" He denies

"Oh yeah,most of the time" and off just shook his head while he chuckles as how gun acted

"Anyway here's your breakfast, hope you like it"

"Hmm break fast in bed,what's gotten into you?" Gun teased off and looked at him as his eyebrows are up and down ,off snorted at the latter

"Nothing can't i be just sweet?"

"Sweet? You don't have sweet on your bones" Gun held his laugh as Off face turn into frown. Gun was enjoying of making fun of him , especially when his lips pouted sign of annoyance

"Hey for you information your heart always flatter whenever i turn into romantic person,you know that because you're face always turn into tomate like what you are doing now" off teased back therefore gun turned his attrntion to his food to hide his embarrassment,off shook his head and giggled

"Shut up"

Off get something from his pocket and extand his hand to give on gun, the latter raised his head and confusely look at him but Off gave him 'just-get-it-no-more-buts' look so gun just accepted it. It was a small black box ,he open it with careful.

He's eyes grew when he founds that it was the ring who caught his attention,The gold forms the sun of the four stars, and its diamond is black. The inside of the sun itself there's the waning crescent is also a small black diamond, the ring he've been wanted considering it is not ordinary ring

"Hey where did you get this" He asked whh his eyes are sparkling because of Joyness and can't take off his eyes with it

"I was passing through on a shop then a ring caught my attention and no lies, it reminds me of you and i didn't hesistate to buy it for you, it is actually my birthday gift hope you like it" Off shyly said and rubbed his hand iver the back of his head

"Are you nuts? I love it! I really love this ring it actually caught my attention too,but sadly the ring wasn't available anymore inasmuch it's a limited edition" he take a glanced at him and sweetly smiled at him "but thankyou off you made me happy" he said 

He open his arms "should i deserve a thank you hug?" Gun chuckled and instantly throw himself upon him

"Thank you" Off rested his chin on his shoulder

"As long you're smiling i'm happy"

'At least i made him smile ,despite the aches i've caused'

* * *

Gun is still mesmerising the ring slipped in his finger ,owing to the fact aside it was came from off, he just so inlove with this ring it's just there something about the ring that his heart is attached on it . he trails his finger at the twirled it

' _Amazing...'_

He was dazed off when he felt someone spilt some water on his face, he lift his head and glared the one who caused it.

Off looked at him innocently and blink his eyes as if he was an innocent that didn't cause any crime, off gave him a 'what-are-you-looking-at?' Look

He rolled his eyes at the air and ignore him, off giggled and messed his hair reason for gun to groan in annoyance

"Don't you have to do something?" He said in irritated voic

"Nahh,you're too captivated at your ring" he franks

"I do" he answered right away

"Should i get jealous"

"Suit your self" he lifeless said and came back to his own world like off isn't existing . he clicked his tongue and shook his head sign of unbelievable

"Hey Little mouse!" He called his attention

"What!?" He's brows arche

"Should i take that back" Gun immediately dive his hand near to his chest and cover it using his other hand and instantly shook his head in exaggerated way, off snorted

"No way!!! " Off can't help not to let out a laughter, a smile was written over their face. They feel so happy at the moment, It feels like the time rollback and they comeback at their old selves, their Joy are genuine, Less Pain, no pretending, Less tears, Just Happiness....it's just the two of them, the real.

"Then help me here" and he pointed the ingredients infront of them. They're apparently at the kitchen and off decided to cook but the thing is he's lack of skill when it comes to cooking he can only do is to fry sometimes he even failed to fry the egg,but thanks to gun he learned somehow to cook...i mean how to fry a food properly .

Gun pouted his lips and crunch his nose ,he isn't really in the mood to cook but he knows off. Off is Off and Off wouldn't leave him alone until he says yes

"As if i have choice" he whispered and went besides off "what are we going to cook?" Off put his pointed finger at his chin and acted like he was thinking

'He insist me to cook yet he's still undecided,this punk tch'

"What about....Paella?" And he raised his brow,Gun's hands went the side of his waist and his brow arches

"You know that i have lack of skills cooking paella right!?"

"It won't hurt to try isn't" 

'As if i have a choice'

Gun began to ready the ingredients,he gets his phone and open the youtube app to watch a tutorial of 'how to cook paella PROPERLY' . he didn't have the hard time to learn the way of cooking it ,owing to the fact gun is a fast learner. As Gun starts to whirled the rice but off is such prick therefore a clever idea came to his mind he gently trail his finger at the side of gun's waist and poked him make the latter jump 

"What the! Don't you dare off"

"I dare" and off started to tickle gun and gun didn't know what to do he can't get out of his grip. Gun burst into laugh reason for off to tickled him more. As off kept poking his side their nose accidentally bumped and they realise how close they are to each other. Off was behind him where his arms are wrapped around his waist while gun's hands are above of his arms and one wrong move their lips will touch in a glimpse.

Their word suddenly stops for a while, gun felt a butterfly on his stomach as his heart began to race ,it seems they were lost in reality. Off's eyes landed at Gun's plump lips and he gulped as he felt attempted to kiss him. They locked their eyes at each other and it looks like their bodies have their own sense therefore Off sealed him with a kiss from the back.

First he gently brush his lips onto him, his grip tighten as he suck his lower lip. Gun opened his mouth to let the latter enter his, gun's lips is sweeter than the honey and it making him crazier and addicted. He already kissed him many times but the feeling of kissing him hasn't still change . He turned him around to kiss him properly,he pulled him closer by his neck to deepen the kiss as gun held off's shoulder to support his weight. As the further they kiss Off began to kiss him hungrily like a lion who's eager to eat his meal,and gun was his meal

He pinned him at tbe island counter while his left arm is around by the younger male's waist and the other one is resting against the island. When they lack out of breath Off's kisses trail down to his cheek ,he suck his jaw and licked his neck

A sweet moan escaped from gun's mouth and he failed to keep it,those moanss is like a music to Off's ear therefore he sucked his neck causing to leave a mark on his neck and he kissed his lips again but this time their hand began to travel. Off's hand slip under his shirt and draw some circles at his belly and he's moan caused to twitch Off's dick but then a doorbell made them stop for what they were doing and they just came back to their sense when they realize they are already making out

They both pulled from each other and turned their gaze away from each other because of embarrassment,the doorbell rang again and Gun cleared his throat

"I-i'll g-get the door" he said 

"H-ha ah y-yeah" Gun rush to leave the kitchen and he faced palm because of his stupidness , he wasn't thinking what might be the cause after the effect. He really needs a psychiatrist because Jane was right he was already lost his mind

But he wondered who might be the one who stopped them from making out, he checked himself befor to get the door,but as soon he open the door he rooted from his place as his eyes grew wider

'What is he doing here?'

"Oab..."

* * *

Oab just came back from his business trip and he right away went to gun considering how he longed for the younger as he enter Gun's condo unit ( Gun gave him a duplicate if ever something happen he can easily enter) but to his surprise the younger was no where to found. He thought the guy might went out to buy some stuff therefore he waited but it's already Past 10 but the younger is still no where to found,he's geart began to race because he's getting nervous and something might happen. 

As he walked every corner of the room he kept trying to call Gun but the latter is out reached made him more nervous, he get his coat at Gun's sofa and was about to left when he accidentally hit the envelope where placed above the side table of the couch

The papers inside the envelope shattered at the floor ,oab doesn't have a choice but to place it like before but as he pick the paper he accidentally read the written on it.

Oab's hands become to tremble,as his heart clench in pain, he keep insisting on his self that it was all a lie but he knew he was just fooling himself.

He immediately rushed at the parking lot and get in the car he started his engine and drive even though he doesn't know where to go , he tried to call him once again but gun is still out of reach . however he suddenly recalled Gun's cousin so he immediately call White. After 3 rings thankfully white answered it rightaway

(Hello oab?)

"White where's Gun!?" He greeted

(Huh?)

"Tell me where the fuck gun is!?" He furiously said

(Hey oab something happened!?)

"I already know everything!"

(W-what do you mean?)

"Everything about gun! Why didn't you tell me about it!"

(You mean---)

"Yes! How could you all try to hide it from me!?"

(Oab it is gun's decision he doesn't want to be burde--)

"Bullshit reasons!" White let out an heavy breath from the other line

(How did you know?)

"That's doesn't matter anymore,do you know where the fuck gun is !? I'm fucking worried!"

(Ok i'll send you the adress but oab please don't make a scene,he's with off...please understand him) Oab went silent he felt something stuck on his throat

"I-i will"

(Then.) 

White Drop off the called and sent right away the adress but before he go to his destination there he decided to straightly go at the hospital. After he arrived he rushly went at the information desk

"Where is Dra. Lapassalan!?" He asked and the girl looked at him with shock expression

"S-sir?"

"I SAID WHERE IS DRA. LAPASSALAN!?"

"D-do you have any a-appointment s-sir?"

"I DON'T FUCKING NEED AN APPOINTMENT JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FACT MILD LAPASSALAN IS!?" he angrily said as he hit the desk

"S-si---"

"What's this commotion all about?" A girl said out of nowhere ,oab immediately turn around and it was mild who's in White lab coat while her hands are inside of her pockets but the serious expression of Mild turn into shocked and pointed him "Oh!? You're oab right!? Gun's namgachingu!" She excitedly said

"Huh?"

"I mean boyfriend?how can i help you!" She said while smiling at him, oab walked towards her and held her wrist made the woman startled

"Hey what are you doing!?" The guards where about to stop oab but mild signal them thag she can handle him

"You need to go with me!"

"Omo!? Are you asking me a date how agressive your way are!!!" Oab stoped from walking and turned around to face her

"What!?" He unbelievably hissed

"I know that i'm beautiful but i'm not yet ready to mingle ---"

"Stop jumping into your illusion , i'm not interested with you" he said and open his car "get in NOW" Mild jump as she startled therefore he obeyed oab and get in . As oab get as well in his car he started he engine

"Hey can you freaking answer me where are you bringing me!?" Mild began to lose her control

"We're going to your man because it seems he mistakenly get mine, so collect your man afterwards" 

"My man!?"

"Off,he's getting into my way"

Mild didn't bother to respond because it seems she already know what's going on, she let out of breath and place her chin above her hand like and deeply thoughts went in her mind, this is gonna be a chaos

After a few hours, they reached their destination because the man drove fast even though she wanted to complain she could not do anything because it looked like the young man was not in the mood so she just prayed while they were in the middle of the trip. At first they got lost so it was noon before they arrived

Oab get off immediately at his car headed right away at the house and didn't hesitate to ring the bell. As the door opens Gun greeted him as the younger eyes began to grew and confiusion written all over his face

"Oab..." He instantly grabbed gun and hug him tight and his tears began to flow as he clench his shirt because the pain he's feeling right now even though he wants to erase it there's no way to remove it . Gun robbed his back to comfort him "o-oab are you alright?" 

"No i'm not and i hate you" 

"H-huh"

"I hate you but i still love you, and i love you very much and it hurts as hell gun, whd do it hurts to love you gun?" Gun didn't know how to approach oab considering he felt so confuse of how Oab acted infront of him , but then he froze when mild suddenly came from oab's back and looking at him sadly.

"G-gun"

"Gun who's it---Oab ,Mild?" Off shocked muttered, he was surprised to see the two person he didn't exepect,but what made him more surprise oab is crying over Gun's shoulder...and he hates it! "What the fuck are you doing here Oab!?and why mild is with you!?" He said ask he glared at him

Oab pulled out from hugging gun and held gun's wrist "i'm here to claim Gun because it seems you mistakenly took my person, and i object to let you go near him. Therefore i brought your woman because you might get confused,i don't need any explanation i'm not here to cause a scene" he said and drag gun out of the place but then ghet suddenly stopped from walking when Off grabbed Gun's arm

"I'm not letting you!" Off refused ,oab turned around to face off and sarcastically laugh

"And who are you to stop us!?"

"I-i..." Off suddenly lost his words, because oab was right who is he to stop them from going away when he's just an ex who has complicated relationship with his ex.

"You're no one right!? You don't have the rights anymore so just fucking let go off him!" But off didn't still flinch instead he took a glance at Gun and looked at him meaningfully 

"Let's go gun" And was about to grab Gun again but gun didn't let him to grabbed

"L-let me go Oab.." Gun said while he's still looking at gun with teary eye

"Don't you dare Gun! I'm fucking serious!" 

"J-just this once oab,i'll over this...i'll go after you" he plead and he turn his sight at him "please..."

Pain crossed his face, even though Off throw him away he'll still choose him all over again,but he can't complain he's just someone who's seeking for his love and attention and even though he's not the protagonist of this story, he doesn't want either to be the villain. Oab slowly nodded, he stepped back and turned around and headed to his car

Gun faced off who is sorrowfuly looking at him, A sad smile crossed his face, and He knew right then what he was trying to tell him. Her eyes never left his as he finally said the words that shuttered his heart.

"T-this might be the end..." He bite his lip to prevent his tears to flow "T-thank you for everything off, i've finally made up my mind, i should officially let you go therefore we can avoid hurting each other..." However gun's tears betrayed him as he shredded " Off enjoy your life, we only live once so let's make the most of it, filled your dreams that you've plans before, live to the fullest that's i'm hoping for you and mild...Mild is such an amazing woman i felt relief if you'll end up with her, i can see that she'll love you more than i did, she's the one who would join and help you for achieving your goals, she's the one who can give you a happy family that i know you'll never have the chance to build with me. So please love her to the fullest, love her more than you loved me, don't repeat the history itself she's a keeper" gun reached for his face and wiped off' the latter's face and sweetly but with sad smile "your happiness is the only matter for me from the beginning, i once told to myself that 'ah i'll just officially let him go once his search is finally over,once i see him smiling from ear to ear as his eyes sparkled with it because that's the only matter,and pain? Pain means nothing to ne as long you are happy" 

"G-gun i-i'm sorry" and he burst as he repeat it over abd over again , gun shook his head and sniffed,he cupped off's face

"Look Off, look at me" off obeyed him "i might feel hurt for now,but this will passed,i'm a strong person. And even if we took a different paths, you will always have a place in my heart,you will always be special to me, and i didn't regret loving you because you are the reason why i became a better person, you...you will always be my Greatest Love Off,only you" Off didn't hesitate to pull him closer and hug him tight,and gun hug him back

As the two old flames heart slowly tear apart as their world fall apart, it is really hurt to say good bye at someone who had a big part of your life, it wasn't easy. There's a famous saying that 'People will always come and leave our life to give us a Lesson' but it depends on that person who became a part of your life especially if that person taught you so many things in life. You can't just erase everything with a snap whenever you want because life isn't that easy. Maybe if there's something they taught for each other that is ....to conquer the odds, to be just what they are, to be each other's rely. They may not end up together but they claimed each other as thei Greatest Love.

"T-thank you for everything gun,thank you for holding ne while i wait for someone, thankyou for being my strength, thank you for loving ne e-even though i caused you a lot of pain...you will always have a big place in my heart gun because you are the one who taught me what is love, those 6 years i spent with you was the happiest...it's just sad that our fate has to end here because i don't wanna hurt you anymore...even if it's hard for me to let you go as well, i'll let you go because i don't want to be unfair...the pain i've caused you is already enough you don't deserve a jerk like me who can't keep a precious like you" Gun shook his head while he's stll at his chest

"No off you are not a jerk...we are not just meant for each other, that's all we only meant to meet but not to last for a lifetime"

"I love you gun...you'll always be my greatest love" he whispered and cupped gun's face 

' _Fate is such a cruel, but love is the worst'_

"I love you more , and loving you means eternity" he lift his two hands and use his palm to wipes of Off's tears " _But part of loving you...is to let you go"_

" **Be happy gun"**

**"Be happy Off"**

Off noded his head and let go of Gun, as the latter slowly walked away he slowly losing his world he felt empty when he finally slipped away, it feels like he wanted to pull him back and keep him into their warms but he can't....all he can remember is the smile of gun who's telling him to live to the fullest

As soon as Gun entered oab's car he held his heart and cried over the top of his lungs , even if it's really hard for him to let him go he have to, this is for their own good sake. He hit his heart but he was too numb too feel it because no one can describe his pain right now,owing to the fact this is the worst.

'I love you off...even for the last time'

"Gun please stop crying it hurst me as well,and it feels like hell" Oab said while he's tearing and looking at him

"It hurts oab, it hurts so much as well to the point i feel numb"

" i know gun,because that's how i feel right now especially when i learned the truth about you" Oab frankly said made Gun froze 

"What d-do you mean" he unbelievably said

"It hurts that no matter what i do you can still see me but that's alright but what hurt me the most is when i learned all about you, it really fucking hurts and i don't know if you can still call this pain because i don't know how to describe this pain. I feel so hurt because of the truth so please gun don't cause ne an another heart ache because i can't handle it" and he instantly pulled him close to hug him and let gun to cry on his shoulder, fate is such cruel for being unfair and unreasonable

Off witnessed the scenario from the beggining but he can't do nothing, he can't because he believes gun will only find his happiness by someone else's arms and not him,osb is the one who could fulfilled it.

' _This is already the end my love, maybe if i wasn't a coward...i can still hold onto us, I'm sorry my love you don't deserve me'_

**END OF CHAPTER FIVE.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a week before to update because these past few days i was so stress i didn't know how to compose the chapter that each of you will like it. It feels like i was lost in translation while composing this chapter therefore i'm hoping that you like this chapter, and just like before leave your thoughts below and click the kudos button! 
> 
> For More Follow me on my twitter for socmed au's : @heavenlyeuri
> 
> PS: Click the next chapter i've updated 2 chap.


	7. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a very short update.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**No one in this world deserve pain. Sometimes, the worst experiences are also blessings. Always remember that**

_"I'm good at waiting ,even if it takes 100 or 1000 times it's alright for me to wait for him , But i'm afraid that one day i may not have to wait for him anymore" - O_

* * *

Gun's face is beet red and his skin glistens in a way that has Oab worried. His lips are puffed out and the skin on them shows the first signs of dehydration. Even stripped down he's burning at all he can do is open the window to let the fresh wind to him some good , and he swear to god he's worried.

He place his hand over the younger's temple to measure his temperature and he hissed when he found out that gun is already burning as flame

"Fuck gun you're burning as hell" Oab hissed, Gun shook his head and glanced at him with half-open eyes

"Don't worry this is only a slight fever?" he said and position himself to sit, Oab clicked his tongue and shook his head sign that he isn't convinced

"I'm not that dumb Gun, ain't convince hang there I'll just get you some soup," He said and left his bedroom. Gun let out of sigh because whatever he does, Oab already fix his mind and no one can change it. 

Since the incident happened, Gun Officially lost his touch with Off and it has already been 3 days since they parted their ways. Some of the time he wants to send a message nor call him and as he found himself holding his phone he'll instantly cancel his compositions as he realised he's making another mistake, He'll just throw his phone at the side of his bed,curled under his blanket like a cat, and yes crying over and over again that's his daily routine within those 3 days, He often sleep to the point he forgot to eat a meal ---well maybe at least one meal in a day.

'I wonder how's off, does he eats 3 times a day? Does he smile often? Do.... do he miss me as I miss him? Do he ever think about me like i often think about him? Do he ever cry his self to sleep? do he ever dreamt about me when he falls a sleep?do he ever attempt to send me a message just to ask how i'm doing?do he ever regret breaking up with me?... Stupid of course not you're such an idiot to wonder something that doesn't make any sense. Gun wake up Off is already making new memories with mild. Just stop being illusinate, you're just hurting your self'

He place his arm above his eyes and didn't think anything,he doesn't want to think for now...all he wants is space and peace for awhile. However he felt Oab presence when he smell some food and there's the guy holding a tray with a bowl and he guess it's congee based on how it smells.

"Here eat some congee" Oab said and scooped it then place on his mouth "Come on eat"

"But i don't have appetite" he complained like a child and folded his arm and kick the air using his legs, Oab rolled his eyes as how Stubborn gun is

"Stop acting like a child ,you need to eat especially you're getting thiner and pale this past few days what's gotten into you?" He snortted as Oab began t scold him again.

"I don't want"

"Eat otherwise i'll kiss you " Gun immediately gave the latter a glare

"Don't you dare"

Oab let out a breath "Then eat this you need to gain some strength, do you still drink your meds?" Oab asked but gun didn't respond him and ignore the latter he just decided to get the spoon from oab and Eat the congee even if he doesn't have the appetite. "So you didn't aren't you?" Still he doesn't get any response from the latter

"Gun don't you care about yourself?"

"I do care...that's why i finally let him go before i completely lose my self " he replied without looking at him and the room filled with silence. Oab shook his head and get his Car Key and Wallet

"I'll be back and once i cameback i won't tolerate your stubbornness anymore" he coldly said and left his condo unit.

He Understand Oab's concern but ....Gun is the problem, it's just doesn't make sense why do he have to insist? He's just fooling himself. He already half the bowl therefore he placed it at the tray, he stood up from the bed even though he feels weak he used his strength to stand up but he almost lost his balance, Honestly speaking aside that he has fever, his body aches without any reason and he seems to be running out of energy he just did not tell the young man about it because he didn't want to worry him and he doesn't want to be a bothersome at Oab.

He headed to his kitchen and as he took a small step forward his gaze began to blurd,his breath swiftly shortened, he felt dizzy caused to fall the food on the floor . He held the edge of the island counter and placed his hand at his head as it began to ache and it feels like something is hitting his head and he felt something run from his nose and it was a blood....he's nose is bleeding

_Gun's eyesight went black ,The floor swayed beneath him and the darkness consumed him._

* * *

Off is currently in the hospital and is sitting in the patient chair of Mild's Office. He just decided to visit the girl because after the incident they did not talk much especially he took the girl to her house . It's been 3 days since they completely parted ways .

He will admit that there are times when he wants to ask him how he is, if he's okay or what ,but fear triggered him whenever he attempts... afraid that he might commit a little mistake lead gun to get hurt again ....and he doesn't want that to happen.Therefore, these pasf few days he decided to entertain his self by working his ass , considering that's the only way he knows not too think the younger man... somehow.

The Door clicks ,Mild in Lab Coat stepped in and as she enter her eyes grew because she was surprised to See Off sitting comfortable at her Patients Chair especially they didn't make any plans.

"Off , What brings you here?" She asked and instantly went to her desk and sat infront of him

"I didn't know White Lab Coat really suits you" Off teased

"I know that i'm stunning but you haven't still answered my question what are you doing here?" She repeats and off snorted 

"Nothing, I'm getting bored in my office so I decided ...to pester you" He grin at her , Mild didn't like the idea especially seems the guy will ruin his day, and she is so done with him

"If you are going to pest me then leave the Office i wanna take a rest, i had to round at Three Hospital Because of my patients" She said and rest her head at her palms

"Owww seems the babygirl is really tired, do you want me to massage you" and he was about to go beside her but mild raised her leg to stop him

"Stop there or i'll really kick your ass" she threat 

"Chill i was just kidding no need to take it seriously" He said and Like a pupy obeyed mild. The room filled the silent as Off suddenly zone out

"So...how are you?" Mild began to break the silent

"I'm Fine as the weather"

"The truth" she wasn't convince

"I...i feel like a shit" He confess "i deserve to go in the hell after death"

"You're nuts"

"I do really deserves it, i hurt an angel mild " He said

"I...i don't what to say "she said and turned away her gaze as she let out a heavy breath

' _An angel...he definitely is'_

" Have you ask how is he" 

"Who?"

"Gun"

A sad smile crossed his feature as he looked up and stare at the ceiling and tears seems to form but he keep it not to fall . He doesn't want to cry Because he doesn't deserve to cry for hurting Gun, He doesn't want to play victim in this story and he doesn't deserve to be...he deserve only hate...for breaking the Angel's heart with a stupid reason

"I want...i really want ask how he's doing? Did he eaten properly? I wanna be still his friend despite everything,but that's such an asshole move , The pain might get back to him and it might lead him to hate me and i don't want that to happen. I should just step back to avoid hurting him" 

Mild Sadly looked at him, she stand up and went at off to hug him ,she doesn't know how she'll comfort him especially she isn't on his shoe 

"Everything will be alright Off...you'll be alright, and he'll be alright. Maybe you both need time to heal the wounds you've left. Love takes time Off, This isn't just the right time to conquer the odds. I may not know how it feels the pain you're both going through...but we both know you just don't want him to get hurt so much that's why you decided to slip away"

He burst into her shoulder as he find comforts with her. Maybe they aren't really meant , they're not the missing part of each other's...this isn't the right time for them. He loves gun but somethings unexpectedly happen, and he will never fool and hurt gun for the sake of his selfishness. He pulled away from the hug and smiled at her 

"Thank you Grumpy" He teased and mild immediately hit him

" i regret comforting you ,you punk!" She hissed and frown, Off chuckled by her action and mess her hair caused mild to complain

"But thank you for making me feel better, i really mean it"

"Well i'm not a doctor for nothing" and she flipped her hair and the room filled with chuckles ,but their laughter stop when Mild cellphone suddenly rang

"Hey Off i need to take this call"

"Oh sure, i'm about to Off as well" 

"Then take care off" Mild said ,he nodded and the woman left his Office.

While Off is walking at the middle of the corridor 3 nurses are rushing at the entrance caught his attention, it looks like someone got into accident or what . But what made him confuse is he saw Oab who's arguing with the nurses to check the patient . the young man seemingly not in his sense considering how worried he is and bathing in his own sweat

However his heart began to pound as he took a step closer he doesn't want to believe what is he witnessing now but whatever he do, whatever he blinks he keep seeing a young man who's laying pale and with blood at his nose

_'Gun...'_

He immediately headed on their place and approach him 

"O-oab what happened to gun" his voice cracked sign how worried he is and his heart is racing 

"What the hell are you doing here" he furiously asked

"This is not the right time to ask about it , I wanna know Gun's Conditon so please just fucking tell me what happened to gun, why is he lying there filled with blood" 

"It's none of your business so leave us alone " and he was about to turn him back but then off grabbed his Collar

"I'm fucking asking you in a nice way, I said what happened to gun!? What didn't you understand ?i s it really hard for you to say what happened to gun!?" Oab smirked and use all his force to entagled Off's grip from his collar and pushed him reason to caught the other stuffs and patient Attention

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO GUN!? YOU ARE JUST NOTHING BUT AN ASSHOLE WHO TEAR HIM APART, WHO BROKE HIM, THE REASON WHY HE LOSE HIS SELF, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A JERK EX! AN EX WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO VALUE GUN! SO DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TO ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED TO GUN BECAUSE I WAS BESIDE HIM TO FIX HIM WHILE YOUR BROING HIM PIECE BY PIECE" He ungrily said

Oab was actually right, who is he to meddle he's just a selfish ex who broke gun with a stupid reason. But this is another thing he can't just let this slip away it's about gun! He will let his guard down for gun's sake

"P-please i know i w-was a jerk but t-tell me what happened to gun, i-i wanna know" Oab stared at him and shook his head and fixed his eyes at the floor 

"I...i wanna tell you what happened to him because i can see how sincere and concern you are but..." He lifted his gaze at him "but you don't deserve it know"

Off was about to respond when Oab phone rangs and the latter instantly get the call and turn his back at him without waiting for his respond but he stopped for awhile

"Gun has a fever" and left him 

  
He wanted to make a scene because of frustration. He sat at the chair to calm himself but then a guy in Lab Coat walks toward him

"Where's the relative of Mr. Phunsawat?" He immediately stand up , he'll grab this opportunity especially oab doesn't let him know what happened to gun

"How's he?" 

"Are you related with the patient?" The doctor asked , and one thing came to his mind that he know this is the only way.

"I-i'm his boyfriend" The doctor nodded his head and let out a breath

"I won't beat around the bash, His condition went worst than we expected. We don't think he will last for a year considering he stopped his treatment 2 months ago. We even insist to admit himself here but that patient is such a handful person . He told as that he already made up his mind---" off interrupted him because he doesn't understand what the doctor is trying to point out

"S-sorry Doc but i don't get what are you pointing out because it doesn't make sense i think you mistakenly with the information---"

"What are you talking about young man?"

"I'm asking Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat my boyfriend, my boyfriend who has a fever" Off's heart began to pound and nervous filled him

"Yes, i'm talking about Mr.Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat don't tell me..." The Doctor shook his head and stooped down his head " i don't know how to tell you this but i don't think i'm in the right position to tell you about his condition especially i'm not His Doctor only his doctor can tell you abo--- Dra. Lapassalan you're just in time "

Mild was panting and it looks like she came from running as her sweat drops from her forehead, her face is filled with worried 

"Doc. Way-Ar what happened to my patient Mr.Phunsawat!?" Off slowly looked ag her with shock face as he didn't expect Mild to rush here and seemingly have an idea

"As we exepect His Ill strikes again , He's temperature isn't normal and his nose bleed. He became thiner and pale than before and base on my observation His Condition worst than we thought and it looks like he stopped drinking his Meds as He stopped his treatment" Dr. Joss explain

"Can i check him?"

"Of course you are his doctor after all ---"

"Mild what's the meaning of this?" Off can't believe that mild knows about something and he can't help not to feel dissapoint.

The Girl looked at him and it seems she froze as she realize that Off was standing there and heard their conversation from the beginning especially she didn't notice him because she was worried as soon she heard that gun was rushed 

"Off..."

"Ahm i think i have to go,please excuse me" mild nodded at him while off didn't pay attention to him and remain his sight at her

"Thank you doc" He nodded as a sign of 'no problem'

"M-mild can you please fucking enlighten me!? Can you?" He said as his fist began to clench

She can't straightly look at him and her body shaken up because of nervous,she doesn't know how to he'll explain he Ex's condition . She fixed her gaze at the floor and think about what to say

Off Held her shoulder and she whine when the male's grip tighter therefore she looked at him and her heart shattered into pieces when she saw a tear drop fell from his eyes, she hates it.

"Please tell me what's gun is going through i'm begging you please" Off's fear can't explain,he doesn't know why he feels a pinch of pain even though he doesn't still know about gun,but he got a bad feeling about it

"G-gun..." And her chin began to trumble "i know he might get mad once you find out because he wanted me to keep it from you ---

" Stop beating around the bash" she move away her gaze, she can't stand to see him crying, eventhough she doesn't want to broke his promise with gun ...seeing Off crying infront of him and begging him to tell about Gun,it's making her knees weak

"Apparently 2 years ago, we found an abnormal white blood cells are not able to fight infection and impair the ability of the bone marrow to produce red blood cells and platelets---" Off Suddenly punch the wall making her flinch

"JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON WITH GUN STOP BEATING AROUND THE BASH MILD!!!!" His face turn into red as his eyes can't stop to stream the water from it, She swiped at her eyes but the tears came any way.

"Gun...He has _leukemia_ "

Off's world stops for a while, He cannot adequately describe the intensity of what He was feeling at that moment. Pain, anger, sadness, and fear, whirling together sharpened by the sudden revelation and shock He was feeling. His breaths became shallower. The nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. His head swam with half-formed regrets. His heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. 

* * *

**FLASHBACK : CHAPTER FOUR**

"G-gun i missed you please comeback" she said Her lips trembled as she cried

"Mild...."He started chewing on his lower lip and his eyes welled up with tears, He missed her therefore he hugs her back " h-how did you find me?" He said as he pulled out from the hug

"That doesn't matter right now" she held his hand and directly locked her eyes at him " Can we talk please?" She hopelessly asked.

Even if against his will because Mild will just going to insist to comeback to continue his treatment ,but he's already tired to fool his self considering he knows that there's no possibility for him to cure his ill.

Yes,Gun is sick . Unfortunately his DNA of a single cell in the bone marrow changes (mutates) and can't develop and function normally. And yes he has Leukemia...Stage 4 ,he was diagnosed 2 years ago and he kept by himself but white found out about it accidentally . He fought for his Ill for Off because he wants to live for him ,but shit happens. He doesn't want to keep from off, but he doesn't want him to get worried,he can't just bear to see him crying while he's fighting for his ill ,No Matter what treatment He get nothing happen,nothing changes even so he didn't lose his hope as long there is someone reason for him to endure the pain. But he didn't really stopped his Treatment because off Broke up with him but because he's enough fooling his self, he's done to convince his self that he'll last even at least more than a decade .

He doesn't have any idea how long he will last but all he wants is to live to the fullest do whatever he wants,and that is to see Off Smile for the last time before he go to his unveiling fate. That's partly the reason why he decided to let him go, because he knows Off will get hurt once he left him...and seems fate gave him a task before he completely go and that is To stay besides Off while he was waiting for his the one. That's the only thing he can do. Even if it hurts he needs to bear it owing to the fact he can't take care of him when sooner and later he'll die.

Mild was sitting across gun and as she wipes her face from crying.

"How are you gun?" She asked and Gun smiled at him as if he isn't enduring an ill. 

"I'm doing fine just like before " he convince him but mild knows him very well.

Mild treat him as a real brother, he was the closest patient to her. She gave her best to cure gun she didn't gave up , she fought along with him , she always cheered gun. But her world dissolved when Gun gave up, she did everything to make him comeback but Gun already made up his mind and that's what breaking her.

"You're lying gun"

"I'm fine mild" Mild shift her gaze and look at the emptiness 

"I'm guessing he doesn't know?" She randomly said, A sad smile crossed his face

"Right he doesn't know, so pretend you don't know anything either." She sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"how can i do that if he finds out later---"

"he'll probably cry" he interrupt her "and blame you for not telling him, he'll cry and be resentful.Then, he'll pity me like you're doing now." She shook her head and locked her eyes to him

"Gun you know that i never pity you!" She exclaimed 

"i don't like being looked like that. it makes me feel as though something really bad has happened. as if the world will turn pitch black right this second, and my life will be completely destroyed. But you know, that's not going to help to cure my ill, i dont's want that pitiful gaze from anyone else. No more of that gaze" Tear stream down his face and genuinely smiled at her "thanks to you Off has been smiling a lately since the day he met you he been going on about you every day he his eyes sparkle like everything diamonds when he talks about you . i'm sure you know how precious his eyes when he smile"

"yes ofcourse i know,but Gun how can you say that to me like you are leaving him up to me" she can not believe muttered

"Because you are aligned for him"

"Gund don't you have a backbone? Infact you should resent me, i'm willing to get rid my feelings for him , because he is yours from the beggining Gun!" 

"He isn't mine mild, i never own him,however mild you know that i won't last for a long time, i can't guarantee that anymore...my life has limitation" Mild stand up and when at him and she bend down her knees and held his hand

"No gun i can still treat you! You can still be cured, think about off , i know he loves you , please fight for him think about him, live for him don't give up gun ,he'll get hurt once you leave him---"

"Mild let us not insist it anymore, we both know there is no way anymore, and fate has already gave me a sign and that's before i leave this beautiful world, i need to search for someone who will love Off to the fullest and take care of him and that is you mild and i felt a relief if he'll end up with you ,i can rest peacefuly" He said and wipe her tears away

"Gun...please no.. You are the only one for gun i'm begging you please fight for him" she felt a strong pain in her heart as her tears continue to stream down

"Please don't make things hard for me" he gently but with plead said " i owe it all to you, mild. thanks to you i can see those pretty eyes every single day. if i can see them for just a little longer. then even if i have to leave someday,i'll have no regrets, can you please help me? is it too inconsiderate of me to ask such a favor?"

"no.. not at all" she hesitate as against her will but she's too weak for gun considering how she loves him

" i'm counting on you don't tell him okay? don't tell off" mild only can do is to nodded and cry to his shoulder as gun hug him tight. 

' _the deep despair she can't even try to understand. while watching him quietly embrace and accept even that into his life, it became clear. the person who leade her to a first love she didn't even know existed.... and the person who offered him a kindness that could never be repaid...it was him . all these miracles began with him'_

* * *

Off fall in his knee and place his palm over his face as a great sobb escape from him , the sudden revelation can't sink to him. He can't accept that He truly love will going to leave him soon...his love that he'll not able to embrace ahead

_' If i only knew, maybe i didn't made an excuses to leave you. I thought leaving you is the right thing,because i don't want to hurt you but instead i fucked up and hurt you while you are suffering...i didn't expect despite that i have a complication with my heart is my love suffering at the middle of Death. I was afraid to leave you that's why i pretend but...the pain returns to me and it's double than i chose to left you because of my selfishness '_

**END OF CHAPTER SIX**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did it went? Personally i found lame this chapter i don't know i just felt to rush composing the chapter 6 thus i'll promise that i'll make up with the next chapter. I know you were shocked by the sudden Plot twist ,the next chapter will be Off's Point Of View and he will reveal everything,but there's more twist so just hang there and keep supporting me till the end ,2 chaps left and we are going to bid a goodbye to HMWYW Eternal Serie 1, so keep supporting Comment your thoughts and leave a kudos!!! Khub phun na kha..
> 
> For More : @heavenlyeuri
> 
> Stay tuned for the next update (Maybe on Saturday)


	8. Hold Me While You Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you do me a favor before you proceed? Please listen some song while you are reading this so you can feel the scenes :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Names, Character, Businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of author's imagination or used in fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual person, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.

**In Order to hide a big lie ,**

**people sometimes confess a small truth**

* * *

**2018 ; 5 Months ago...** _**Off's Point Of View**_

"I'm sorry to say this but Mr. Adulkittiporn if we can't still find for a heart donor , once your ill attacks i can't gurantee that you'll survive this time, however me as your doctor i'm not giving up to find you a donor we are still working for it , It's just we can't find your much therefore ...live your life to the fullest that's only for now i can say" The doctor infront of me said

'funny..'

I felt lost and dejected for what my doctor has said, it feels like he said that i don't stand a chance to live the way i wanted to live. fucking ill,fucking heart disorder,fuck it all.

Since i was young i've been diagnose with Arrythmia (An **arrhythmia** is a problem with the rate or rhythm of the heartbeat. During an **arrhythmia** , the heart can beat too fast, too slowly, or with an irregular rhythm. When a heart beats too fast, the condition is called tachycardia. When a heart beats too slowly, the condition is called bradycardia. The rapid heartbeats, caused by changes in the electrical system of your **heart** , may lead to fainting, and can be life-threatening. In some cases, your **heart's** rhythm may be so erratic that it can cause sudden death.) i always been weak , i never felt like the normal child since then because of my condition , my parents always keep me at the house and buy me some toys therefore i won't feel envy of other kids. When i was 10 Fortunately they found someone who can donor a heart, that's the reason why we moved On thailand . Things briefly happen i felt somehow to live normal like teenager's but ofcourse i still have limitation . I cannot join any sports , i can't even get exhausted and so on... As we move at the philippines to finish my College and gun happened. Gun became my direction in life when i was lost , he's always been my life , He gave lightness in my dark world.

We are already in 6 years relationship and i can call us as Perfect Couple, we don't fought too much like other lovers do, we are just so inlove with each other he's the only one who can always understand me , i'm even thankful that we didn't had a problem with our parents they supported us. Our life and relation has always been rainbow...but that Perfect relationship is just an Almost. Despite That Happy Relationship , i have a secret that i had to keep from him. 1 year ago same shit happens, my Heart had a complication again they told me that i had to take another operatioon. i have felt that something is wrong with me because there are times that my heart clench in pain, my breath shortenss and i even lose my consciousness when i was at the office.and then shit occured, they saw another complication with my heart and i have to take medicine for a while as we're looking for a donor. Yet it's look like i have no chance to live anymore and that's fucking funny.

'I'm not scared to death...I'm scared of _leaving my love_ ' 

I let out of sigh , headed to my car and drove all way to my home. thoughts filled my mind as my heart pound so fast , i shouldn't think too much or else ... i parked my car and get off on it , took a step forward and knock on the door. The door immidiately open and the person inside of it wide it as her grin became wider as soon he saw me

"hey love" He greet and i quickly hugged him, it isn't new for us to hug each other whenever we visit but this hug, it's different it's a hug that no guarantee until whenn will last. 

_'Gun is my home'_

He hugged me back and tighten it , i burried my face onto his neck and we remained like that for a minutes , he robbed my back as if he was comforting me "love did something happened?" 'yes love , i think i can't keep my promises anymore ' "Nothing ofcourse i felt like i longed for you that's why i went to my home" i said as and pulled out from him to cupped his face and peck his lips , he giggled and pinch my nose cause for me to whine

"what did you ate this time? "

"why?"

"because you are over sweet too much " he crunch his nose like a cat and a chuckle escape from his lip, i shook my head 

"you're nuts"

"still you love me"

"oh well, you have your point " i cling my arms onto his shoulder and we went to his living room , after he sat at the couch i laid my head in his lap and close my eyes. He began to massage my head 

"lately i've been notice that you're too much stressing yourself , and you always out of town for bussines take some time to rest off" he said , and made me froze .

i lied whenever i tell him that i have bussines trip i'm at the hospital to have some check up and treatment, that's the only way i know to excuse myself , i sigh and held his hand brought closer to my mouth planted a small kiss and place it above my heart. "i love you" i mumble and like a sunlight my day brighten up as his grin showed up.

"i love you too" he leaned closer and smack his lips into mine , i smile at him and caressed his face , I Get up from laying at his lap and pull him closer to me " Gun always keep in your mind that you are my life, you are my anchor, you are my star ..you're my everything and i love you no matter what " He raised his head and confusely looked at me "what's gotten into you? did you commit a sin?" and he raised his eyebrow

"Crazy, of course not can't i just pamper you?" and he giggle and kiss my cheek as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Then i love you for eternity" he mumble and i messed his hair and laid his onto my shoulder

_'let me make the most of it for a while , he's the only one i have. I promise i'll let him go to have his happy ending that he deserves with someone else'_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK : The Break Up Scene**

In order to let go of gun i slowly became distance to him , i know that's a bullshit moves of mine but what can i do? i can't just tell him that 'hey gun let's break up because i'm dying so go on live your life and find someone who can fulffiled your love that i can't give you' that's more funny . Even if againts my will i had to lose my grip to him i know others might think that 'Off you're such an asshole do you think gun will leave you once he learned about your condition?' maybe yes.maybe not . But i have to make a wise decision without knowing him about my real condition i love him and because i love him i can't endure to see him slowly hurting hi self , that he'll pretend that he's fine that he'll cheer me up to convice that i can go through this shit. No i'm not like that. i just can't.

i'm sitting here beside him at the couch as i stare blankly on the wall forcing myself not to let my tears showed up because i just made a fucking decision and that's to broke up with him with a fucking reason that i'm not happy anymore. God knows how much i'm happy with gun he's my strength my everything, I just threw those 6 years i spent with him just to let him go.

"Are you tired'' he suddenly uttered to break the silence _'no baby i'm not tired and i'll never got tired of you'_

"I'm not...I'm not happy anymore"i i said _' fucking hate my self'_

"W-what h-happened ? It's just i find it strange... we w-were just both happy yesterday but now...what a perfect twist of fate " Gun unbelivably said " Is there something w-wrong with me?'' _'no gun there's nothing wrong with you it is me , i'm such a coward to let you face the truth'_

i turned my eyesight at him but i wanted to punch my self for making him cry , i wanted to hit my head at the wall.. i raise my hand but thenn i leave it in the air and immidiately put it down ' i wanted to wipe of your tears, but i'm afraid once i touch your tears i might break down. I released a heavy breath

"I know it may sound cliché, stupid lines that we often hear in movies or series ... It's not you ,it's me. It's me the one who got sick. It feels odd that i don't want to hold on anymore in this relationship, and you don't deserve " ' _yes gun you don't deserve me , you don't deserve someone who is too weak to fight for you, you don't deserve someone who's dying . i'm the problem gun not you'_

'' b-by any c-chance... is there someone'' i chuckled _'how can i have someone if i always pushed them away and threat them that i'll let you punch them if they dare to laid their fingers at me?'_

"Relationship's always end up because of that bullshit third parties, nonetheless ...i aprised you before all else ain't one of them..you know that gun i will forthwith tell to you if i fall out inlove , i never lied at you never . I've always been honest with you at the outset.I don't have one...for now"

Gun looked at me sadly '' then...what made you gave up ?"

a bitter smile crossed my face _'what made me gave up? that's because they can't guarantee my life anymore'_ "i have no idea , i can not give you the reason you deserve for now but all i know, i woke up one day feeling odd and discover that i just want to explore new stuff in love. I want to fall inlove again with a different story, different protagonist...something new . i want to slip away all of sudden" _'bullshit reasons off, different protagonist?, new stuffs in love? are you really that fucked up?'_

"so you got sick of me?"

'' I Never got tired of you , not a chance ...it's just our relationship who made me sick and i'm not happy anymore. We were too comfortable at each other, we know how to understand each other , to comfort and something. we may not argue most of the time even so that's what making our relationship odd. We don't have the connection,the spark ,the thrill. We aren't even opposite , and viceversa to those other relationship, they might argue most of the time, facing circumstances and so on but that's the rule ,And we are not part of them" _'you're stupid,you're an idiot, you're a jerk, you're an asshole, you're a motherfucker, you don't have balls'_

"how could you ? , it's pointless" _'yes it really is pointless my love, i'm too stupid to make an excuses like that'_

"i know because i actually do"

Gun suddenly stand up from the couch and walk towards the window and face the fresh air coming from it.

"Can you give me atleast an acceptable reason? owing to the fact ain't sufficient" he said without looking at me

''as i said , i want to explore new things , i want to fall in love again with someone new, discover some affections that i haven't felt before" he sarcastically chuckled

"bullshitness" he mumble "Off...you just don't love me enough to make you retain in our relationship" he said and i stared at him _'no love that's not true, iwant to stay, badly want but i can't i'd rather hurt you in this way than hurting you to watch me while i'm slowly losing my breath'_

"i do love you ...but it isn't same as before i don't know how things have change but i don't want to carry on it anymore"

"Aren't you just confuse?"

"I'm not gun" ' _i'm not confuse because i planned it'_

"then why?" he hopelessly asked

"i..i'm sorry" _'i'm sorry if i'm coward'_

"you don't have to apologize off. Feelings evanasce on the spur of the moment, and you didn't mean it to happen yet even i want to hold you back it'll be selfish of me and i don't want to make you stay in that way" he bitterly said

"You deserve it gun, even so you don't deserve me since i'm not good enough to be abudant for you" _' you need someone who can be your knight and shined armor not someone like me who will put you into danger'_

"You were enough off, you didn't just aknowledge it" the atmosphere sudden became quiet for what he said , i let out a sigh

"Do you stll remembere our story?" Gun break the ice

"How can i?" _'how can i forget it gun? that's the day one where my life had color'_

  
"We had sweet love story" Gun started " It was a sudden affection i felt for you . I didn't believe in love at first sight, word stops for a while like a slow motion and other stuffs. Nevertheless i felt those emotion when you step in at our classroom and i was sitting at the back across the door then my heart skipped a beat for you. It was hard for me to accept at my system that i fall inlove with a guy but then..." he wipe his tears away "...i just love you so much that i conquer everything " he said

_'And you were breath taker as you captive my heart'_

"You must resent me a lot right now" i said with guilt in my heart _'even if it hurts, please resent me gun'_ but gun slowly shook his head while He sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

_'fuck baby don't cry , it makes me weak'_

"how can i off?" i turn my gaze at him "How can i hate the person who made me happy?who taught me what love is? Every moment i spent with you shined, considering the weather was good, in as much the weather was bad and because the weather was good enough, i fell inlove all over again because of that moments. So tell me off how can i hate the heartbreaker if it is you? I love you even i wasnt't good enough" He said sorrowfully while his heart is falling apart

i felt my heart slowly turn into pieces like a dust . i wanted to retrain my words that i left but i don't wanna be selfish if you only knew how much i love you to the point i'm willing to risk my life just to get the stars for you, this is not my choice , but the fate itself. I din't want to turn eerything like this but i ...i just can't.

"Gun...i'm sorr--" i didn't succeed to held back my tears as i felt hurt and stupid as i see him slowly shattering.. _.i broke him_

"in spite of that this will pass...It may take a long time before to heal this heartache but as long i know as well as you'll find the happiness you deserve the joy you'll search to the one you will spend your life for...i know it would be worth that i let you go" he sniffed and wipe his tears away using both of his palm and genuine smiled at me _'please don't cry for me you don't deserve to cry for someone jerk like me'_ "do you still remember my vow?" he asked . I nodded my head as an answer...i lost my word

_'how can i forget it? i vow to love you , i vow to to be your end in everything , i vow to join you in every pain . but i broke it. I love you From dusk till dawn'_

i love you gun but things aren't same as before, i love you but i can't be the person you'll take the rough paths with, i need to let you go..i had to.

"You're success is my success, You're pain is my Pain, You're Happiness is my Happiness, You're sorrows is mine as well because i love you and loving you means eternity and i vowed to join every journey you'll face even if it's going through rough time i'd still stays beside you , i will die first before to leave you hang in" Gun said , we both burst into tears as our heart crushed 

Gun lift his left hand and slowly reach my face as he wipe my tears away _' i should be the one to wipe your tears'_ " i told you i hate seeing you in tears because you look so awful" and he chuckled "even so..." he cupped my face and locked his eyes into mine like he's looking at as his world who betrayed him"There's only one thing i want to ask for"

i look at him seriously " Let me Hold You while you wait off, i want to take care of you until your greatest love come, i want to show you my love before your the one love you beyond and i want to take you to her until the end" Gun said 

'gun please don't do this, i can't 

"Gun" he sealed mme with a kiss...this time it's different from before.. _a sad kiss_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK: Star Gazing Scene**

White called me to let me know that gun came by at his unit and he told him that gun will just going to pass by. I don't need to guess it because there's a certain place he'll deifinietly go to sort things out and that's on our usual place. I wasn't wrong because i saw him looking up at the stars. I stared at him from a far and i let out a sigh as i try to held back my tears. It feels like i'm slowly turning into pieces and fall apart as i see him suffering from the ache that i caused. There'll be no days without blaming my self for crushing you gun, i want to hit myself. i brush my palms over my face and exhaled. i took small steps forward to him and sat beside him. He stooped his sight at me from looking up, i smiled at him like i'm alright although ain't.

"how are you?'' 'He isn't right because of you, you dimwit'

''how did you know i'm here?'''of course because this is your comfort zone, where filled of our memories we shared'

''white called me that you already told him everything and about our compllicated situation as well" gun's eyebrow aligned

"You haven't still answered my question, i said what are you doing here"

"we've been together for whole 6 years gun, of course i know everything about you, thus what are you expecting?" off stares at the sky above " i can still remember ,i'm the one who taught you to look at the stars whenever you're down considering it can bring peace in your life instead standing at the ledge and posing as free bird, you were a risk taker but...i happen and pulled you from everything " i sadly said on the last part

_'i pulled you but i pushed you as well'_

i raised my head at the sky and our memories flashes back, i felt something heavy at my chest ...that's pain of lies. I wonder if he will still at the sky like he used to ? i doubt it, pain will always hunts him and i hate it. Even if i want him to remember me every single corners i can't , and i don't want to. I need to walk away from you, and you need that too gun. please walk away from me until i can dtop my self, because i'm afraid the further this the longer pain scars to your soul and heart.

"we aren't aligned for each other " gun blurted out , i looked at him 

_'i thought that too, maybe we aren't because if it is, fate won't pull me away from you'_

"gun..."

"The day you asked me not to do my bad habits anymore i obeyed your favor , not because i love you but because it really helps me a lot everytime i'm having troubles and you are away for your bussiness trip , i'll just lift my head at the sky and admire the stars who's shining and reminds me of your love and as well you" the sweet smile escaped from gun's lips turn into bitter and a tears formed on his eyes " and i didn't regret it until now and i will still look at it with joy and smile" _'lies'_

"G-gun i-i'm sincerely sorry" _'i'm sorry if i had to turned thing this way, i'd rather hurt you in this way than hurting you while you're mourning for me'_

"Why are you sorry? It isn't something like you really wanted to happen. Your Love just fade away ,we are just meant to meet but aren't for each other. That's Love off , There's always one who'll get hurt while the other one will get tired....Life doesn't always end with a Happy Endings,there's no thrill if it is." Gun said

_'yes we may be meant to meet each other but not to last forever, yet my love didn't vanish, not a chance'_

"But why would you still bother to stay by my side gun while i'm searching for my the one?that is totally irony" _'you're just making it hard for me'_

"Because i want to see you smile for the last time" gun said and a moment took by silence

"L-last time?" _'last time...yes ,maybe, who knows when will this last'_

"Come'on off, i can't Be inlove with you until you get married, i need to find the one who destined for me, after i accomplished my mission i promise i'll get over you cau'ze i can't even guarantee to see you settle down with someone. Therefore when the right time comes I want to face you with wholeheartedly heart that someone else own" Gun said and chuckled ,i nodded and gulped. I didn't like it but i can't be selfish no...the right thing is gun will find someone he deserve'

"Off"

"Hmm?"

"When... When the search is finally over,take care of her huh? Don't hurt her ,Don't even make her cry , You should Love Her with wholeheartedly and i'm hoping this person will be your last, and aligned the stars for her" _'are you really that numb gun? you're the only one i think i can love more than my life, you're the only one i treasure the most'_

"I will" _'i won't unless it's you'_

"That's Relief"

_'no gun, that's curse'_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK : AT OFF'S CONDO UNIT**

After i rode mild way back to her place, i didn't really expect gun here, i wasn't prepared. I wont deny the fact that i felt so overwhelmed as he stepped in from the kitchen it feels like the old days, he was waiting for me from work or i'll wait for him from his work, we were like a married couple the difference is we're not yet married and we're not living under the same roof. It's because we've decided to live at the same roof after we settle down but it seems there's no way to happen that anymore. i just can't help not to feel dejected, why does odds has to pull as away? can we just love each other till our last breath? i was so sure for him, i was ready to settle everything with him but why does universe is so unfair and mischievous? After all trial we've through why did they gave us a challenge that possibility to part us? As we were eating together i wanted to burst but i hide it i pretend. I'll miss this , I'll miss his hugs, I'll miss everything about him. The way he breath, the way he cuddle, the way he smile as his eyes spark as his nose crunches ...i'll miss everything especially his _love._

_'God why do you have to do this? where di i went wrong? can't i be happy? I love gun so much to the point i can't see myself settling with someone he's my everything but why did you have to take away my happiness and everything? i'm sorry gun for being coward'_

i washed my face so he won't notice that i came from crying , i let out tons of sigh and get out the bathroom and i saw him staring at my varanda .

"Are you going to spend the night here?" i asked he surprisingly look at me

"Can i?" _'you don't have to ask gun. you owns everything i have...even my heart'_

"Of course why not? it isn't something like you're just a someone else. You can sleep here beside it's already too late " _'just this one please say yes gun i wanna be with you'_ i sat beside him . he suddenly faced me and get the towel from me then he dry my hair. I just let him be, i just wanna make the most of it.

"G-gun..." i suddenly uttered

_'goodluck off'_

"yes?"

"i-i told you that i just want to be honest with you right?" i've always been faithful to you gun but this time i had to make a huge lies in order to keep you away from the pain you might feel if you once findout all the reason behind's it

"w-what is it?"

"i met someone" i begin

"t-tell me about this person?" he's voice started to crack and i wanted to hit myself

"well , our first interaction aren't really that good, i accidentaly spilled my coffee on her and she got mad at me without letting me to explain my side" and off chuckled "She's a doctor and she's pretty cute however she's a little bit brutal but i found it cute, it feels odd but somehow it makes me happy and i won't deny she caught my attention. The way her forehead wrinkle whenever she got mad and her face is frowning he looks so cute hahaha--"i suddenly stop from talking when gun wasn't moving anymore "g-gun"

"H-huh?"

"i'm sorry---"

"don't worry about me off i'm fine , this is just new to me so you know ahm..can you turn around ,please" i wanted to disobey him and turn around at him to hug him because i know he can't held back his tears anymore, but i know he hates to look pathetic.

"G-gun honestly speaking y-you don't have to do this...stop hurting your self , how can you bear to witness ...that i catching some feeling with someone else while you're getting hurt. aren't you tired gun?" ' you don't have to do this gun, i'm afraid the longer we spent together the harder to get rid the pain especially i might die sooner.

" I'm not off, when it comes to you i will never get tired. Yes i may be feel hurt but i know this will pass somehow...your happiness is only matters, and pain nothing mean for me if in the end i can see your smile again ,i'm doing this because i can't gurantee until when i will stay by yourside, so please let me make the most of it while i'm with you" _'gun how can you love me unconditionally? . i'm so fucked up'_ i felt a thorn suddenly dig into my heart

_'how can you be so selfless gun?_ _you don't deserve this kind of pain, you don't deserve me'_

"Are you happy?" Gun asked randomly _'no'_

"what do you mean?"

"I mean , are you happy with these new feelings ?" _'bullshit with those feeling , no gun never'_

Silence took me i don't really know what to say all i know is i'm in pain .the room filled with silence and gun suddenly stand up

"A-ahm i think i s-should go , w-white sent me a message he t-told me that he has something to s-say so i'll g-go ahead , s-sleep tight goodnight" and hurriedly took his phone without letting me to respong

Just after gun close the door of my unit i buried my face into my palms and pulled out my hair because of frustration "you're such a shit Off, how long do you have to be selfish?"

my gaze suddenly landed at my coffee table and there i saw gun's phone , it seems he got the wrong one i picked it but before to return it i opened his phone i know i invade his privacy but i just wanna know if white send a message. i put the passcode

_'1111'_ he haven't still change the passcode it's still our anniversary. But i felt a pich of pain in my heart as i open his phone, his wallpaper was me and it seems he took it while i was asleep

"i'm sorry gun, but leaving you is the best way to love you" i left my unit to go after him, and i saw him walking as he took little step while his shoulder is shaking sign that he's crying

'i know i always saying this, but i won't get tired . I'm sorry ,i'm very sorry i'm sorry over and over again, but this is for you'

i called his name

"G-gun" i witness him to wipe his tears away and he faced me and smile at me like nothing happen 

i sigh.

"yes off, do you need something?" he energetic said. _' i fucking hate when you're pretending to be alright'_

i slowly took few step forward to him

"Y-you got the wrong phone" i said and extend his phone and gun immidiately exchange our phones

"hahaha sorry about that i was in rush because whit maybe wait---"

"Gun he didn't send you a message" i frankly said , i felt that he froze and i'm sure he's thinking niw to make an excuse, i inhale and exhale i close our gap and hug him tighter

_'Let me hug you..just this once i miss feeling your warmth that giving me chills'_

"I'm sorry gun, i know it was stupid move but i can't pretend anymore, i don't want to lie to you , i don't want to keep anything from you even though it may hurt you this the only way i can be true to you without fooling you , i'm sorry gun " all i said was true i don't wanna full him and hopes up because i can't guranate no more and a tear raced down to my face as Gun burst.

_'i have to take the leap because i love you, and because i love you...i need to let you go not because i don't love you anymore but because this is for the better us'_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK : TENSION RISES BETWEEN OFF AND OAB SCENE**

As soon White told me about gun i felt my heart race , i feel so resent to myself, how could i forget about him argghhh. I've been missing gun that's why i agree to meet him especially when i decided to be distance to him because of what happen last time at my unit , but then i can't stand it anymore no matter what i do to entertain my self, go out with mild to pester her , i keep thinking about him . There was a famous saying that 'if you love someone no matter what you do, you won't able to get rid this person because she/he's already marked on our heart and soul' and it was true . However because mild called me i forgot about gun because i was worried as well with her but don't get me wrong i like mild but i find her only as a little sister , she became my bestfriend and most of all she knows about my condition by accidenntaly because it happens that my doctor's son is her closest friend, i plead to keep it and i was greatful when she told me my secret is safe with her althoug she doesn't know once my ill attacked it can be my last time, she even knows about my gun but i didn't tell her who might be him. 

I went every place where he might be but i was failed to find him , i'm starting to lose my hope i even feel exhausted whic it isn't a good thing for me. That's gun i can't let my ill strikes i can't die without finding him. Suddenly i recall that i active his GPS therefore i didn't hard time to find him, I didn't waste any second and headed to him but as soon i get there an inappropriate scene greeted me. A jerk was kissing my person. I can't help not to feel Anger,Sadness, Pain and fear as my emotion whirled together.

"G-gun..." i uttered as my voice crack

Gun suddenly pulled at from the kiss and looked at me with shock

"O-off"

_'why it hurts'_

"i-i was looking for you " i coldly said. Anger filled my heart.

"W-why?" he hopelessly asked

"N-nothing it's just w-white asked me to help him for searching you , he told me that he came at your place but you weren't there so he got worried considering it's nearing midnight however..." i look at the guy besides him

_'so the jerk is back huh?'_ i don't really hate oab but since i knew that Oab had a feelings with gun things didn't work out so well, i just don't like and want to see him near at gun it fucking ruinning my system and i wanna wreck his face...that idiotic face _'you can't please everyone'_

" It's seems you're having fun by someone else company while there's people out there worrying about you" i can't help not to say in sarcastic way

"Off be careful with your words" oab interrupted

_'fuck off'_

"look who's here, the protagonist wanna be cameback huh? you shouldn't bother you're just messing up " i sarcasticaly said, oab clicked his tounge and shook his head as he stooped down

"I may be a a fake protagonist while you're the real one but " he lift his head and look at him as he smirk "you don't deserve the title itself...if the lead is a jerk , you should be the supporting character instead." Oab said

the smirk from my face face straight away fade

"You don't know a thing" _'you don't know how it hard for me to take a leap just to hurt gun once i went gone, you don't the pain i've been througing to'_

"I may not know a thing, even so i know how to cherish a keeper not like you, a stupid" he confidently said , i felt his blood boils for what he said

"oab enough!" he pacified when the tension rises between the two of us

"do you think you'll win this time? you are a loser and will always be, a trying hard loser who's pleading to a person who will never love you back, considering that person already throw by someone else,are you that brazen?"

Oab clench his fist and didn't think twice to throw a punch me so i lose my balance and got an upper cut 

_'fuck'_

I get up and wipe my bleeding lips and instantly throw my fist at oab . however oab didn't give a shit so he puched him once again and this time he didn't gave me an oppurtunity he pushed me at the ground and went on top of me then pull my collar to throw a fist

_'i slowly felt the blood on my mouth therefore a pain in my chest started to draw some ligns that making me have and hard short breath'_

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH BOTH OF YOU!!!!" he furiously said "ARE YOU REALLY THE SHAMELESS ENOUGH TO MAKE A SCENE HERE!?" he looked at me " Honestly i don't really have the idea what are you doing here after you ditched me?you can say no and just neglect it like what you did!"

"SOMETHING CAME UP!" i reasoned

" I can see how important that something!HOW ABOUT ME OFF"

"What's gotten into you!?you're just my ex who's trying to fit at my life even i already pushed you away you're still queezing your self and asked me a tupid favor to keep you while i wait!? ARE YOU THAT DESPERAT---" i didn't had the chance to finish sentence when gun throw me a fit which made stumenned...it was unbelivable because gun never really out of patience, and seems i was too much this time

_' i was fucking jealous if you only know gun!'_

i looked at gun and there's no sign of tears but hate and pain "thank you for waking me up because i finally came to back to my sense! Thank you off , a lot don't worry this will be the last because i won't meddle with your life anymore. Thankyou for everything Off i'm hoping our path won't cross anymore " he said and left the place

_'this should be happen as the plan right? he shoul resent me so he'll move on and easily forget about me...but it hurts'_

Oab walk towards me and stand infront of me "Thank you for letting him go, because you just proved yourself that you can keep a precious like him, i shouldn't have stepped back , i should fought for him , because i have the confidence that i will never make him cry,not a drop. Be happy with your new , may your love last forever. This my turn now to take care of him so don't worry and i'm not going down without a fight off, not a chance " and before he left the place oab told me something that made my knees weak

"Anyway...gun must be rreally thankful , because you hurt him on his own birthday it is really wonderful gift off" and he followed gun

a tear suddenly formed from my eyes as his heart ache

_'i'm sorry gun, i hurt you again, how can i forget about it? you only have a complication in heart off not in the brain!'_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK: RESTAURANT SCENE**

I didn't expect to run with gun but i mostly didn't expect that the jerk was with him. I was even confused when something awkward interaction between mild and gun , it feels like mild longed for Gun but gun seemingly to push her away, i don't know i even asked mild if he knew gun although he denies about mild because i wasn't convince and she told me that gun is her friend but he's sulking at her yet i wasn't convince it feels like there's something off...i don't know why but i got a bad feeling about it. Thus i just decided to neglect it , Mild suggest to share the table with them considering we know each other . I can feel the tension rises between me and oab and the awkward scenario between Gun and Mild.

The fucker even put a show, trying to put some good point's huh? tsk

he just bought gun a necklace necklace with a moon but the difference is it looks like a two moon with different phase, The white moon was a waning gibbous while the color black moon was a waxing crescent, psh my gift is way better than him . However i wanted to smack Mild's head , where did she got the nerve to say that Oab will propose at gun As If! and i almost vomit when oab told her he'll propose at him once Gun accept his love , like what the fuck as if gun will love him back and i won't even let that happen , not a chance

_'if you're still alive that time '_ fuck!

However i just can accept the fact that gun denied about the real us , i felt so dissapointed at him and he was being so unreasonable with his reason like

_'she might felt disgusted once she finds out about us, that's turn off' 'it doesn't make sense off'_

It is make sense! it's about me and him, i feel like he was ashame, the hell i care if Mild found out about us as if she cares, we're only just friend, and what made my blood boils as Oab trying to sneak some gesture at Gun, therefore i didn't help but to hit the table with my glass which made a noise. I know this isn't appropriate situation but i played with mild and bickered with her to make Gun jealous but I fucked up all over and over again!

"Please Excuse me" he interrupt, fuck i think i hurt him again, you're the dumbest person in the whole world .

"Excuse me as well i'll just follow him" and didn't wait for our answer seriously , is it the day of not waiting for responds?

i clench my fist and jaw as i feel annoyed i wanted to punch the table but i'm not halk lol. i take a glance at mild and there she is resting her chin at her hands while looking at me with mischievous stares

"what!?" i hissed and she clicked her tongue

"he is isn't"

"what !?" i played innocent 

"he's your ex am i right or i'am right"

"you've gone mad" and looked away

"are you ashame of him"

"Ofcourse not!" i immidiately answer and she shook her head and folded her arms 

"you can only say yes or no tsk"

"how did you think that he was the ex i'm talking about" i curiously asked

"you're too obvious that you want to punch that oab guy because of jealous" i just snorted and didn't answer her "remember off you can't get jealous you wanted that, so screw you" she teased 

"what can i do!? i don't want him ---"

"Still Off it is still not enough. Your reason ain't sufficient, he loves you so much that he won't leave by yourside. i know you donì't want him to get hurt by mourning you and instead you reasoned that you'll wait for someone and here i am posing as your fake the one , i just don't get you. You're so fucked up!2 she annoyed said and he let out a breath "make things right before it's too late"

" i don't know mild...i'm scared"

"you must love him a lot aren't you?"

"mmm, no words and thing can describe it " he said as a sad smile cross his feature 

"you're both so lucky to have each other off so don't throw everything ,think about it" she said and off only smiled at her ' _if things are that easier maybe no one in this world will suffer'_ "go ahead followed them before the wolf eats your prey"

"you're nuts" and he did what she said but he regreted it as soon he seen oab and gun are hugging and he swear he's fucking jealous instead he puch the wall to out his madness 

_'what if mild was right?what if i regret something because of my suddens decisions,damn'_

**↠◇◆◇↞**

**FLASHBACK: PARTING WAYS SCENE**

i know i did a fucking move to ask gun to spend with me atleast 3 days as i grant his wish which is a win-win situation because i wanted to spend my remaining time with him. I want to make him happy spite of all the shitness i caused . Who can blame me? I jist wanna be with someone who made me alive, the reason why i wanna keep alive but because of this damn ill have to deal with our cruel fate, how shit it is. 

He might be caught guard when i told him to run away for a while, to be with him again even for a day. Even so i'll just deal with it later all i want is to seize the moment while i'm still beside him, nonetheless there's no guarantee until when this will last. Even if he thinks that i'm just pretending i'll just let that in this way, it hard for me to show that i'm not happy with him anymore if it is all lies. 

I just wanna make things perfect as long he's beside me because i feel that sooner or later he will completely leave me. I just wanna gave him a good memories for the last time. I'd lie if i'm going to deny that i felt disappointed and hurt at the same time when i was pretending asleep as he mumble he's love. I wanna badly open my eyes to wipe his tears away and tell him that it was all lies and he's the only person i would and only die for. 

But things has an end.... 

I heard a familiar voice called his name and out of curiosity i went at the door and there was the burden

"G-gun"

_'what the fuck is he doing here!?'_

"Gun who's it---Oab ,Mild?"It made me confuse that how he located us considering i didn't tell anyone about this place. Unless.... _Fuck damn it he's GPS is Active! Good Job off your planned is already ruined!_ And to my surprise he even brought Mild, how amazing! 

And why the heck this retard is crying over my Gun:s Shoulder!? What's drama is tnis!? 

"What the fuck are you doing here Oab!?and why mild is with you!?" i said ask i glared at him

Oab pulled out from hugging gun and held gun's wrist "i'm here to claim Gun because it seems you mistakenly took my person, and i object to let you go near him. Therefore i brought your woman because you might get confused,i don't need any explanation i'm not here to cause a scene" he said and drag gun out of the place 

_'person my ass, he's mine fucker!'_

HHowever they suddenly stop from walking when i grabbed Gun's arm, i won't let him take away easily. He just ruined everything! 

"I'm not letting you!" I refused ,oab turned around to face me and sarcastically laugh

"And who are you to stop us!?"

"I-i..." i was caught off guard by his question, he was right some how who am i? I'm just a guy who's loving gun secretly who had to hurt him just to push him away i'm the weak guy that gun doesn't deserve as hell! 

_'but you don't know a shit oab'_

"You're no one right!? You don't have the rights anymore so just fucking let go off him!" I didn't flinch, i still held gun. I won't end things in this way

_'just let me have a proper ending with him and i promise i won' t mess in his life again'_

"Let's go gun" And was about to grab Gun again but gun didn't let him to grabbed

"L-let me go Oab.." Gun said while he's still looking at me with teary eye

_'baby...'_

"Don't you dare Gun! I'm fucking serious!" 

"J-just this once oab,i'll over this...i'll go after you" he plead and he turn his sight at oab "please..."

Pain crossed his face, Oab slowly nodded, he stepped back and turned around and headed to his car

_'just this once oab and i leave it him up to you'_

Gun faced me i can't helo but not to show the sorrowfulness that i really feel at the moment , A sad smile crossed his face, and He knew right then what he was trying to tell me.

_'Is this the end? Maybe it is...'_

His eyes never left mine as he finally said the words that shuttered my heart.

"T-this might be the end..." He bite his lip to prevent his tears to flow "T-thank you for everything off, i've finally made up my mind, i should officially let you go therefore we can avoid hurting each other..."

_'Gun take it slow.... My heart can't accept it, my heart is too weak.'_

However gun's tears betrayed him as he shredded " Off enjoy your life, we only live once so let's make the most of it, filled your dreams that you've plans before, live to the fullest that's i'm hoping for you and mild...Mild is such an amazing woman i felt relief if you'll end up with her, i can see that she'll love you more than i did, she's the one who would join and help you for achieving your goals, she's the one who can give you a happy family that i know you'll never have the chance to build with me. So please love her to the fullest, love her more than you loved me, don't repeat the history itself she's a keeper"

_'i love you'_

gun reached for my face to wipe my tears away and sweetly but with sad smile "your happiness is the only matter for me from the beginning, i once told to myself that 'ah i'll just officially let him go once his search is finally over,once i see him smiling from ear to ear as his eyes sparkled with it because that's the only matter,and pain? Pain means nothing to ne as long you are happy" 

_' i love you ao much gun that i lost words to tell you how much i love you... Please forgive me.'_

"G-gun i-i'm sorry" _'i''m sorry if i have to let you go'_ and i burst as i repeat it over abd over again , gun shook his head and sniffed,he cupped my face

"Look Off, look at me" _no i don't want to because once i look at you i might pull ypu back just to stay in my arms_

Yet i obeyed him

"i might feel hurt for now,but this will passed,i'm a strong person. And even if we took a different paths, you will always have a place in my heart,you will always be special to me, and i didn't regret loving you because you are the reason why i became a better person, you...you will always be my Greatest Love Off,only you" 

_'You are my Greatest Love, You're My one and only you are my everything.... And i' m asking the universe to let us meet in another world where there's no hindrance, only the two of us'_

I didn't hesitate to close our gab so i pulled him closer and hug him tight as my tears flowing unstoppable like a child complaining to my mom

_'mom may i complain? Mom why we didn't end up?'_

"T-thank you for everything gun,thank you for holding ne while i wait for someone, thankyou for being my strength, thank you for loving ne e-even though i caused you a lot of pain...you will always have a big place in my heart gun because you are the one who taught me what is love, those 6 years i spent with you was the happiest...it's just sad that our fate has to end here because i don't wanna hurt you anymore...even if it's hard for me to let you go as well, i'll let you go because i don't want to be unfair...the pain i've caused you is already enough you don't deserve a jerk like me who can't keep a precious like you"

_'I do not know what I have done wrong in the world to give us another trial to make us apart with playful fate but this is all I can promise you my love, you, and you and until the end the first and last I will always want you because you and I are only for each others, even if we are not in the end I will force in the other world to be us, I will fight you and I will no longer be weak in that other world. **Promise'**_

Gun shook his head while he's stll at my chest

"No off you are not a jerk...we are not just meant for each other, that's all we only meant to meet but not to last for a lifetime"

"I love you gun...you'll always be my greatest love" i whispered and cupped gun's face 

' _Fate is such a cruel, but love is the worst'_

"I love you more , and loving you means eternity" he lift his two hands and use his palm to wipes of my tears " _But part of loving you...is to let you go"_

_'i love you that's why i' m letting you go'_

" **Be happy gun"**

_Because that's the only one i want is to see you happy, and because i love you i have to take the risk by letting you go so you won't get hurt once i went to my unveiling fate. I hope he will love you than i love you, i hope he can fulfilled those things i didn't hafd the chance to do for you.... Please be happy_

**"Be happy Off"**

_You are my happiness._

**END OF P. O. V.**

* * *

Gun sat bolt upright and found himself somewhere completely unfamiliar. Everything in the room was bathed in white, from the walls to the blankets on his legs. The only pops of color were the abstract painting on one wall and the guy who's in Blue Shirt who's holding his hand and it seems he fall asleep from crying. 

"Off?" Off awaken by his call and he immediately lift his face to look at him and the latter's eyes grew as he panick

“Finally,ahm what do you want water, food anything else---"

He sat up in the bed. His head pounded. “How long was I out?”

He release a breath. " Almost three days"

_"shit"_ he muttered and look at him "you probably know" he franks

"Unfortunately yes, why did you hide from me?" he hopelessly asked 

"are you trying to be funny off? why do you think i hide it"

"b-because you may tought that i feel s-sorry for you that's why you hide it?" he said as he can't lookk up straightly at gun

"Wrong" Off lift his face "because i don't want to get you hurt ,i don't wanna see you looking sadly at me as i suffer for fighting my ill , i'm not pathetic of and i won't use my condition for making you stay . Do you think this is easy for me? do you think i wanted to have a cancer?no off you're wrong---"

"And do you think i'm not having a hard time as well!?" he furiously said making him flutter

"if you just feel sorry for me off then i don't need your sympathy--"

"I'm sick as well Gun!" he Confess , gun pause trying to sink what he just said and confusion crossed his face

_'there's no point for hiding this anymore'_

"you're sick of me isn't that's wh--

" i fucking have a heart complication gun that's why i broke up with you!" 

_'What'_

Gun looked at him with fears, he was caught off-guard by his sudden revelation. Did he perhaps misheard him? did he have a complication with his ears? he might heared it wrong

"w-what aree you t-talking about?"

he sat beside his bed and fixed his gaze on his hand holding gun's

"when i was 7 when doctors found complication with my heart they told me that my heart is too weak that i can't be exhausted nor handle anything that might attack my heart. i can't either be very happy as well because of my condition. Every birthdays i didn't expierience to tear the wraps considering i can't be too much surprise ,i didn't even experience to be a kid because my parents locked me inside of our mansion ,luckily when i was 10 they found a heart donor that's why flew toward thailand because the heart donor came from thailand especially we have a match because my heart is kinda special . i'm so thankful that god gave me a chance to live for the second time yet i have still limitation therefore for the second time again i didn't felt my teen age days because i cn even join sport activities, all i can do is to stay up all school our on library and classes ofcourse but then...i met you" he said and locked his eyes at him "And then something hits me! Maybe the reason whhy god gave me a second time to live because there's an angel who will give strength on me when ever i feel down, someon who will cheer me up at my bad days, someone who will love me despite of my imperfectionist, someone who will love me unconditionally and that's you gun you're the greatest thing happen to my life. t-that's the r-reason why i broke up with you, " he said as a tears starting to form from his eyes, how universe could be cruel for playing their fates...this is just unfair is it because they're both men?what is wrong for loving the smae gender? "and because i was wrong , i stumbled upon fireworkd . I made a wrong turn and stumbled upon fireworks" he randomly said

"why did you do it?"

"i wonder why too, why did i do it?" as he talks about for breaking gun's heart

"why did you lie"

"At first, i did it because i want to slip away from you and i don't wanna let you know about me ,i want you to resent me therefore it's not going to be hard for me to leave you" 

"Then what about now"

"i-i didn't want you to be to cry...like you're doing now." and he sniffed and looked away " _this is crazy"_

"you're are so selfish Off" Gun said "i want to say that to you, i want to curse you, i want to hate you and throw some hate words" he's voice began to cracks"

"t-then w-why"

"because i love you ! and i can't either tell you that because i lied as well"and he burst into crying and he cied unstop as he stooped down his head 

"oh baby"he pulled gun onto his chest and hush him as he caressed his head "i love you gun..." he mumbles

"i love you.." he repeats made gun stop from crying "i love you,i love you,i love you" he cupped his face and planted some small kisses "i love you so much gun"

Gun looked at him with Joy as his sadnes whirled with it "i love you O-off" 

"that's enough...let's fight this battle t-together , shall w-we?" fears was written over gun's face

"b-but o-off--"

"p-please i'll fight for you as well i won't leave you behind as well , just for me can you do it?" and gun slowly noded

_'There may be no certainty in this fight, but as long as I am still breathing, while I am still by his side and he is by my side ... I will not give up, for the two of us'_

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mild said at the guy who's sitting at the garden of the hospital who's watching the sun to set. You can see how exhausted and lack of sleep on his face but still trying to stay still for a certain person "coffee" she said and extand her hand at him

"What are you doing here" he coldly said

"You're so grumpy , can't i just give you a coffee"

"i don't want one " he said without looking at her

"i'm not offering you like hello there's a big difference with it---whatever take this and don't act like a woman " she said and get oab's hand to put the coffee on it and the guy looked at him unbelievably who's sitting besides him now. He just shook his head and drank the coffee.

"The sun is beautiful isn't it?" she muttered

"hmm just so-so "he said boredly said 

_"tsk,killjoy"_ she mumble

"i heared that " he said

"you're not sure" she mocked but the latter ignore her "you know what you're such a two faced!" she hissed

"what the!?" oab look at her unbelievably

"yes you are a two face when gun is infront of you you'll turn into a soft and baby then like a superheroes in comics" she said made oab lost his word and let out a hard breath

_'omo michaeso ! you're are so crazy you didn't think first before to let it out you are so grrr! eotoke? this is so awkward'_

"ahm i notice that you haven't still visit him, what are you doing here?" she asked

"hmm i don't know...i just don't know how to face them" her eyebrows suddenly arche as she confusingly look at him

"what do you mean?"

"hmm...i just overheard their conversation earlier" Oab stared at the sunset. "I don't really know what to say, like how can be fate so be cruel ? i don't mind gun to be with off since he was his since the beggining. I hated off for what he caused to gun but ...hearing that he had to do that in order to keep gun away from the truth which it is gun's reason. I just find it so funny.."

"An Ill-Fated Love Story" mild suddenly muttered

"huh?"

"The sweetest love story turn into Pain and now will end up with an ill-fated love story,despite they'll still take the leap even if they know they wouldn't have the chance the happy ending that they deserve,their love story is like the sunset ."she said as she admiring the sun set"the sky has change from orange to a hundred shades of pink to a dark navy blue and there they're still over heels" she sweetly smile when she suddenly remember those two couple he can't help not to admire them, desèite of all they've been through they're still standing at the ledge of an end to fight for their love . hope their story would have a happy ending that they deserve

"how can you say that ? i don't consider their love story as a sunset, Once the sun set it's the darkness of our surrounding, and in because of that many people aren't able to look without a light. what I want to convey is that their love that is full of light and sweetness is gradually overshadowed by darkness and those little star are only they can hand for the meanwhile... because of their ill fated love story"

"so you are trying to say that they only have a penny winny chance to stay for a longer" mild can't help not to feel dissapointed at him

"i don't mean it in a bad way , it's just for all people , to those 7.6 billion people living in this planet why the two of them has to experience such a cruel fate? it's just noot fair, i love gun more than anything that i can give up everything for him, but why my first love can't have a proper happy ending?i just want him to be happy" he bit his lips to prevent his tears to stream down, he doesn't want to cry, he won't cry for gun he has to be strong because gun need a friend as well. Mild fix her gaze at her coffee and he can't hellp not to feel downcast

_'he was right, for all of people in this world , there are so many people willing to commit a crime just for their sake of money...God i know you have a better plans for them, but why do you always took those people who deserve to live for a long time to enjoy their life to the fullest?they deserve an ending with joy'_

* * *

Time passed briefly and 2 weeks had passed, Gun continue who his treatment while off is taking care of him as he take care of his self, Even if he doesn't still find for a heart donor he promised his self that he have to live for gun he have to be strong in order to be with him until they grow old he always encourage gun to fight his ill. When gun decided to take the treatment again his hair began to fall that's why he's wearing bonnet now a days, he was skin and bones, pale as a ghost, face masking the ordeal inside. There was a time..no mostly that he hide himself under the white blanket because he doesn't want off to see him like that he felt so unattractive but off has to longer his patient every time gun's mood strike base on what the doctor said there might sometimes that the patient be grumpy especially of the pain they're enduring because of the treatments. However off finds gun still attractive, he may be look so sick but he's just falling in love deeply as the time passed, he has to hug or kiss him just to convince that he's telling the truth and they'll end up cuddling each other, although the pass few days gun became more weak where he can't able to walk for a long time so he has to use a wheelchair Mild told him that's normal considering the medicine were to strong to make him weak.

"Do i really need to fucking do this!?" the guy beside him hissed, oab 

off just chuckled and clung himself into him "baby bro you told me that you will help me right? you love us right nanana" and he blink his eyes like a baby. Oab pushed his face away and act like he was about to vomit and glared at him 

"I said i only love gun not you, go away fucker or else i won't blow this fucking baloons. Like seriously off you're just going to propose, but it feels like you're going to throw a childrens party what's gotten into you" and he kicked the baloons at the pavement that laid all around The Hospital's Auditorium. "this fucking suffocates me"

"Hey brother this is what we call romantic and effort!besides you told me gun's happiness only matter so you have to help me besides you have the benefit here" and he playfully raised his eye brows

"what"

"another heart ache because i'm going to propose to your first love" Oab immidiately pick a baloon and directly popped it near at Off's ears making the latter whined "FUCK YOU OAB!!!" 

"Fuck you more, i don't get you , aren't you scared at baloons but why are you letting me blow 1000 baloons!?"

"Correction it's only 999 baloons because you popped it , and there's a famous saying that---"

"You'll conquer everything in the name of love, duhh off you already said that countless time, and it's so annoying can you just shut your fucking mouth or else i'll destroy this flowers!!!" Jane annoyed said as she organize the bouquet he'll give to gun.

To Make this conclusion shorter, Yes he's going to settle down with gun, he doesn't want to waste any seconds, until he has the chance he want to ask his hand as long they have the chance , he doesn't want to regret at the end, Especially he's been very sure with gun since the beggining. Despite of their conditions he believes that he should do what he want's to do enjoy everything to the fullest.

Oab and him became friends , as you can see. At first there were an awkward moments between the two of them but it came to an end when oab approches him as they had a serious talk but oab regretted as he started to tease Oab, And gun was so happy that time when he founds out that me and oab are already bro's. His Joy was priceless i almost cry at oab's shoulder when i saw him laughing at the both of us especially those time had passed gun could only do is to complain about his pain, and sadness will always written all over his face. Off won't deny that it really painful for him to see gun suffering but he loves him therefore he needs to bear it as he promise to join him in sickness and in health and now, he wants to vow officially at the aisle that he'll love him through good and bad times, in sickness and in health....and to make this perfect he asked for gun's friends , jane,singto and new including Mild.

"i will,because i love him. fears nothing means to me as long he's there to hold my hand" he sweetly smiled as he ppalyed the velvet black box in his hand 

_'i can't wait to make my solemn promises with you gun...'_

* * *

"where are you taking me?" gun asked for hundred times which made mild's eyes rolled in the air considering she is already annoyed

_'i swear off once my patient run out i'll freaking tell him your childish surprise'_

"for thousand times gun , i told you just wait we're alredy near just behave your ass there and please stop talking!!!"she said and push gun's wheelchair . Gun folded his arm and pouted like a kid, oh well he doesn't understand himself either he's mood ofently change and his mood was bad since the morning especially when off hasn't still showing himself and many thoughts filled his head again like

_'what if he find me disgusting because i look like a zombie, nor what if he realize that he's just wasting my time and etc'_

and believe me or not Mild badly wanted to smack his head because of his negative thought,like duh off is so overheels when it comes to gun!

however his attention divert when he notice that some nurses are standing infront of him and giving him some white roses and gun felt..

_'why does it feel like deja vu?'_ "weird.." he mumbled but he just accept the flowers and if he's going to count the flower he thinks it's more than 50+ . He doesn't need to think who planned this sweet shitness , the only guy who can makes his heart pounds and bring smile into his face

_'off...'_

he looked up at mild and the young lady winked at her and raised a thumbs up like she was saying 'good luck!' and As soon they arrive infront of the big door of the audi of the hospital, a three unexpected close to his heart came out of no where...his friends. Jane , singto,and new hasn't still visited him because they immidiately help off for his surprise and this is the first time they saw him since the last incident at the condo. Jane slowly took steps and lift her face to retrained her tears . honestly her heart slowly tearing piece by piece as it falls apart, as soon she heared what happened to gun she immidiately cancel her appointments, and she doesn't want to hate god because she knows that the creature above has a better plan for her friend, but why it has to be him , why his bestfriend 

After she reach gun she slowly look at him and she can't help not to burst in front of him, she fell in her knees and cry from the top of her lungs can't accept her friend condition just looking at him is making her weak and this is more painful than the heartbreak she felt before, gun is so precious for her and now ...

Singto turned around and pinch the bridge of his nose to stop his tears to fall even if his shoulder are shaking , honestly he and krist has a huge problem but seeing guns is the most painful thing he felt, he doesn't want to look weak infront of gun because he knows he will be more saddly. New bite his lips and looked away and took a deep breath , he badly wants to cry but he can't this day is the special day of his friend and he doesn't want to ruined it ,he clench his fist to stop himself to cry.

Gun felt so saddly as he witness how Jane tried to held back her tears but failed, he doesn't want to see them in this way it's hurting him especially jane the girl he treated as a real sister and gun knows how much the girl adore him ,a tear drop from his eyes and he slowly bend to reach for her face and wipe her tears away then he smiled at her like everything is fine, that he's strong he can still fight this battle for them 

"h-hey stop c-crying your n-nose is running" he tease but jane cried more as she hear his voice, his voice were so weak and you can feel how he trying to endure the pain he's feeling

"w-why did you keep this to us?" she hopelessly asked

"b-because i know you'll cry like you're doing now"he husky voice said

"i hate you !" she said and rest her face at his lap and continuely cried like a child there. Gun caressed her hair like a baby and pain, sadness and fear whirled together and crossed to his face while mild put her wrist into her mouth to keep her sobbs ,just seeing the scenery making her heart breaks as he witness how many person loving gun

"H-hey witch don't ruined the moment or else we're dead to off!" New interrupt because he can't stand seeing gun sad therefore he needs to divert jane, jane stops for sobbs and playfully glared at new eventhough she's convincing her self not to look weak infront of him because she knows gun will be more sadly , she looked at gun and held his face "be happy okay! be strong we will join your battle to fight your just p-please d-don't leave u-us "she plead and gun just smile as an answer . She left a letter to his lap and slowly stand up and walked away from gun he picked the letter and read it

_'hey baby you must be wondering what i'm up to right now aren't you? hahaha i know this is cheesy but they said once you're inlove you are becoming cheesy person , anyway it feels deja vu right? well your boyfriend just have a little surprise for you and you'll know it once you entered the room. I love you gun i always will even if you are skin and bones and plae as a ghost i still love you just because you are gun nothing else...i love you from dusk till dawn'_

he shook his head because of his craziness and can't help not smile a little bit.Mild push him and enter him inside the auditorium and his eyes grew because he was surprise when the room was filled of white baloons above while the stairs are filed of white petal roses and the side of it has candle lights where's making it more look romantic. Mild pull his arm to make him stand up and help him to take step down at the stairs and she let him sit at the chairs of the audi . and left him without a word. he was about to call her when some pictures flashes at the screen and he became teary eyed as he realize it was he and off. from their photos, their first monthsarry, first holidays spent together, first anniversary and many more . Tears trail down to his cheeks as the memory came back to his memory , if you only knew how he love those memories they shared and he bite his lips because he doesn't want to burst.

as he was watching the video a familiar song played and he knows it was off who's singing it

_'I found a love for me  
Oh darling, just dive right in and follow my lead  
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet  
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me'_

Off came from the backstage who's holding a big flowers bouquet and he's wearing a simple white polo shirt , white fitted oants and rubber shoes but he was dazing at guns eyes. and he chuckled when off change the lyrics into boy as he slowly sway his waist and he knows how badly off when it comes to dancing just like the prom

_'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love  
Not knowing what it was  
I will not give you up this time  
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own  
And in your eyes, you're holding mine'_

He saw that off's eyes are starting to formed some tears but he's helding it back, he saw some sadness but he was happier as well. he's voice began to shake because of his emotion

_'Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_

_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song_   
_When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath_   
_But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight'_

off gave him the bouquet and sweetly smiled at him, he gladly accept the flower and he mouthed him 'i love you' and off mouthed back 'iloveyou too' he was about to tell ask him but off hush him telling him not to interrupt him

"you maybe confused what i'm up to now well let me tell you something gun. For those 6 years that i spent with you is the most happiest and best thing happen to my life, you lighten up my dark shadow where happened you pulled me away from it, you became my bestfriend, partner in crime , my lover sometimes my mom for nugging me" they both chuckled " you're the one making my heart pounds abnormally , you are the one making me and keep me alive, but you are my weakness after all , you are my down fall and without you in my life is meaningless" his chin began to tremble "we've been through in many things, we had succesfully passed our trials that making us strong, i'm sorry if i told you before that our relationship doesn't have any thrill but i was jjust lying that time god knows how perfect our relationship is i treasure it the most and now he gave us another trial to challenge us to make us stronger, we experience many aches , we cied too much but love we're already at this point where...two lovers are vowing to each other at the aisle to love and join them in good time and bad times,and in sickness and in health , and i want us to vow at each other in the aisle, gun i have a question for you" gun was sobbing so he has to take a deep breath "do you love me?" he nodded his head because he can't talk from sobbing "then will you marry me?can you make your last wish to wish my wish?i wish you to say yes "

gun stand up and off immidiately help gun and as soon gun stands he held off's face and sealed him with a briefly kiss "y-yess yess" he said and off hug him tightly the audi suddenly dim the lights and there he saw the closest person to their lives are crying because of joy and clapping their hands on them like they were so very happy for the two of them. Off slowly slipped the ring into his finger and he kiss him for the second time

_'we are ready for the next step...'_

* * *

_**Fast Forward** _

this is the day! where Off and gun are tying the knott . after off proposed to gun he didn't waste any seconds he decided to make the wedding as soon as possible and after three days passed their wedding venue is already perfect their relatives are present to witness to vow their love at the aisle even though Same sex marriage isn't still legal at the phillipines he was lucky that off has a lawyer from thailand who will help them to legal their marriage. The wedding is unfortunately will happen at the Hospital's vip venue considerong gun can't be away because there's something might happen to him which is he won't risk gun's health especially they can get married again as soon gun becomes well. It's been 13 hours since he last saw him especially his friends doesn't want him to see gun because about the supersition thing ,and can't do anyrhing which it is so frustating

"son are you ready" the old guy beside him asked ,his dad

"Dad that is gun, i'm always ready when it comes to him"

"Oh well it runs from the blood we are always ready for love of our life" and they both laugh "but seriously son i'm so proud of you, i'm admiring that despite both of your conditions you still remained strong and i'm so proud to be your father because i have a son that is stronger than superman "

"i guess it's because of love" he said

" No matter what happen off never leave his side you're now taking the next step i know it's very hard for you because of your situations but always keep in your mind that you love him that's why you are fighting. Don't lose hope off once we found a heart donor you can take care of him completely"

"Yes dad thankyou so much" his dad patted his shoulder

"Sir Off The Groom is already ready!" Their wedding coordinator said so they went to their place and he stand at the side of the aisle where he will wait for his groom

"Tsk" the guy beside him hissed ,off smack his butt "the fu--" off pointed the statue at the middle and oab gulped "fudgee bar"

"Can you please stop looking so bitter you look so awful you are ruining my wedding" Off Hissed to his bestman. Yes oab is his bestman and why?

"Then why did you even made me your bestman you have a lot of friends"he complains

"Because you are the second lead in this story so you need to see your first love getting married to your frene----FUCK YOU OAB!!!!" He whines as Oab punch his stomach

"Try to annoy me one more time or else i'll run gun away from you" off bigger his eyes at him

"Don't you dare or else i will reveal to Doc.Alrissa that you have---nanjsjmakakak"

"Can you just shut up" He annoyingly muttered and off mischievously smiled at him

"herherh someone is catching some feelings" Oab snorted and didn't replied anymore

Off Let out of breath ,and he inhale and exhaled , so this is how it feels to get married huh?the saying was true that once you waited for the one you will join for the rest of your life you can't help not to get anxiety. Toughts filleed his head, what if Gun back up? What if Gun doesn't want to get married at him and etc. But he always keep on his mind that he should trust gun because gun love him so much.

"Be strong" the guy beside him suddenly muttered

"huh"

"no matter what another trial both of you might face ,i am rooting for the poth 9f you to be more stronger than before, love him to the fullest, look after him the way he deserve because today is the day where i'm finally letting go my first love and leaving him up to you"

Those simple words touch his hearr,who'd ever thought his Rival before is now his BestMan?well the world is round i guess...he extend his hand for a shake hand and oab raised his right brow as hw looks at it and shook his head like it's against his will to accept it and off frawn

'you don't want huh....ok '

"ugh" oab groan as off hugged him suddey "[let.me](http://let.me).go.fucker. they might think that you haven't still get married but you ars having an affair damn" and off chuckled ,he was about to respond when the door of the venue suddenly opened and there he saw Jane wearing a nude long gown who's holding a basket of petal flowers as sign of a flower girl,after her New Holding their ring as the ring bearer but the latter is frawning because he didn't wanted to be a ring bearer , singto who's holding a piece of cloth tha he guess it will be the one he will tie on he and gun and Mild Who's wearing a pink simple dress with her braid hair looking at him happily like she's telling that 'finally you both made it!' and last but not the least Gun...

A dashing and stunning man stepped inside the venue who's wearing a white and black tuexedo and black bonnet walkinbg toward him as his parents are slowly with careful support his weight to approach him . His heart races as gun smiled at him.

It feels like their first encounted where the latter pounded his heart and he knew from the very first time he .... He is the one he wanna spend with. He pinch the bridge pf his nose as try not to cry,because just thinking all thibgs thngs they've been trough especially now where in middle of life and death are keeping them more stronger. He licked his lips ,and sweetly smiled at him as he mouthed 'i love you' and gun replied to. He wanted to meet him at the half way but he might just ruined the wedding and he'll get a nugg from his mom

However his heart pounded but not because of happiness but because of fears when a red stained his tuexido,he's eyes grew when gun's nose began to bleed and seems gun felt it because he brought his hand to his nose and he's eyes grew when he niticed what it is he looked at him weakly

"o-off" people arround them got panick because his nose was bleeding but they got more afraid wheb gun passed out ...he passed out on their wedding day. Off was badly worried to gun "GUN!!!!" he runs toward him and tapped gun's face "b-baby tell me you are okay please d-dont leave me ,d-dont fucking ruined our wedding baby wake up " Off was burstinv into tears "baby i love yo----ugh" he place his hand at the top of his chest as he feels his heart clenched in pain that giving him a hard time to breath

'no ,please not now'

He tried to neglect it but the further the longer his having the hard time to breath. "Son are you okay!?"his father asked

"g-gun---"he didn't had the chance to finish his sentence but before his gaze went black there's only one certain person run his mind

_'my heart...gun'_

**END OF CHAPTER 7**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMYGOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ONLY LEFT ONE CHAPTER WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN WITH THEIR ENDING!? Did you cried fpr the second time around? Then let me know what's your feelings about my story . Sorry if i took long tine to update because i'm busy with my acads as well althoug hope you liked the story ,Thank you for supporting me if you are still readung this chapter and looking forward for epilogue. Just like before leave a kudo and share me your thoughts.
> 
> Clue : Twist.
> 
> For more twitter :@heavenlyeuri,

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for the next update, i'll update once i finished composing the chapter ,vacant time as well. Khub Phun na Kha ＜3
> 
> for more follow me on my twitter account : @heavenlyeuri ( to read some filo au's)


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